Feel The Beat
by Kristine93
Summary: "Have you gone mad!"Renji hissed,glancing in the boy's direction"He can't be our lead singer!No one has EVER heard him sing, he's weird,rude and cold!Even if he CAN sing,he doesn't have the feeling for it!"Matsumoto frowned "You're wrong."H&M FINISHED!
1. Intro

**A/N: Ok, the beginning of my new story... I'm not leaving my other in-progress Bleach story, for whoever is wondering, I just felt like writing this first. I'm not sure if the first chapter is very interesting, but I'll do my best to make the next chapters better. So read this thing and tell me what you think. Oh! And there're no shinigami stuff here, everybody are just ordinary students. Ok? Ok.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/mangd Bleach, the chapters or the songs included in this fanfiction.**

'Alright… Ready? One… Two… Th- ICHIGO! What the hell do you think you're doing?'

'Oops. Sorry.'

Pause.

'…Ichigo?'

'Yeah?'

'Would you mind…?'

'What?'

'…Removing the packets of waffles and chips from inside the trumpet…'

'But nobody plays it anyway…'

'I don't care. Get them out. Right. NOW!'

'Alright, alright… Gosh… I wonder what her problem is'

'What was that?'

'Oh. Nothing! I'm just… apologizing to the trumpet… for being so careless.'

'…Right. Now let's get st- RENJI!'

'What?'

'This is no time for ordering pizza!'

'I know.'

'Good for you. Now hang up the…'

'I'm not ordering pizza. I'm ordering some Chinese food.'

A soft weary sigh followed that statement.

'We've got work to do! Now will you PLEASE concentrate?'

Pause.

'Rangiku's late.' Ichigo pointed out, crossing his arms in front of his chest, one hand holding both drumsticks 'We can't start without her.'

Ise Nanao sighed and reached with one hand to rub her eyebrows in what seemed to be a rather pathetic attempt to ease the headache that was beginning to bother her thanks to the complete lack of cooperation. She was so NOT the person for such job.

'Look…' she begun, annoyance clear in her voice as she eyed the people under her guardianship carefully. What she saw was a bunch of bored teenagers, staring puzzlingly back at her, each of them with a different instrument in their hands. Of course they all had talent but that was so not enough. They lacked any sort of organization whatsoever and they were so easily distracted they could hardly do any work without stopping at least ten times during the process.

'Yeah, we are looking.' Renji noted, leaning lazily against the wall, his guitar resting peacefully in his feet.

Nanao took a deep breath.

'LOOK…' she repeated, this time louder 'I completely understand why you're acting this way. I…'

'No, you don't!' Rukia cut her off, eyes narrowed inimically 'We can't be a normal band anymore! Our vocal is gone! And there is no one to sing with Rangiku who refuses to sing solo on the competition and we can't even play properly, BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PRACTICE! We can't THINK of anything to practice, we can't and we are all stuck like this until we find somebody for a lead singer!'

'Well, it's not like it's my fault, so you can stop SHOUTING at me!' Nanao snapped back, lips tightly pursed 'I _do_ understand! I do understand your lack of motivation and the stress and all, but hey! Ichimaru left, but that's just one person! All of you are still here and if you…'

'Gin chose all the songs.' Ichigo pointed out gloomily.

'He made up all the arranges and the choreography…' came Renji's comment as he put his hands in his pockets.

'He organized everything.' Orihime finished, looking down at her toes 'To put it simply, he did most of the work.'

Nanao stood silent for a couple of seconds, then finally let out a long sigh and shook her head.

'I give up!' she announced, turning around on her heel 'Rangiku asked me to come and help you, but you can't be helped! You don't want to compete and to win – fine! Go feel sorry for yourselves. I don't care! I don't care at _all_!' At that point she rolled her eyes heavenwards and quickly headed to the front door, undisturbed by anyone. Ichigo, Renji, Rukia and Orihime didn't make any effort to stop her, just watched quietly as she exited, leaving them all alone in the deserted night club. After she was gone there were a couple of seconds of awkward silence.

'That wasn't a nice thing to do.' Inoue murmured, thoughtfully tracing the keys of her keyboard with her fingers 'She just wanted to help…'

'Well, she can't.' Renji groaned, sliding down the wall he was leaning against 'We can't do anything without a lead singer. Someone to perform with Rangiku…'

'Yes, and to do everything for us.' Rukia spat, rolling her eyes 'You know it's almost impossible to find someone who'll willingly do that!'

'Gin did it.'

'Gin was an exception. And Gin left.'

Renji's jaw clenched along with his fists.

'That bastard…' the red-head growled, looking away angrily 'It's not even the fact he left the band what annoys me that much… But what he did to Rangiku…'

They fell silent, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Everything had seemed so perfect, so well-planned just a month ago. They had been preparing for the competition, playing in the night club three nights in the week so they'd have the place during the whole day for practicing, and yes... Matsumoto and Ichimaru had been a couple… Things had been going smoothly, time passing fast and unnoticeable. But just as every good thing, this too, quickly came to an end. One morning, just like that, Gin had left. His explanation had been written in a slap-dash manner on a small piece of paper and it pretty much said he had received an offer for a musical career he could not just turn down, that he had to make some changes in his life, think for his future and he was very sorry…

Well, 'sorry' didn't fix anything…

Since that moment things had started to get worse. The incident broke Matsumoto's heart, left them without a lead singer and the band begun to slowly sink in deeper and deeper desperation. Their enthusiasm was reducing constantly, the rehearsals were lessening in frequency and when they actually happened, they were short and almost nothing was sang or played.

'What are we going to do now?' Orihime asked slowly. In respond Renji sighed and stood up, dusting off his clothes.

'Well… It's pretty obvious.' He said, stretching his arms and directing a rather absent-minded look in the front door's direction 'If we want this band to keep existing, we need to find someone to sing with Rangiku. And that's that.'

'Then we're doomed. No one will agree on doing everything Gin did.' Rukia murmured irritably as she lifted the guitar and carried it to its sack. By the looks of it, they wouldn't do anything today day so just wandering around with the guitar didn't seem to have any point. She could bet that in few minutes they'd all be outside, hanging out, having pointless conversation and doing just as pointless activities. Rangiku wasn't about to come. That was already perfectly clear to everybody.

'Nah, don't be like that, Rukia!' Ichigo replied as he walked behind her, leaned against the wall on his left shoulder and crossed his legs while waiting for her 'There must be somebody out there… just waiting for us to discover his existence…'

* * *

School corridors, next day…

'Surely, he can't be a senior…'

'Yeah, he can't boast about with that height of his, I agreed, but they say he's a genius.'

'A genius?'

'Uh huh. And he's also one of the best at sports, which really leaves me wondering about how he does it…'

'Looks like a creepy little vampire to me… Look at how pale he is… And those eyes…'

'There really is something weird about him, everybody can see it… He has almost no friends, people say he hates music classes even though he's always with the earphones and the i-pod and he never takes off that cap… Even during classes.'

'Doesn't that make teachers mad?'

'It does. But he's the principal's nephew AND the smartest boy in the school, so they leave him be.'

'…Cool.'

'Not really. He's absolutely spoiled. Does whatever he wants and no one does anything about it…'

'Ugh! Just cuz he's related to-…'

'Oh, here he comes… Shh…'

Hitsugaya Toushiro passed by the two without paying any attention to their conversation, baseball cap pulled over his piercing jade eyes. The hat prevented curious gazes from seeing most of his hair and what was in view were just a strand or two of something that had the suspicious snowy-white color. It had bothered the students a lot at the beginning (about six months ago) and several of them had tried to get to see what he was hiding, but the kid turned out to be not only a genius with maths and science, but good at kicking annoying people's butts. His simply supernatural intuition helped him get away before the hand had even grabbed him and he succeeded in getting rid of whoever was bothering him very quickly afterward. Eventually, people left him be and just got used to the mystery surrounding his being, his short temper, cold attitude, haughtiness and indifference towards everything and everybody that weren't directly connected with him.

Hitsugaya stopped at the next turn in front of a door. He had the earphones still blasting music in his ears and the skateboard under his arm. Glancing at his watched, he noted to himself he was just in time and with a small sigh, he turned the i-pod off and put it along with the earphones in his pocket, before going in.

'Good morning…' he greeted the new music teacher absently and headed to his place at the back of the room, just next to the window. Thesecond he sat down, the bell rang and most of the student groaned with annoyance before heading to their own seats. There was a short moment of utter havoc, then everybody were put and ready for whatever they were going to be facing. It was just then that the door of the classroom burst open and a tall strawberry-haired girl with very nice curves entered, or rather rushed in the room.

'Ooops!' Matsumoto Rangiku reached to fix her already perfect hair and giggled nervously 'Sorry about that. I… uh… lost track of the time.'

The music teacher pushed her glasses up her nose a bit - probably a bad habit she had developed like most people with sight problems.

'Take a seat, Miss. And make sure not to be late next time.'

'Of course.' With another nervous giggle, Matsumoto started to make her way to her place just behind Rukia. Hitsugaya only gave her a mindless glance before redirecting his impassive gaze to the window again. Unlike him, he could tell most of the boys took their time ogling the girl, pairs of hungry eyes following her every movement as though it was going to make her notice them.

_So… primitive…_

'Sorry about not coming to the repetition yesterday…' Matsumot whispered to Rukia.

'No worries. We did nothing, anyways…' the black-haired girl replied as she rolled her eyes and rested her head on her hand.

_Repetition? _Hitsugaya's usual frown deepened slightly as the words reached his ears. Oh, yes… They were some sort of a music band, right? Right…

And so the lesson started. Since the teacher was new, the first thing she did was to ask everybody for his or her name. Then she looked at the textbook for a couple of minutes, nodding to herself thoughtfully as she checked what they had done so far. At the end, she put everything down, clapped her hands together and announced that since this was their first class together, they'd just sing whatever kind of songs they like. The news were welcomed with a loud cheer by everybody, except of the pale boy at the back of the room, who just sighed.

Seconds later the whole school corridor was shaking with the uproarious singing, or more like shouting of the class, most of the tones absolutely false. The obvious tone deafness of the students was, however, compensated by their sincere enthusiasm and_ well_, yes, even _Toushiro_ had to give them a credit for trying so very hard to sing properly. Apparently, the teacher was thinking the same for she seemed exceptionally pleased by the teenager's efforts. She stood in front of the class with a big smile on her face, eyes travelling from face to face, from widely opened mouth to another, until she noticed Hitsugaya. He was just sitting there, gazing out of the window with his head resting on his hand and his lips tightly sealed together.

The teacher put her hands on her hips and scanned the boy again from nose to tail and after making sure he wasn't about to take part in the singing started to make her way towards him.

Hitsugaya looked up with a hint of reluctance in his jade eyes as she approached him.

'Yes?' he asked, raising eyebrows expectantly.

'You are not singing.' She pointed out. _Thank you, Mrs Obvious._

'So?'

'Well, you can't just sit here, doing nothing…'

'I don't sing.' He announced calmly. The teacher blinked with confusion, for a moment not realizing what he meant. Then her mouth formed a big 'o', which was the obvious sign of understanding, and then smiled brightly at the boy.

'Oh, don't be shy, most of the people in here can't sing but they…'

'I didn't say I _couldn't _sing.' Hitsugaya cut her off, eyes rolling with annoyance 'I said I just _didn't_ do it.'

The teacher stared at him oddly and somewhat indignantly. Hitsugaya just gazed back, looking completely composed and undisturbed.

'You can't do that!' the teacher finally exclaimed, shaking her head 'Without a suitable excuse, the student does whatever he is told to!'

'Actually' he begun, raising his hand to keep her from continuing 'I have a permission from the principal considering singing in music classes.' With that he shoved his hand in the depths of his schoolbag and in a minute pulled out a folded piece of paper 'Here.'

The teacher took it and after fixing her glasses, quickly scanned the content. With every row she read, her eyes widened more and more until she was staring stupidly at the sheet in her hand.

'It seems you've understood.' Hitsugaya nodded to himself and before the teacher had time to reply, reached for the piece of paper and pulled it away from her rather rudely. Coming back to her senses, the teacher took a deep breath and also nodded, looking somewhat embarrassed.

'I-I… see.' She said, forcing a smile 'I knew about the hat, but I was uninformed about this.'

'It's ok. Thank you.' Hitsugaya replied with a tone that simply demanded an end of the conversation.

'Yes, yes…' the teacher murmured, then turned around and headed back to the front of the room. As soon as she was out of the view, Hitsugaya let out a sigh, the sound of which quickly sank in the noise, produced by his classmates and was just about to return to his previous activities (which simply represented staring out of the window), when he noticed that Matsumoto had stopped singing and was now staring at him. His frown deepened.

'What are you looking at?' he snapped, eyes narrowing. Startled, she quickly looked away.

* * *

After the music class…

'Isn't it weird?' Matsumoto questioned, raising a brow as she ran a hand through her hair.

'What do you mean?' Rukia asked, somewhat distracted as they walked down the school corridor and towards the school cafeteria.

'I mean that everybody knows that this boy Hitsugaya Toushiro does not sing. He has permission from the principal not to… Why wouldn't he want to sing? I mean, even people who don't sing well do it with pleasure…'

'Well, the principal is his uncle so I guess this boy-genius is just a big whimsical and Mr. Ukitake, being the soft-hearted person he is, just does whatever the kid asks him to.' Rukia suggested, shrugging. Matsumoto chucked her chin thoughtfully.

'Maybe you are right.' She agreed, looking up at the ceiling 'But that doesn't make Hitsugaya Toushiro much less weird.'

'Does it really bother you that much? What's gotten into you?'

'No… I mean, it's just that… Well, who'd want to be like this? Be so distanced from everybody? Not to have friends? Who'd want to hide his hair all the time? And why?'

'A person untimely bald-headed?' Rukia smirked, making the other girl giggle.

'Don't be ridicules!'

'I'm not. He acts like a glum little old man already.' The black-haired girl pointed out, making an exaggeratedly wise and knowing face. Seeing that, Matsumoto's giggles turned into a full-blown laughter and she stopped walking to calm herself down. Rukia's smirk grew wider and she also stopped, haughtily crossing her hands in front of her chest as she waited for Rangiku to collect herself.

'…Right.' Matsumoto said, chasing the small blush away from her face with a sigh and grinning at her friend 'So… Are we going to do anything after school?'

'You mean like a repetition?'

'Yeah. I have to hand my report after school to the biology teacher and then we can go.'

Rukia just nodded, though she deeply suspected they were going to rehearsal just as much as they did the last time…

* * *

After school…

When the last bell rang, Matsumoto instructed Rukia and Renji to go find Ichigo and Orihime and wait for her in front of the school building, then she headed towards the staff room for she still had to hand her report. As she walked towards her destination, most students were running pass her in the opposite direction, quickly empting the building before her very eyes. For what seemed like seconds, the corridors became quieter and more peaceful, which, as a matter of fact, wasn't a common thing to witness.

Handing the report took more time then expected, for the biology teacher was having a big, long, detailed conversation with some other teacher and Matsumoto had to wait patiently a meter away. About ten or fifteen minutes later, Rangiku finally got her attention and a second later she was heading back to the exit, walking thought the completely empty school building.

Matsumoto shoved a hand in her pocket and pulled out her mobile phone. She was wondering if her friends were still waiting for her or had already left for the night club. Fiddling with the buttons for a moment, she started searching for Orihime's number and was just about to begin cursing the creepy silence that was somehow making her even more clumsy, when a very unexpected yet pleasant sound reached her ears.

'What the…?' Matsumoto murmured, blinking as she looked around, trying to find the source of the sound. It took her seconds to realize it came from the principal's office. Strangely enough, Rangiku felt like eavesdropping, so without a second thought, she quickly headed to the door. When she reached it, the sounds that had been way too quiet for her to identify before had already turned into words and familiar notes.

Matsumoto's eyes widened.

Someone was singing.

_'…__Its nothing but some feelings. _

_That this old dog kicked up  
Its been raining since you left me  
Now I'm drowning in the flood  
You see I've always been a fighter  
But without you I give up…'  
_  
'This voice… It's… amazing…' Rangiku whispered astonished and without even thinking, she placed a hand on the handle and quietly pushed the door open. What she saw next was the back of a boy that was sitting on top of the principal's desk and had earphones shoved in his ears. Rangiku chocked on her own breath as she saw who it was…

_Hitsugaya Toushiro?_

This thick, deep voice, these words that were spoken in such way, steeped with so much feelings and expressiveness… How could it belong to someone who always seemed so emotionless?

_'…Now I can't sing a love song  
Like the way it's meant to be  
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore  
But baby, that's just me…'  
_

Matsumoto thought her whole body had stopped functioning for a second - every single cell had frozen, every muscle was utterly still, tense with shock and apprehension, every bit of the girl was just _numb_... everything, _except_ her wildly banging heart. She knew the song, she knew when the chorus was supposed to begin and for a moment, the very same moment just before it, she felt as if she had just jumped above a chasm and was flying towards a rope she had to catch to save herself.

Hitsugaya's eyes were tightly closed and his pale palms were covering his ears in what seemed to be an attempt to keep any unwanted sounds away. When he begun singing the chorus, when that strong voice of his left the usually tightly sealed lips, Matsumoto felt her skin prickle, her legs go weak and her hand grip the door-frame.

'_…__And I will love you, baby - always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - always  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and  
The words don't rhyme  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind  
And I'll love you – always…'  
_

This boy… how could he _possible_ have such strong radiation of emotion while singing? How could he possibly be so different from the cold and distanced boy genius now, while doing what he had never ever done during the music classes he hated so much?

_'…Now your pictures that you left behind  
Are just memories of a different life  
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry  
One that made you have to say goodbye  
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair  
To touch your lips, to hold you near  
When you say your prayers try to understand_  
_I've made mistakes, I'm just a man…_'

'We need him…' Matsumoto whispered under her breath. Hitsugaya never heard her. He was too absorbed in the singing. And she didn't mind, really. At this moment there was nothing more important than listening to his voice. For a heartbeat, that boy had succeeded in making her forget where she was, what she was doing… even who she was.

…He made her forget Gin…

His singing was like nothing she had every experienced - a phenomenon, a miracle... it was pure _magic_, whatever it was that he was doing. It came to him with frightening ease as though he wasn't even trying - was that even possible?

Matsumoto swallowed with difficulty, her body suddenly beginning to shake as the effect of the song sank into her very bones.

_This is just... too much!_

Hitsugaya's voice seemed to be denying all physical laws, shoving away the reality further from whoever was there to hear him, pulling them in deeper and deeper into a completely new dimension, in a place where there were no memories of previous existence and no worries, and no guilt, and no blame, and no hate...

...just music.

'_When he holds you close, when he pulls you near  
When he says the words you've been needing to hear  
I'll wish I was him cause those words are mine  
To say to you till the end of time_'

_Yeah, I will love you baby - always  
And Ill be there forever and a day - always_

_If you told me to cry for you  
I could  
If you told me to die for you  
I would  
Take a look at my face  
There's no price I won't pay  
To say these words to you_

_Well, there ain't no luck  
In these loaded dice  
But baby if you give me just one more try  
We can pack up our old dreams  
And our old lives  
We'll find a place where the sun still shines_

_And I will love you, baby - always  
And Ill be there forever and a day - always  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and  
The words don't rhyme  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind  
And I'll love you – always…_

Matsumoto blinked. And blinked again. And again.

She felt as if she had just woken up from a dream. Everything seemed so foreign and distant. What was real? What wasn't?

The borders between real world and the dreamland were still rather woolly.

Before her Hitsugaya slowly removed the earphones from his ears and a deep heavy sigh escaped his lips. He then ran a hand across his face and looked up at the ceiling.

'…Dammit…' he whispered '…Why can't I fucking forget…?'

His hand found his pocket and he pulled out something that looked like a photo. Matsumoto couldn't see what there was on it. He was still sitting with his back towards her, blocking her view.

'Who were you singing for?' the words left her lips before she could hold back, making the boy turn around abruptly and stare at her with large jade eyes that held a hint of childish vulnerability.

* * *

Song: Bon Jovi - Always


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ATTENTION! THIS IS NOT A HITSUHINA FIC! I'M MAJORLY SORRY, HITSUHINA FANS, WHO GOT MISGUIDED! I MESSED UP THE STORY PROPERTIES! THIS IS A HITSUMATSU STORY AND I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND IF NON-FANS OF THE COUPLE STOP READING! Thank you very much.**


	3. Conversation

**A/N: Chapter 2, no songs here, but there definitelly will be in the next one. Not much happens in here but I hope you'll like it anyway. **

* * *

Ever felt under so embarrassed, scared or shocked in front of another person, that when you try speaking, you suddenly find yourself incapable to do so? You manage somehow to pronounce the first letter or two, but the rest transforms into a brief wheezy and inarticulate sound that surprises even you before you start suffocating. Your throat becomes dry and your lungs refuse to accept the oxygen they so much need. It feels like your whole organism has blocked. The blood in your veins seems to have frozen and the strength your body is known to possess seems to have vanished, leaving you weak and vulnerable…

Definitely not the most wonderful feeling in the world…

…But that's what happened to Hitsugaya at the moment he realized he hadn't been alone while singing…

'Wha-ugh…' his hand shot up, wrapping around his slender throat and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, face paling. A strange chocking sound escaped his lips, followed by another one, as if the boy simply couldn't inhale. Matsumoto's eyes widened with worry and she made a move to approach him and try to help, but he somehow guessed her intentions with his eyes still closed and abruptly raised his hand to prevent her from doing so. She stopped, not knowing what else to do and watched him fight to recover.

'What… are you doing here?' he asked softly as the sweet oxygen finally flew freely into his lungs.

'I just… I was passing by the door and I heard you…'

'You heard nothing!' the boy snapped, swiftly jumping from the desk and rounding it so he could face her with his usual rigid expression and tightly sealed pale lips.

'Huh? What do you…'

'You just heard _nothing_… ok?' he insisted again as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. This time, however, she could tell his voice wasn't as strong. This time, she could tell… she could _sense_… the desperate hint in the cold tone he was using.

'I sure like hell did!' Matsumoto retorted, hands on her hips as she eyed the boy up and down with a raised eyebrow 'And I really, _really_ liked it.'

'You don't…'

'Honestly, you're awesome, why haven't you tried participating in some band or something… Hasn't anyone told you what an amazing voice you've got?'

Hitsugaya's eyes widened for one brief moment, before narrowing dangerously and his delicate lips and soft features twisted in an annoyed and enraged face Rangiku found herself already hating. His fingertips on the top of the right hand dug into his right arm, his shoulders raised a little and body stiffened into a position she could only describe as barely restrained one.

'This is none of your business!' he snapped through clenched teeth. In respond, Matsumoto blinked innocently, slightly tilting her head to a side.

'Why not?'

For a moment, Hitsugaya just stared at her, shocked by the utter stupidity of the question those two simple words created, then shook his head with disbelieve.

'It's my privacy, for God's sake!'

'Well, I've just entered it anyway so what's the point of trying to keep me out now? Anyway… listen.' Matsumoto let a big cheerful smile spread across her face 'Would you be so kind to consider an offer I have to make?'

Hitsugaya glared.

'No.'

Matsumoto gave him an indignant look, pouting her ripe lips.

'You haven't even heard me out!'

'I don't care. Whatever you want from me, my answer is no.'

'That is very impolite!'

'Who are you, my mother?'

Matsumoto rolled her eyes and leaned against the door-frame on one shoulder, her thin eyebrows raising artistically to give him a very indistinctive for her personality but strongly effective haughty look.

'Well, considering the fact you ARE acting like an impertinent little child, that wouldn't be so far from the truth.' She pointed out matter-of-factly, chin slightly raising. Hitsugaya's glare hardened under the brim of the hat and perfectly white teeth were bared dangerously at the girl.

'Why you… I'M NOT A CHILD!'

Matsumoto smirked inwardly.

_Touchdown_.

'Well, then don't act like one!' she pressured, pushing away from the wall and bending slightly to his eye-level.

Hitsugaya eyed her face carefully in a way she could tell he was reckoning whether it was worth it letting this girl continue getting on his nerves just so he could show her his maturity. One hand, it was a stupid and rather childish hook to catch on and common sense was shouting that at him, reminding he didn't have to prove anything in front of a random stranger. On the other was his pride, his utter need to make Matsumoto shut up and show her she had nothing to be haughty about since he was equal to her in every way, maybe even better in some. Indeed, due to his abnormal intelligence he'd gone through some skipping of grades and he was therefore now two or three years younger than her but that fact didn't mean anything, it didn't make her his superior. It didn't make any of his classmates his superiors, as he was trying to prove them for quite some time…

Unfortunately, quite unsuccessfully so far.

'Fine.' Hitsugaya growled 'What do you want?'

Matsumoto's face immediately lit up.

'You must've heard about the band me and my friends form.'

'What about it?'

'Well, we need a lead singer. And I think you'll be the perfect person to take the job.' She beamed, eyes sparkling with excitement 'Believe me, I've never heard anyone sing like you do! Such a… unearthly voice… Such passion… The person you sing about must be really lucky.'

The moment she spoke the last sentence, she realize what a mistake she'd just done. His features softened, shoulders slumped and he looked away, haunted jade eyes disappearing under the shade of the cap's brim.

'Are you… are you ok?' Matsumoto asked carefully, reaching to place a hand on his shoulder, but he pushed her palm away.

'Just fine.' He replied quietly, his voice making her heart sink 'I… I don't think I can be of any use. I'm sorry. I don't sing.'

Letting out an almost imperceptible sigh, Hitsugaya turned around, walked back to the desk and pulled his skateboard from underneath it.

'Why not? I don't understand…' Matsumoto protested as she watched him gather his stuff from all around the office and prepare to leave.

'I just don't, ok? Find someone else!' Hitsugaya replied, this time more sharply as he fixed the collar of his jacket 'And anyway, your band exists for quite some time. Don't tell me you haven't had a lead singer from the very start.'

'We had a lead singer.' Matsumoto murmured, eyes focusing on the ground and brows furrowing 'He left a month ago.'

Those words made Hitsugaya pause for a moment, hands dropped soundlessly by his sides while he let his piercing jade eyes travel up and down her now slightly slumped against the door-frame form and stop on her face. Rangiku lifted her gaze to meet his and for a few long silent seconds they just stared. She didn't know what was going on - all she knew was that she simply couldn't look away. She was mesmerized by the deep limpid orbs, paralyzed, breath-taken. It felt as if they were penetrating through her whole body and soul, digging deep, deep inside her, deeper than they should, deeper than she thought she would let him go… And yet she wasn't resisting. She couldn't.

It felt like a century when he finally released her from whatever hypnosis he had applied on her. Blinking slowly, he nodded to himself and put his hands in his pockets, gaze directing to the window.

'I see.' was all he said, making Matsumoto feel somewhat awkward and uncomfortable in her own skin. Letting out a small puff, she opened her mouth to speak, but was prevented from doing so when another door, opposite the one she had come from opened, revealing a tall man with a kind smile and long straight locks of white hair dangling next to his cheeks.

'Toushiro! Sorry for being late. I'll get my things and we can go. Just wait for a…' principal Ukitake stopped mid-sentence when his eyes landed on Matsumoto and his lips formed an 'o'.

'Principal!' Rangiku exclaimed, pushing away from the door-frame and grinning sheepishly 'How are you doing?'

'I'm fine, thank you for asking.' Ukitake replied with a smile and then slowly redirected his gaze from her to his nephew, raising both eyebrows. Hitsugaya let out a tired sigh and rolled his eyes.

'She's a classmate. Came to ask me something.' He said halfheartedly. Matsumoto blinked, then laughed nervously and nodded.

'Yes, that's exactly how it happened.' She confirmed, putting her hands behind her back in an innocent manner.

'See?' Hitsugaya gestured dismissively in her direction 'No need to give me those suspicious looks. And besides, she was just leaving. Right?'

'Right.' Matsumoto agreed as she nodded goodbye to both him and the principal 'It was nice seeing you. Have a nice day.'

With that she turned around on her heel and made a step or two in the corridor. Then she suddenly stopped, biting her lower lip thoughtfully.

'Hey, Hitsugaya!' Matsumoto shouted, looking through the opened door of the office over her shoulder 'Think about it. We're at Kyouraku's nightclub all day long today. So if you change your mind… you know where to find us.'

And with that, she walked away.

* * *

Later that day…

'I really don't see why we are doing this. It's useless. There's no point in playing just random songs… old songs you've sang with Gin… It's not like we'll use any of them in the competition.' Renji pointed out rolling his eyes with annoyance at Rangiku as he leaned his guitar against the wall and rubbed his fingertips.

'What do you suggest? That we just give up?' she asked, folding her arms in front of her chest 'Any sort of repetition is useful. Besides, when we get a new lead-singer, we can't be completely out of shape, right? And that's why we ought to keep up with the practicing.'

Ichigo's eyelids lowered with boredom.

'Do you see any candidates for the job around here? I see none.'

Matsumoto turned around and to give him a blood-freezing glare.

'Well, you haven't met anyone but that doesn't mean _I _haven't!' she snapped in a way that made him involuntary pull back a bit. Ichigo let out a nervous laughter, reaching to rub the back of his head as he opened his mouth to reply. The words never left his lips as a small female figure jumped in front of him, catching Rangiku's attention.

'Wait a second,' Rukia asked, eyes slightly narrowed 'So you say… You actually have somebody in mind?'

A smirk formed slowly on Matsumoto's face as she nodded smugly.

'Yup! I've got somebody in mind. And I expect him to come some time soon.' She announced, making the rest of the band members exchange puzzled glances.

'Yeah? And who's that?' Ichigo asked.

At that point the front door of the nightclub opened with a soft squeak and somebody stepped in, looking around curiously. Everybody's gazes snapped up and locked on the person.

'What the…' Ichigo begun, standing up and rounding the drums to have a closer look. Rukia's mouth opened involuntarily, Renji choked on his own breath and Orihime let out a funny sound no one paid attention to. In spite of those not-so-polite reactions, Matsumoto cracked a smile, gesturing to Hitsugaya to come closer.

* * *

**Um... review?**


	4. Just For You

**_A/N: Prepare for some OOCness here. Sorry, but that's how it is. And I like it that way. I think it turned out better than the previous chapters. _**

* * *

Renji was first to react – right after he restored his breathing – and what he did was to point his index finger at the boy oh-so-politely and yell with the most indignant expression he could master plastered on his face:

'What is _he_ doing here, Rangiku?'

Hitsugaya chose to ignore him for now as he casually dropped his skateboard on the ground, jumped on it and with his hands in his pockets rode slowly to the stage, while looking around the place. He was wearing an unzipped white and blue jacket with a large black dragon on the back over a T-shirt with gradating from the collar to the brim shades of blue. He had a pair of simple gray trainers on and dark jeans, tackled to his slim waist by a black belt.

With that outfit the usual mysterious cap didn't look all that awkward on his head. It actually looked exactly in place, as though it was added on purpose to complete his look.

Humming when he finally reached his destination, he halted and brought his transport up by abruptly stepping on the edge. Under the brim of his hat he eyed the band's members one by one, gaze locking on the tall and rather irritated red-head male.

'Do you have something to ask me?' Hitsugaya said, raising a brow sedately. Renji snorted.

'Hell I do! What are you doing here?'

'Well…' the boy genius began slowly 'I've been asking myself that all the way to this place. How thoughtful of me, don't you think?' the edge of his thin pale lips curved slightly, forming a small amused smile 'I suggest we ask Matsumoto about that. I assume she's more aware of the answer, considering she is the one to whom the brilliant idea of my presence here belongs.'

Matsumoto grinned.

'Yup! Guilty!' she giggled, then gestured to him to approach 'Come here on the stage, Toushi-…'

'_Hitsugaya_.' He corrected, scowl deepening.

'What you said. Come, come!'

As Hitsugaya rolled his eyes with annoyance and started to make his way to the small steps leading to the stage before the band member's big and confused eyes, Renji used the moment to grab Matsumoto's arm and drag her to a side for a chat that in his opinion they very much needed to have.

'What is it?' Matsumoto questioned, blinking a few times as she saw the expression written over her friend's face, his tightly pursed lips, narrowed eyes and tensed shoulders. Renji took a deep breath in - an obvious and very unsuccessful attempt to cool himself down, while she, on the other hand, bit her lower lip with worry and decided to be useful by patting his shoulder soothingly.

'It's ok, tell me what it is.' She said, waiting for him to recover from whatever kind of paroxysm he was having.

Pause.

He gave her a long, accusing look. Then:

'Have you gone mad!' Renji hissed, glancing in the boy's direction 'He can't be our lead singer! Tell me you don't intend on making him that! No one has EVER heard him sing, he's weird, rude and cold! Even if he CAN sing, which I highly doubt, he doesn't have the feeling for it! I mean, how can a person like him be able to create music, to create art! Art is of giving away your soul and heart! He has no heart at all! And I'm not sure about the soul either!'

Matsumoto felt all trace of cheerfulness and worry leave her face, replaced by cold determination and a hint of irritation as she placed her hands on her hips and frowned.

'You are wrong.' She announced, though not raising her voice even the slightest bit. Renji rolled his eyes.

'Oh, really? And how exactly am I wrong, hm?' he gestured towards Hitsugaya 'Goddammit, Rangiku, take a look at that boy! There's something VERY wrong with him! I've never, ever in my life met somebody with a face like his! Face expressing solely NOTHING! No feelings! Zero!' he shook his head 'What the hell made you call him here anyway?'

Matsumoto pursed her lips for a moment before replying dryly:

'His voice, Renji.'

Her answer was greeted with complete silence from the male red-head as he stared with both mouth and eyes wide opened at her. His voice? Hitsugaya Toushiro's _voice_? The boy who doesn't sing? _HIS_ voice?

'God help us, Rangiku has gone out of her mind!' Renji whispered with horror. Matsumoto just rolled her eyes with annoyance:

'Please, calm down, Renji. Believe me, you'll see that this is worth it.' She assure him with a final pat on the shoulder 'He's our only hope to succeed. So, I beg you, do not upset him, and don't do anything that may in any way make him leave.' She paused, then added 'Remember… It's not _us_, choosing _him _as our lead singer, it's _him_, choosing _us_ as his band. So don't do anything stupid.'

With that she turned on her heel and started to make her way towards Hitsugaya.

'Hey, there!' Matsumoto greeted, making the boy, who was currently examining the instruments lined down the wall, look up 'Glad you came!'

Hitsugaya stared at her for a couple of moments from under the brim of his cap, then lowered his eyes:

'I'm already sorry.' He admitted softly 'It's not my place here. I should leave. I don't understand why I came here in the first place anyway.' He shook his head slightly and something that Matsumoto assumed was the sound of an almost imperceptible sigh left his lips.

'Why are you saying this?' she asked and he looked up once again to meet her pale blue eyes with his piercing jade orbs.

'It's just not… who I am anymore.' He whispered. Matsumoto wanted to object immediately, but found herself incapable of doing so. She had lost her voice for a couple of moments, drawn yet again in those two oceans of green and blue that made her lose the traces of her thoughts. There was just _something_ inside the boy's eyes... something she could not quite put her finger on yet - a strange, half-hidden emotion that sucked the breath out of her lungs and created an invisible but painful icy-cold clasp around her throat.

She swallowed with some difficulty. Why and how was he doing this to her? She couldn't tell but, _God,_ was it both fascinating and scaring her.

'Don't be like that.' she finally managed, her voice cracking 'I heard you singing. And it was beautiful. Please, don't be so cruel as to take this beauty away from the world.'

_Oh, God… Now he'll think I'm a moron…_

There was a short pause, then Hitsugaya's lips curved into a smirk.

'Oh, so I'm egoistic now?' he asked, raising a brow. For her surprise, she realized the ice clasp around her throat had suddenly melted, heated by the small amused sparks that blazed up in his orbs. And for her own utter shock… She giggled.

…_What __**is**__ this boy? What is he doing to me?_

'Come on' she said, smiling warmly at him 'Let me introduce you to the crew.'

Before he could protest, she had grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him towards Rukia.

'Now' Matsumoto began, neglecting the way the boy visibly shrank in her hands 'This here is Kuchiki Rukia and she's our bass guitarist.'

The black-haired girl nodded to him and a small smile formed on her lips.

'H-hi.' Hitsugaya managed to utter before he was dragged towards Ichigo.

'This' Matsumoto continued, grinning 'Is our very much talented drummer, Kurosaki Ichigo. He also knows where you can find best junk food at best prices in the city, in case you are interested.'

The strawberry smirked, nodding just like Rukia, although this looked more like a nod to himself for being so gifted as to possess the glorious knowledge of junk food.

'Orihime over there' Rangiku waved to the tall busty girl at the back 'plays the keyboard. And she's awesome at it.'

'Ok.' Hitsugaya agreed, not really sure what else to say.

'And' Rangiku spun the boy around 'that there is our rhythm guitarist Abarai Renji. He's skeptic and susceptible and merry stuff like that… but don't mind him.'

Hitsugaya couldn't help it but smile a little at the comment and at the grumpy grimace the red-head made. And here they said that he was peevish. Hah, that guy could scare off a thunder-cloud with that face! Or maybe attract one. Toushiro wasn't sure which option was more possible…

…But he didn't have much time to muse over it, for he was quickly pulled in the middle of the stage by the over-enthusiastic Matsumoto.

'So...' she began, biting her lower lip hopefully and putting her hands behind her back in an innocent manner 'Will you now sing for us? Please?'

Hitsugaya looked at the other members of the band. Renji was glaring at him, but that was to be expected, considering Matsumoto's blunt words and the way the red-head had reacted when Toushiro had arrived. The other three, Ichigo, Rukia and Orihime, were staring at him with curiosity. Not that he could judge them. He would've probably reacted the same way if he was in their shoes. After all…

…Hitsugaya Toushiro had never sang in public before. Was he actually going to do it now?

Wouldn't _that_ be something?

Hitsugaya smirked.

'A rhythm guitar please?' he asked, raising his brow expectantly.

Matsumoto cracked a big cheerful grin and before anyone could say something, she had literally teleported herself in front of Renji, snatched the guitar from him, neglecting his shouts of protest in the process, and teleported back in front of Hitsugaya.

'Here!' she chirped, shoving the instrument in his hand. Hitsugaya blinked with a bit of surprise.

'Don't be so enthusiastic.' He murmured lowering the brim of his hat. She managed, however, to spot the small blush that crept up his pale cheeks.

'You can really play the guitar?' Rukia asked as she made her way to Matsumoto 'Because if you do, we need a solo guitarist, now that Gin's gone.'

'Yeah.' Hitsugaya nodded 'I can professionally play both the guitar and the piano and I know a little about playing the violin.'

Matsumoto and Kuchiki exchanged surprised glances.

'Wow!' Rukia exclaimed 'Aren't you a useful brat…'

Hitsugaya immediatelly bristled at the statement, eyes darkening with a murderous glare.

'I'm not a brat!' he hissed, baring his perfect white teeth at her like an irritated little beast. Sensing the danger, Matsumoto nudged her friend warningly.

'Uh, yeah, sorry.' Rukia mumbled 'Will you sing now?'

Hitsugaya looked down at the guitar in his hands, flexing his fingers thoughtfully.

_Why am I agreeing to do this…?_

He closed his eyes.

_It will never work out…_

_Dammit... I can't do this… It'll end the same way…_

_What's wrong with me? Why am I risking suffering the same story twice…?_

His eye-lids rose slowly.

_Because I love the music._

_And I love playing it._

_And I love singing._

His jade eyes locked on Matsumoto.

_And this girl…_

The edge of his lips flinched.

_It's always about a girl…_

His fingers traced the strings of the guitar. Then experimentally pulled on one or two of them. He took a deep breath in.

_Here it goes…_

The simple melody the guitar created filled the air, Hitsugaya's fingers performing their graceful dance along the instrument's wooden body. Jade orbs were focused on his pale hands and the listeners couldn't see what expression had taken place upon his face because of the shade the cap was throwing. They weren't able to see how the usual scowl vanished, how his features relaxed and eyes softened. But they did feel it. They did feel it afterward, feel the change in the boy, feel the power of the artist as he opened his mouth and let the song flow.

_**Golden days  
Night was play  
Pain was all a world away  
We went to school  
We learned the rules  
We trusted all they had to say**_

**_Then life took a turn  
We all had to learn  
And we cant go back again_**

Hitsugaya looked up to meet Matsumoto's eyes a moment before starting to sing the chorus.

**_And my heart is breaking  
Just for you  
Just for you  
And my arms are open  
Just for you  
Just for you  
Just for you_**

'Amazing…' Rukia whispered. Matsumoto didn't reply, she didn't need to. Instead, she sighed softly, realizing with a sort of relief that she was beginning to lose herself in the song again._ I'm enchanted_...

They all were.

They were all staring in awe at the boy, sinking, _yes_, they were _drowning_, but oh, it was wonderful, it was ravishing, incredible…

Matsumoto let a dreamily smile slowly form on her lips as she forgot the gravity and the solid earth under her feet, and the material of the clothes against her skin, and the tiredness that had been haunting her all day... all of it.

The feeling was even better than she remembered. The feeling of being completely devoured by something another person created. Devoured by a miracle.

Hitsugaya Toushiro was a miracle. A _goddamn_ prodigy he was, yes. And he simply couldn't be seen as anything less.

_**God was God  
And dreams were dreams  
Life was all pecan ice cream  
Truth was true  
And lies were lies  
And we thought love would never die  
But the world moved on  
My illusions gone  
And I don't know who to blame**_

**_And my heart is breaking  
Just for you  
Just for you  
And my arms are open  
Just for you  
Just for you  
And these tears I'm crying are for you  
Just for you  
Just for you_**

And they weren't the only ones drawn into the song. Hitsugaya was too.

He had thrown his head back, eyes closed and lips forming a smile Matsumoto had never seen on his face before. A pleasant, innocent, beautiful smile…

Hitsugaya Toushiro, the impassive, rude, cold boy with no desire to do anything whatsoever, was actually _enjoying_ himself.

**_I'm looking for protection  
Give me shelter from the storm  
I just hope this light inside me  
Keeps me strong_**

'Magical…' Orihime found herself murmuring, her lips barely moving. Next to her, clutching the drumsticks and with his mouth dangerously agape, Ichigo nodded. _**  
**_

'He can't be real.' Renji found himself uttering, as he stepped toward Hitsugaya, walking as if in a dream.

_**And my heart is breaking  
Just for you  
Just for you  
And my arms they're open  
Just for you  
Just for you  
And these tears I'm crying are for you  
Just for you  
Just for you**_

**_Just for you  
Oh my heart is breaking  
And my arms are open  
Oh these tears I'm crying are just for you_**

**_Oh yeah_**

Hitsugaya let himself play a little with the last few words and notes, twisting them in a complicated manner, demonstrating his incredible voice to his small audience. And when he finished, when the pale, heavily lashed eye-lids were finally lifted to reveal two languishing oceans of teal, the few people who had been listening to him burst into applauds and cheerings, pathetically trying in their own way to express what they had felt during those short four minutes an a half.

'That was… it was…'

'Dammit, kid, why haven't you sung during music classes before!'

'I'm stunned, I've never heard something like this. You are incredible!'

'You have to be our lead singer! That was an AMAZING voice you just demonstrated!'

Hitsugaya felt the blood rush into his face and hurried to lower the brim of his hat to hide it. He heard himself murmured a quiet thanks and hand back the guitar to the smitten Renji.

'I… uh… I'm glad you liked it.' the boy said finally, scratching the back of his neck. He glanced in Matsumoto's direction and saw her nod to him encouragingly, summoning a timid half-smile on his own lips.

'Like it?' Renji shouted, both hands suddenly landing on Hitsugaya's shoulders and making him jump 'We LOVED it! You're so IN, kid, that singing can't be wasted like that.' at that point he began shaking the smaller boy 'YOU HEAR ME! YOU ARE FROM NOW ON PART OF THIS BAND!'

'Uh huh.' Hitsugaya managed to utter as he placed a hand on top of his cap so it wouldn't fall off due to the shaking 'I never doubt I'll be in. Will you now please let go?'

Renji pulled his hands away and stepped back, slightly ashamed of his somewhat brutal actions and scratched the back of his neck.

'Sorry 'bout that.' he murmured 'I overreacted.'

'It's ok…' Hitsugaya nodded to the five, then walked pass them and to the edge of the stage and sat down so his legs were hanging freely in the air. He raised his fingertips to his face and silently started to blow cold air on them. They had turned a soft shade of red and were beginning to swell slowly.

'Does it hurt?' he heard a voice as Matsumoto took a seat next to him. Hitsugaya looked at her, then back at his fingers and flexed them slightly.

'I haven't played for a long, long time…' he murmured almost guiltily. She smiled warmly at him.

'Don't worry. You'll get used to it. Little by little. We won't push you.' She hesitated for a moment, then reached and gently took one of his hands by the wrist to examine the damage.

'Don't touch them, they are throbbing!' Hitsugaya warned, barely containing himself from raising his voice to make a point. She glanced at him with an amused smile.

'Sometimes you sound so childish.' She snickered, shaking her head, before once again focusing on his hand. Slowly, she positioned her palm over his, gently tracing his damaged fingers with her own in soothing, featherlike touches. Hitsugaya's throat and lips went dry and he felt a small shiver run down his spine.

'What are you doing?' he whispered and before she could reply, pulled his hand away and jumped off the stage.

'S-sorry.' Matsumoto mumbled, looking down both ashamed and shocked of her own actions.

'I-it's ok. I…'

'Hey, Toushiro!' Renji's voice cut him off as the red-head himself joined the boy on the floor off the stage 'I've been always wondering…'

'What?' Hitsugaya asked, mildly alarmed by the smirk that had spread across the older teen's face. What kind of strange conversation between those four had he missed out on, he wondered?

'What's under that hat?' Renji finished and before Hitsugaya could do anything, reached out and pulled the cap off.

* * *

**_A/N: the song's name is Just For You by Lionel Richie and I strongly recommend you listen to it. It's a really powerful song. Really powerful! Now review! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!MUCH DRAMA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, GUYS!_**


	5. Heartbroken

**_A/N: Yeah... lazy me... Sorry bout that. And review, please!_**

**_Ah, and one more thing. Me and two colleagues and friends from my country, known as Five seas and TheArchon have started a Bleach fiction, Bleach II Arrancar. They are both way more talanted than I am and if you like my writing, you're gonna LOVE theirs, so check out the story if you like. :)_**

Flashback:

_'It's not about him!' she shouted, making Hitsugaya let out a low growl and narrow his eyes at the girl. He could feel his usual composure slipping away from him. Why couldn't she see what was happening…? Or did she refuse to see…? Where was the person he had respected and adored… and loved for all this time? Where was she, and how could someone, in his opinion, a mere stranger, take her away so easily?_

_'Of course it's about him!' He shouted back, throwing his hands in the air 'He shows up out of nowhere and suddenly you reach to the conclusion that we can't continue doing what we do best… Come ON, Momo, we've got so far…!'_

_'We've got nowhere!' she insisted, pursing her lips 'Look at where successful bands get, look at…'_

_'We've barely started, you can't expect us to be on the same level as those musicians you hear about on radio and see on TV!'_

_'Yes, I can! If you just think about it...'_

_'We have a future! Why do you let some… stranger change your mind completely!'_

_'Aizen-san isn't a stranger. He's a manager. He knows what he's doing!'_

_Hitsugaya rolled his eyes heavenwards._

_'Why, yes of course…' he murmured with gall 'I forgot he's the smartest, noblest and most perfect man in the whole world, right, Hinamori?'_

_The girl's eyes also narrowed, her soft, gentle features twisting into an ugly grimace. Her small hands balled into fists and her body shook with anger._

_'How dare you…'_

_'What? Tell the truth?' Hitsugaya shook his head slowly 'What is this Aizen for you anyway? Prince Charming on the white horse? And do you see yourself as the gorgeous princess who is supposed to do whatever her glorious prince wants her to? Gods, Momo! Can't you see he's __**using**__ you!'_

_'SHUT UP, YOU FOOL! DON'T YOU GET IT!' she yelled right into the boy's face, making him back away a little 'IT'S NOT THE OTHER GUYS' FAULT THE BAND ISN'T AT THE LEVEL IT SHOULD BE! IT'S YOU! GODDAMIT, LOOK AT YOURSELF! LOOK AT YOUR FACE, LOOK AT YOUR EYES, YOUR HEIGHT, YOU HAIR! HOW MANY PEOPLE OF YOUR AGE HAVE YOU SEEN, HAVING HAIR WHITE AS SNOW? SNOW! YOU-YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAK OF NATURE! YOUR… ABNORMALILY IS DOING US NO GOOD! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A PRODIGY TO GET WHAT I MEAN! EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOUR HAIR IS NEITHER DYED, NOR A WIG AND IT'S FREAKING PEOPLE OUR! SO JUST STOP GETTING IN THE WAY OF OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS AND LEAVE THE BAND! YOU'RE JUST PULLING US DOWN!'_

_Hitsugaya stood there, eyes widened and lips slightly parted, unable to create any sensible noise as his mind desperately attempted to comprehend what he had just heard._

_**Is this the truth..?**_

_His throat went dry._

_**Am **__**I **__**not letting them move forward?**_

_**Because of…**_

_**…the way I look?**_

_'And… one more thing… ' she continued, this time softly, yet _so_ coldly it made the boy want to make her yell at him again 'I've heard people talking… About you having some feelings for me. And though I thought you couldn't possible be so stupid to actually dare even imagine something like that… I still want to know. Is it true?'_

_Hitsugaya couldn't answer, couldn't move, couldn't think. He suddenly found breathing harder than it was supposed to be. This couldn't be happening. This was… too much. Just too much! It felt as if his insides had been suddenly frozen, the blood in his veins had stopped running, as if a demon hand had grasped his heart, sinking claws into it and treating to tear it away._

_Why was she doing this to him...?_

_**Oh, Gods…**_

_Hinamori pursed her lips, looking away._

_'I see. I think you should leave now…'_

_'I… I didn't…' he began softly, but was cut off when she inhaled sharply and gestured to the front door._

_'Just leave.' she said. Hitsugaya hesitated for a moment, the confusion and the shock still fresh in his mind. She had never spoken to him like this. She had never looked at him with such disgust and scorn. She had never blamed him for anything, let alone something like this… But Hinamori was too, the only person he knew that could, with one such behavior make him feel so miserable, so cold, so…_

_**Pathetic…**_

_He swallowed with difficulty, trying to meet her eyes, trying to think of something to say, something to fix everything…_

_But he couldn't._

_The brilliant mind of his was betraying him. How ironical. P__rodigious as he was, he couldn't put it to use in, probably, the only time he truly needed it..._

_...when his world was falling apart before his very eyes. When he was losing the only things he had ever loved... Hinamori and his career..._

_She had grown plenty of impatient by now, eyes darkening with every passing second that he didn't move, or speak._

_"Momo..." he tried but she pulled away, deliberately increasing the distance between them  
_

_'You don't belong here! I don't want to see you again!' she paused and then added, voice low and threatening. "Ever."  
_

_And this was it. The final blow._

_It was what actually finished him off. What gave the demon hand the strength to rip the beating heart out of his chest, what demolished any bits of hope that were left, what cut into his very soul and made him wish he was never born..._

_It was over. It was all over. All he had... all he had been fighting for... it was all... _

**_...Gone..._**

_He blinked slowly, then whispered the girl goodbye and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. And as he found himself on the street, he discovered he didn't know what he was going to do next. His body felt heavy, his glossy eyes were staring blankly into the space, breathing felt useless and all he wanted was to just disappear…_

_Vanish..._

_Forget..._

_Why did it hurt so much…? Why did her words hurt so much? Why did they **matter** so much?_

_Heartbroken…_

_**Fool! I should've known better. I should've seen it coming…**_

_**Pathetic…**_

_**I don't deserve her… She can do better than me…**_

_**Did I truly believe that we could actually…?**_

_**What was I thinking…? How could I be so blind…? How could I be so stupid…?**_

_**Gods…**_

_He squeezed his eyes shut._

_**I can't stay here any longer…**_

_And suddenly, he found himself running. Sprinting down the street. Pushing people away, passing startled couples, rounding corners, jumping over fences and benches. He heard nothing. He saw nothing. He just ran. Ran away from the world, ran away from Her._

_The next couple of minutes felt like a dream. He entered his empty house, grabbed a knife from the kitchen, stood in front of the nearest mirror and clenched his fist around a sheaf of soft white locks. He didn't hesitate. The blade was sharp and it did the job easily. It took him a minute or two, no more…_

_…Next thing he knew, he was standing in the middle of a small pool of snowy hair…_

_One phone call to his uncle later and a few hours he found himself on the station in another town, carrying a small sack and a large cap on his lowered head. Ukitake met him there, punctual as always and with a worried expression on his face._

End of Flashback.

Everybody went quiet.

Hitsugaya was staring at Renji with the deer-in-headlights look on his face. A waterfall of soft white locks had spilled out of the cap, falling messily around and on his face and leaving a pair of dangerously widened jade eyes to stare at the red-head from underneath the straggling hair.

'Oh, man… ' Abarai mumbled, his mouth gaping at the sight.

'What the…?' Ichigo whispered, face frozen with shock.

'Hitsugaya…'

'Is this really your…?'

Anger filled Hitsugaya's eyes, his hands clenching into fists and shoulders raising.

'WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT?' He yelled, grabbing the cap from his hands. Before anyone could stop him, he had jumped on his skateboard and disappeared from the nightclub.

There was silence for a second. Then came the second yell, this time from Matsumoto's direction.

'RENJI, YOU IDIOT, LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST DID!'

And then, without stopping for even a second to think, she ran after the boy.


	6. Haircut

Angry. Disappointed. Humiliated. Betrayed.

A mix of unpleasantly engulfing feelings that Hitsugaya tried hard to push away as he skated down the street to his home as fast as he could, rounding confused walkers and successfully attracting unwanted attention as his excessively long snow white locks wound around his slender neck. Not used to the tickling sensation his hair crated as it made contact with his flesh, the boy found himself hating it even more.

_That was to be expected, wasn't it, you idiot? WASN'T IT? You knew it was going to happen. You knew they wouldn't respect your privacy. You knew they'd discover you're a freak. You knew you would end up running away again…_

_…running away from yourself again…_

_What a pathetic person you are…_

His frown deepened, fists clenched and body tensed with strain.

He had let it happen once more... he had let his guard down because of a girl…

This time the mistake was even greater. He had trusted someone he had barely known, just because some weird, cursed sense told him they had something in common…

_What a joke…_

How could anyone have ANYTHING in common with him?

'HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING, YOU LITTLE FREAK!' some man yelled at him as he shot past him, almost crushing the stranger's feet. Looking back over his shoulder, Hitsugaya glared daggers at the offender and was about to shout something back but quickly gave up and just continued skating down the street.

* * *

Matsumoto was losing him. He was too fast for her to manage and catch up with him and as she continued chasing him, making useless attempt to draw his attention to her by occasionally shouting his name between hasty breaths, she realized with horror the distance between them was only increasing. Soon the only thing that kept her from completely losing him in the crowds was his bright snowy-white hair and the fact people kept on stopping to stare at him…

Well, she wouldn't blame them…

True was, she was shocked just as they were. How couldn't one possibly be shocked, when a boy had the looks of Hitsugaya? Not only did the kid possess unnaturally coloured jade eyes, but also skin and hair as white as freshly fallen snow.

No, his hair couldn't be dyed. It was very easy to see that. After all… How could the depravity of the artificial products create colour so impossibly pure?

Simple:it couldn't.

'HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING, YOU LITTLE FREAK!' someone yelled and her heart skipped a beat. How could people be so cruel? Why didn't they see that in his difference he was better then they were? That the fact he was unique made him something more, not something less? Or were they jealous, afraid of what he represented? And being the pathetic creature the human being is, they tried, consciously or unconsciously to suffocate and kill the perfection and turn it into the imperfection they were themselves?

Unlike them however…

She could see.

She could feel.

She could understand.

And she was not going to be another person who would let him down because of who he was.

Matsumoto frowned and started running harder, half nudging her way through the crowd and completely dismissing the people's indignant shouts as she did so. She needed to catch up with him at all cost. And that was exactly what she was going to do…

* * *

It took Hitsugaya just several minutes before he finally reached his house and stopped in front of it, stepping on the edge of his skateboard to bring it up. This was one of the little places where he felt safe. Where he felt wanted and welcomed. The quiet warm familiar atmosphere, so much different from the world outside made him uneasy every time he had to go to school and relieved when he came back.

Today, for the first time for quite awhile, it had been different.

Today he had left the house with anticipation, with a hint of hidden excitement and just a tiny bit of dulled worry.

And now he was coming back, regretting his actions and blaming himself for his utter stupidity and naivety.

Hitsugaya sighed and dropped his cap as he walked along the deserted corridor to the bathroom. There he stood in front of the mirror, gazing intensely in his twin in the world beyond the looking-glass, staring in his own piercing jade eyes and observing the reflection longer than he had in a months. The truth was he simply preferred not to look at himself. He didn't like wasting time on something that couldn't be fixed. Cracked porcelain could never be new again. And people who were different just couldn't be turned normal no matter what they did, no matter how hard they tried…

He let his hand slowly run through the messy mane of white hair and sighed. He had attempted dyeing it in a more… acceptable colour several times, but it just wouldn't stain. It was simply too white. The second option of shaving himself to the point of having nothing on his head turned out to be too hard for him. He did hate the fact people saw him as a freak. But he also knew he couldn't bring himself to walk around bald and shiny to the world. And that was that.

So he chose the most cowardly option – hiding. Ever since came here he was like this – going everywhere with a cap on, hardly looking himself in the mirror and letting his hair down only when he was showering or going to bed. Hitsugaya hid not only his extraordinary looks, he began living in the shadows, didn't talk a lot, didn't befriend anyone… didn't trust anyone. He spent his time reading, skating in deserted places, listening to his favorite i-pod and watching musical TV shows. He seemed to grow colder and more distant to everything and everybody with every passing day. He didn't need the cruelty of the real world, he had created his own. It was the only place he could survive, the only place, although lonely, where he felt accepted. It wasn't a happy existence, but it was an existence nevertheless. After all, people dealt with their lives as they could. That _was_ the only way _he_ could. And even though his uncle didn't like it, he didn't say anything. He let the boy be, understanding that any sort of objection would be simply ignored.

'When did you grow up, anyway?' Hitsugaya asked slowly, as he twirled a lock around his index finger and sighed again.

He couldn't believe his hair was so long. He hadn't noticed when it had become that way, since he didn't look himself in the mirror a lot. And now…

He raised both brows and exhaled slowly…

NOOOW he had to cut it again, as short as possible, just as he had done before leaving that damned town and moving here.

It took Hitsugaya several minutes to fetch a pair of nice scissors for the job. When he did, he found himself in front of the mirror again, staring at his reflection with little more than a wonder.

What was he going to do after he cut his hair anyway? It wasn't going to change much… It wouldn't be long before the whole school knew he was a freak and thus they wouldn't leave him alone. He knew they wouldn't. That was just the way people were… This was going to be the beginning of the great era of everybody shouting insults at him and calling him 'freak' for every little goddamn reason!

His hand that wasn't holding the scissors clenched into a fist and he pursed his lips.

There was no escape of this! There was no escape of this LIVING HELL humans created for every person that wasn't the same as them! He was always going to be highlighted, pointed fingers at, called names, laughed at. That was the way things were! WHY THE HELL COULDN'T HE GET USED TO IT! WHY, WHEN HIS MIND _KNEW_ HE HAD NO OPTION BUT DEALING WITH ALL THAT EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!

His reason said there was no chance things would change.

But his heart, his stupid, otiose heart… it told otherwise…

It held hope.

Such a useless and ridiculous feeling…

He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, staying like that for a moment, attempting to clear his mind. Those thoughts were leading him nowhere anyway. He couldn't change anything just by repining inwardly. The bad thing about being different was **also** contained in the fact there was no one like him to stay by his side and support him against the crowd of hateful 'normal' people. He was all alone. Nobody to help him up when he fell, nobody to protect him when he needed protection, nobody to share his anger and sadness with…

Well, of course there was his uncle but… He couldn't do much, could he? Provide home and food and ask him how his day had gone. Hitsugaya would always say it had gone fine. And in return, Ukitake would smile sadly and nod. Their conversations were casual and meaningless, that's how Toushiro wanted them to be and he made sure nothing would change. It was simpler that way… Easier.

He wanted to make things easier…

Although deep inside, he knew he couldn't.

Slowly, Hitsugaya once more gazed at the looking-glass, this time more determined. His hand with the scissors raised and with the other one he took a sheaf of white locks.

'Here goes…' he whispered, nearing the metal object to the wanted area.

'What do you plan on doing with that thing?' a voice suddenly exclaimed and Hitsugaya turned around abruptly, eyes widening at the sight of Matsumoto staying at the door.

'What are you doing here?' He asked back, lowering the scissors and glaring at her 'How did you get in?'

Matsumoto rolled her eyes.

'First question: I followed you. And the second…' she pointed her thumb over her shoulder 'The door was opened.'

'Oh…' Hitsugaya replied softly, eyelids lowering 'What do you want anyway?'

'To talk.'

'There's nothing to talk about.'

'Oh, but I think there is.'

'You're wrong, now _please _leave.'

'I'm not gonna leave until you hear me out.'

Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed dangerously.

'I warn you…' he began 'If you don't leave willingly, I'll…'

'You'll what?' Matsumoto cut him off, amused smile spreading on her face 'Calm down, singer boy. I haven't come to argue. I came to tell you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are.'

Hitsugaya let out a low snort.

'Right. Thank you. Please, leave.'

'Nope.' Matsumoto shook her head and stepped forward 'I'm not planning to. You need to be convinced. And for starts, give me those scissors, I'm the one who's gonna give you a haircut.'

* * *

Few minutes later, Hitsugaya found himself settled on a chair in front of the very same mirror, while Matsumoto walked around him, cutting small amount of white hair here and there. He couldn't believe he had agreed to let her do this to him so easily! He wasn't A BABY he could handle himself perfectly fine! He didn't need her running her hands all over his scalp, hair and neck. It was sooo… **soooo**… _intimate_.

A shiver ran down his spine as her fingertips accidentally brushed against the area just behind his ear.

_Not cool, man! Not cool!_

'Why did you run away?' Matsumoto asked calmly, as she combed his hair.

'Are you blind or what?' Hitsugaya growled softly, eyes glued to the floor as he did so 'Look at me. Look at the way I look. That's your answer.'

Matsumoto let out a small chuckle and shook her head.

'Believe me, there's nothing wrong with your appearance!'

'Alright, so you really _are_ blind.'

'Or maybe I am the one who can really see and you have become incapable of doing so just as everybody else out there.'

Hitsugaya snorted.

'What are striving for anyway? Just spit it out already.'

She let her fingers wander a little too long round his neck, a small smile forming slowly on her lips as she noticed the way his body tensed and he shivered under her ever so light touch.

'Well, I want you… To see what you represent. What qualities you have. What talents you posses that no one else does. And understand that no eye and hair color can change that…'

'It doesn't matter what I think. People will still have the same opinion about me.' Hitsugaya replied, looking down at his slender white fingers 'I can be nothing but despised in this world.'

'Well, that's not true, now is it?' Matsumoto placed her hands on his shoulders and squeezed them slightly 'People can be convinced they are wrong. _You_ can convince them.'

'Those are fairy tales. It doesn't happen in the real life.' Hitsugaya objected softly.

'Then what am I? Why am I convinced? Is there something wrong with me for thinking you're worth more than hiding and loneliness?'

'Maybe you're an exception, but…'

'I'm not an exception. I just managed to see what you're like. To hear you sing. That's the _only_ thing that differs me from everybody else and you know it.' When he didn't say anything, she took the scissors again and continued her job along with the talking 'You know what the problem is? The problem is your hesitation.'

'That's not true.'

'It is too. You're scared. Of showing yourself to the people, of opening up… of…letting someone near you… ' she paused for a moment, frowning as she picked her next words carefully '…of being hurt…'

Hitsugaya sighed and let his eyes slowly close.

'You don't understand…' he whispered 'I… I can't go though the same thing again…'

'What do you mean?'

'I just won't be able to bear it… The betrayal, the disappointment… That way she looked at me back then… she was so _disgusted_…'

Matsumoto frowned, then walked in front of the boy, kneeling on his eye-level and placed her hands on both sides of his face.

'Look at me.' She ordered softly. Hitsugaya obeyed, slowly lifting his pale eye-lids to look at her with glossy jade orbs 'I don't know… who 'she' is. I don't know what she told you or what she did to you. But listen to me and listen to me well. _She was wrong_.'

'I…'

'She was wrong, ignorant and stupid not to see what a person you are. There will always be people like her out there, people who'd upset you, and hurt you, and betray you… People whose only aim is to ruin your life and happiness and destroy everything you have build up. You must remember… not to EVER let them get to you. Because a heart like yours…' Matsumoto put her hand on his chest above the beating organ without ever breaking the eye contact 'deserves one hell of a lot more than to be bruised by someone as meaningless as them. Don't you ever forget that.'

Hitsugaya blinked rapidly a few times, eyes still locked on hers, then a small uncertain smile slowly formed on his lips and he nodded.

'Thank you…' he whispered. Matsumoto returned the smile and stood up straight again.

'Your hair is done!' she announced. Hitsugaya gave her a quizzical look.

'What? That's all you cut?'

'Sure. Take a look.'

Hitsugaya glanced at her before standing up and gazing into the mirror. His eyes slightly widened.

'Not bad, ne?' Matsumoto snickered, a large grin plastered on her face as she nodded to herself with satisfaction.

'Not bad at all...' Hitsugaya agreed, still wide-eyed as he stared at his new hairstyle. At the length Matsumoto had left his hair it had naturally formed spikes everywhere, aside from one single lock at the front which she had let longer and was currently hanging freely near his left cheekbone.

'So… we can throw that cap of your away now, can't we?' Matsumoto suggested, raising a brow. Hitsugaya turned around abruptly.

'W-what?'

'You're not gonna wear it anymore.' She decided 'No more hiding for you, my dear. And for starts, you're coming to the nightclub with me and the band tonight so you can see us in action… and take part in the fun as well.'

* * *

**_A/N: I love the way 'looking-glass' sounds. It's one of my favourite English words. I also like 'glitter', 'crimson' and 'shade'. _**

**_Anyway, back to the point... review, please?_**


	7. Before You Love Me

_**A/N: Ok, so I was at my grandma's till the 1st September and I didn't have any internet connection, so that should explain the delay. The song in this chapter is called Before You Love Me by Alsou and I suggest you listen to it instead of just reading the lyrics. Personally, I really like it, though it's not slow and touching as the 2 songs I suggested in previous chapters. Plus, I fixed my bad apostrophe habit. Ok, review please! And take care!**_

_I don't belong here… _Hitsugaya decided the moment he found himself inside the nightclub. An unwilling shiver ran down his spine as his eyes scanned the semi-dark hall, full with dozens and dozens of unfamiliar faces. Crowds had never been his thing - actually, during the years he had developed a very demanding tendency of avoiding those at all cost. At this moment, that same habit was practically tearing him from the inside, urging him to turn around and decamp as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, Matsumoto had obviously guessed that intention of his, for her hand held a firm grip on his slim shoulder, both for his and her reassurance.

Hitsugaya suppressed a weary sigh and let his eyes travel around the nightclub, scanning the quite alien atmosphere around him with a hint of apprehension in his teal orbs. There were just a few people sitting on the bar, he noticed and his lips twisted in a jeering manner. The rest were swaying their hips in the rhythm of the music on the dance floor, occasionally cheering and jumping. The small stage at the background was currently sinking into full darkness along with all the instruments and it as far as the boy could tell, hardly anyone noticed it.

A dull sense of worry crept inside the shorter student's body as a bothersome and very much unwanted thought popped inside his mind. Instantly, his head snapped up and he fixed his eyes on Matsumoto intently in what seemed to be a very decisive attempt to gauge her expression. Sensing his worry, the girl's own gaze moved from the dimmed stage and down at her companion, blue orbs brightening with understanding at the way he was contemplating her and she chuckled. His brows shot up at that but she quickly shook her head reassuringly and leaned down, so her mouth was next to his ear and he could hear her over the blasting techno music.

"Find yourself a place and pay attention. It's our turn to show you what we are made of."

With that she gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and started to make her way towards the small side staircase of the stage. The rest of the band were already standing there and waiting for her and as she approached, they all hurried to climb up and take their places beside their instruments. Seeing them take their positions, the DJ (who happened to be some bald dude, who was brandishing a weird wooden sword above his head) pressed a few buttons, making the sound of his music fade away, and turned to the crowd.

"HEY, DUDES AND CHICKS!" he shouted, earning an avalanche of cheers and catcalls "THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG AND OUR FRIENDS HERE CAME TO RRRROOOOCK THE STAGE! WHOAAA!"

With a small click of another button, the dark stage was illuminated and along with that another sound avalanche, this time louder, crashed down on the band and the quite not-so-used to it Toushiro who couldn't help it but wince. This was so endangering his hearing…

As the bald guy continued encouraging the crowd to be loud in honour of the band on the stage, Hitsugaya slowly started to make his way to the back of the hall and leaned against the wall there, effectively sinking into the shadows where he was hidden from curious eyes and yet could see everything perfectly fine.

On the stage, behind the all-too-energetic bald dude, who was STILL brandishing that wooden sword of his, Matsumoto and the rest of the band had gathered together, discussing something. After a few more moments they seemed to settle things up, nodded to themselves and took their places. Rukia and Orihime took a bit longer than the others, fixing the positions of two microphones in front of them.

The bald guy shouted one last "WELCOME THEM!" and amazingly quickly left, walking backwards and at the same time keenly applauding the band. It was quite amazing how he didn't trip down the small staircase in the process and Hitsugaya assumed the man had probably done it a great number of times by now.

Matsumoto stepped in front of the others with her own microphone in her hand, and bowed gracefully at the audience, a bright smile spreading across her face as she welcomed the people back. Hitsugaya noticed that despite the perfect composure she was demonstrating, her eyes were shifting nervously from one place to another all around the club as if she was searching for something. He raised a brow and his mouth twisting a bit to the left as his mind processed the information into an almost amusing conclusion._ Really, Matsumoto_? Was she _that_ afraid he'd run off the moment she let go of his shoulder?

He didn't have time to think it over as the stage exploded, the blast of music making the crowd's shouts seem pathetically soft in comparison. Hitsugaya shifted a bit against the wall, the loudness getting to him more than he had imagined, but he tried to push it aside, focusing instead on the show.

The few short moments of intro music quickly faded away and the attention was fast drawn to Matsumoto, whose rich voice filled the hall, enthralling the audience and making it become unexpectedly quiet.

_**Give a little sign  
Give a little something  
My mind's only set  
On one thing  
I need you in my life**_

_**I want it so bad  
Baby I can taste it  
Got a chance  
I don't wanna waste it  
I wanna do it right**_

She was moving with exquisite lightness on the stage, her body seeming completely weightless as if she was born to do this, to never leave the spotlight. Her tranquility, her confidence, and that young, yet so well-cultivated voice were so astonishing that Hitsugaya couldn't do anything but stand there as the almost forgotten feeling of admiration took over him.

_**Before you love me  
(Before you love me)  
There's something that  
Your heart should know  
(Yeah, your heart  
Should know)  
If you want me  
(Yeah if you want)  
It's body, sex,  
Mind and soul  
Yeah, I want it all**_

_Possessed_. Maybe that was the best word that could describe this strange state he was experiencing at that very moment. If he had had any doubts about Matsumoto's talent, they had been viciously murdered by now. Not only - what she did seemed to be _contagious. _It appeared to have some sort of an addicting effect on him and everybody that was listening to it.

She was not just **good** - _bloody hell, no!_ - he smiled smugly as he realized that there was no justified adjective for what she was. She was colour, a whole whirl of colour, and life, oh, she was life, she was energy, nature, goodness, _yes_, and care...

_**When you're near,  
My body starts shaking  
No fears, only  
Hearts breaking  
I'm about to lose control,  
Oh last night,  
When I saw you leaving  
My eyes couldn't  
Stop believing  
Do you have to go?**_

For the first time in so long, Hitsugaya found himself cheering (_cheering, dammit!_) along with the crowd as he unconsciously started to make his way towards the stage. He wasn't even thinking what he was doing - it was a subconscious, yet such a natural movement... this thirst to get more of her. More of what she did, more of what she could give.

_**Before you love me  
(Before you love me)  
There's something that  
Your heart should know  
(Yeah, your heart  
Should know)  
If you want me  
(Yeah if you want)  
It's body, sex,  
Mind and soul  
Yeah, I want it all**_

_**Before you love me  
(Before you love me)  
There's something that  
Your heart should know  
(Yeah, your heart  
Should know)  
If you want me, baby  
(Yeah, if you want)  
It's body, sex,  
Mind and soul  
Yeah, I want it all**_

_**(I want it all,  
I want it all,  
I want it all)  
I want it so bad  
Baby I can taste it  
(I want it all)**_

And what would it be like, he wondered, stopping dead on his track and just watching, listening, feeling...

_…What indeed…_

To let go of all his prejudices and just sing with her, share the stage, and the moment, and the emotion with her.

_**I won't take nothing less  
(Before you love me)  
Yeah  
(There's something  
Your heart should know  
Baby)  
Yes if you want me baby  
(Yeah baby, I want it all)  
It's body, sex  
Mind and soul  
Yeah, I want it all**_

_**Before you love me  
(Before you love me)  
There's something that  
Your heart should know  
(Yeah, your heart  
Should know)  
If you want me, baby  
(Yeah if you want)  
It's body, sex,  
Mind and soul  
Yeah, I want it all**_

_**Before you love me  
(Before you love me)  
There's something that  
Your heart should know  
(Yeah, your heart  
Should know)  
If you want me  
(Yeah if you want)  
It's body, sex,  
Mind and soul  
Yeah, I want it all**_

When the last sound faded away and the crowd burst into cheers and applauds, Hitsugaya just stood there, looking up at Rangiku, his usually unpleasantly piercing gaze now softer somehow. Not many had done to him what this girl had. Not many had managed to evoke admiration is heart and _none _had managed to get to him in a mere instant, like she had. There was just something… so, _so_ special about her… He couldn't put his finger on it just yet. But somehow, without a logical reason, he felt like he knew this person. And he knew he could trust her, despite the fact he had only spoken to her for the first time that same day.

Was that _normal_?

Rangiku bowed at the audience and her eyes glided along the unfamiliar faces until they locked on Toushiro's. Her eyebrows rose a bit as if she was asking for his opinion. Unwillingly, he felt his lips curving into a smile. It was a sincere, happy smile that showed his perfectly lined up white teeth. The reaction dragged with itself a familiar reaction as the girl grinned back at him and let out a soft giggle, pale blue orbs never leaving his.

Who cared if it was normal.

* * *

**The next day/after school/nearest café**

There was just no peace and quiet for him, was it…

"What's _this_?" Matsumoto shouted, brandishing the cap in front of his nose with that mommy-knows-best expression plastered on her face. Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched and he had to suppress the sudden urge to bite that brandishing hand off.

"It's… a cap." He informed her patiently "I thought… or at least I was hoping you knew these kind of stuff…"

Matsumoto rolled her eyes and smacked his head with the cap.

"I _know_ what cap is!"

Right. And now the _like-duuuh_ expression. Oh, Gods, maybe he should bite her head off, that way she wouldn't have any way of annoying him with those faces she was making.

"Then _why _are you asking?"

"_Because _" the Disappointed Expression "You were wearing it today."

Pause.

"What's your point again?" Hitsugaya asked, giving her a sincerely quizzical look that made her groan and smash the cap into the coffee table. He didn't react for a few second, though from the inside he did flinch when she oh-so-boldly hurt his property. He couldn't really fathom the reason why she seemed to be so annoyed with him. If true, he should've been the annoyed one. After all, it was _her_ who had stalked him and literally dragged him here after school so she could lecture him about his choice of accessories.

Which she had no right to do! Since she was _obviously_ not his mum!

"I thought we had a deal!" she pointed out, her lips just slightly pursing.

"What deal?"

"That you should stop _hiding_."

Another pause.

Hitsugaya sighed and ran a hand through his snow-white locks, comprehension finally reaching his mind.

"It isn't very easy, you know." He said and her eyes softened "I mean, one thing is to show yourself to people you don't know and who you might never meet, and showing up at school, where you go every day…"

Matsumoto exhaled slowly and smiled a little at him.

"You shouldn't worry so much." She said, her teeth slowly coming to a view as her smile grew "You're not alone. Get used to that. Stop wandering all by yourself during the breaks, come to talk with us, we are your friends now."

Hitsugaya's gaze hardened a bit and he looked away.

"I agreed to sing with you, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to hang out with me…"

Matsumoto gave him a quizzical look for a moment, her eyebrows artistically raised, then burst into laugh. Laugh, so rich and colorful, that it was practically pouring around him like a waterfall of sounds.

"Oh, silly!" she shook her head at him, still smiling and before he knew it, she had reached across the table and placed her hand over his "But I want to!"

Hitsugaya's lips parted slightly and his eyes went wide. The touch caught him completely off guard along with the warm, sincere look which came with it. He felt the blush quickly spread across his face and he looked away, trying to hide it. Of course, without much success…

Matsumoto's grin only widened as she realized how this simple action had affected him and she couldn't help it but laugh yet again, causing Toushiro to blush harder and withdraw his hand with quite an amusing sense of urgency in his movements. The girl eyed him as he hid his palms under the table and opened her mouth to say something, when Renji's voice cut her off.

"Oi! Rangiku, Toushiro, are you guys coming with us?"

As the red-head came into a view, Matsumoto stood up and grabbed Hitsugaya's hand, preparing to drag him for a second time that day.

"Sure! Let's go, Toushiro!"

And with that, the hat was thrown into the nearest bin and the boy was once more being forced after his energetic female companion.


	8. Heaven

"Have you done this before?"

"Does it look like I have?"

"Don't worry. It's pretty fun. Just a little bit scary till you get into the little thingy."

"I'll be fine."

"I know you will. I'm just saying…"

"Save it."

"Don't be so harsh. We came to have some fun."

"Correction: you came to have some fun and you dragged me along for some unknown reason."

"For which you'll thank me later."

"Silly girl."

Matsumoto just chuckled, glancing down at the crabby Hitsugaya next to her and resisting with great effort the urge to ruffle the temptingly soft tuft of white locks. Of course, she wouldn't dare do that. He was already plenty annoyed with her and she didn't want to mess up with his nerves more than his thin patience could handle. She didn't blame him for being that way, though. The first time she saw the karting racing path and the crazy amateur drivers who rushed pass her on crushing speed one after another, she remembered her eyes becoming wide and mouth agaping with awe. It was a lot different than just watching it on the small, safe TV screen and she knew for anyone who had never tried it, it looked pretty scary. That was until you finally got in the growling machine, pressed on the accelerator and let the sensation of utter freedom and power engulf you. She had yet to meet someone who would had tried it and remain indifferent to the feeling.

_...However_, before you got to that part, there were a number of bothersome thoughts messing with your head and urging you to get away from the dangerous vehicle. For anyone who was yet to discover the beauty of driving a kart, the whole experience seemed like an impossible, very dumb idea that could only make you look stupid. And yes, _crush_ into something mere seconds after starting off(unless you were driving on minor speed, which, again, would make you look stupid).

Confidence was always an issue when trying new things.

And being Hitsugaya Toushiro, The Grumpy King, wasn't making it any easier.

"Are you scared?" Matsumoto tried, making an innocent face. He slowly turned his head to give her the deadly glare, his eyebrow twitching.

"Okay." She agreed, smiling sheepishly "Pretend I didn't ask."

"I will." He enunciated dryly and his eyes drifted back to the racing path.

* * *

It took Hitsugaya a lap before he actually started to relax and enjoy the drive. Of course, the others were much better than he was, leading the machine much more smoothly and faster than him. That was to be expected. However, none of them said anything about his very ungraceful sudden hits on the accelerator and then just as sudden slowing downs. They just made sure to be more careful when they drove close to him. Especially on the turns, which he took with some difficulty in the beginning and continued having bad interactions with every once in awhile. Matsumoto waved at him each time they passed each other, encouraging him that he was doing great, at which he responded with mere roll of his eyes or something just as sweet and appreciating. He did barely manage without crushing into the barriers a couple of times, but much for his own surprise, he didn't take it as upsetting as he thought he would. He just let it go. He let go of all the intrusive thoughts and worries… and the uneasiness that followed him wherever he went. He let go and just enjoyed the ride. And the next ride as well. And the ride after that, too.

"Addicting, isn't it?" Ichigo pointed out as Hitsugaya got out of his car and removed the helmet, shaking his head to get rid of the hair that was getting in his eyes.

"Yeah." The boy agreed "Who would've known…"

A clear chuckle sounded behind his back as Matsumoto slowly walked into view, raising her hands and arching her back to get rid of few kinks there.

"I told you you were gonna love it." She grinned victoriously.

"Which doesn't change the fact you practically dragged me here against my will." He pointed out stubbornly. In respond she just chuckled again.

"Whatever you say." She agreed as she started to walk away "Let's go now. We've got stuff to discuss."

"Like what?" Hitsugaya asked, following her with a hint of reluctance.

"Well, the competition."

"What competition?"

"The one our band is going to participate in." Renji interfered "You don't really think this is all about making some noise in a nightclub, right?"

"You must've heard of _Everlasting Melody_, right?" Rukia added, raising a brow "It takes place after a few months. It's for amateur singers and bands and the winner…"

"…Get's to record an album." Hitsugaya cut her off "I know."

"Yup." Renji nodded "And cash. You get cash, too."

"But most importantly you get the chance to start a music career." Matsumoto said.

Hitsugaya paused for a moment, thinking.

"Have you tried before?" he asked, raising a brow. The others exchanged looks.

"Not really…" Ichigo admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

"And what about any other… smaller music competitions?"

"A few, yes. But they weren't very popular and the prizes were mostly cash." Orihime explained "We won one or two. The money were useful for buying instruments."

"The competition you want to participate in requires either a good new version of an old song or an entirely new song." Hitsugaya pointed out thoughtfully. "This is going to be hard. Is anyone of you any good in these kinds of stuff?"

Pause.

"Not really…" Ichigo said "Our former lead singer had some ideas…"

"Which we can't risk to use." Matsumoto cut him off a little bit more sharply than necessary, which made Hitsugaya eye her with a hint of suspicion in his aqua eyes "We have to either work together and think of something, or find someone who can do that for us."

"Right. And how are we going to do that?" Rukia snapped, folding her arms "It's not like we're stuffed with spare money to hire anyone."

"Well, what do you suggest? We go with G-… I mean Ichimaru's songs?" Matsumoto replied, annoyance and anger building up in her tone in an unfamiliar and rather scary manner "I'm not going to sing anything he wrote! He's a traitor, he-"

"Ok, ok, chill!" Orihime cut her off, sending a warning look in Rukia's direction "We're going to get the money and it'll be all ok, ok?"

"No need to." Hitsugaya stepped in, drawing all eyes at himself "I can write a song. Or do a remix or whatever."

* * *

"He's so young, you think he can actually do this?" Rukia murmured, shaking her head as she and Ichigo walked back home. They had just separated from the rest and they were on their own, heading to their houses which were conveniently close to one another. He had his hands shoved in his pockets when he looked thoughtfully up at the darkening sky and shrugged.

"Do you really put so much into his age?"

"You can't do well without any experience." She pointed out, raising a brow at him. He considered her words for a second, then nodded.

"Sure. What makes you think he doesn't have that?"

Rukia's features contorted in a grimace, expressing an interesting cocktail of emotions – mainly different hues of confusion, annoyance and earnest consideration.

"Riiiight… So you say regardless his youth he's already had experience with _writing_ songs?" she snorted very unlady-like and shook her head "I'd say that's absurd."

"Why?" Ichigo objected "He IS a genius after all. You don't know what he'd been doing before coming to our school?"

"It's still too extreme."

"I didn't say it wasn't."

Rukia stood silent for a couple of seconds, consuming the information. Ichigo just watched her, letting her sink into her own private world for a short period of time, pleased that he could gaze at her face without worrying she would notice. The poor light didn't attenuate her beauty not a whit. Quite the contrary – her small, delicate features, twisted in a face, expressing utter reverie, was gorgeous as ever and her dark, melting eyes, surrounded by thick black lashes were even more mesmerizing than usual, making the boy next to her wonder what would it feel like if they tore away from the street and met his own. Would he be able to bear them imperturbably or would he do something stupid and rash?

"Don't be so stressed, we'll just have to trust the guy…" Ichigo found himself saying, his voice sounding somehow distant and foreign even to him. Rukia's face softened and she looked up, her exquisite lips forming a small smile.

"I guess…" she agreed, her voice unexpectedly soft and gentle. Ichigo felt sudden heat spread across his cheeks and hurried to look away.

* * *

Hitsugaya was lying on his bed, his hands under his head his mind going through what had happened that day. His gaze, somewhat distant and vague, was locked on some spot on the ceiling, while his brain, famous for its brilliance, was now utterly incapable of solving the mystery of its owner's unusual decisions and actions. He knew, of course, what he wanted. He wanted more than everything to sing, to play music, to be part of the magic that a perfect harmony of a melody and a voice could create. What he didn't want, however, was pretty much threatening to come along with the already mentioned aims. Suffering all over again the disappointment he had barely saved himself from drowning in was more than he could handle.

And this _thing_… this story he was involving himself into… It was all the same. It was exactly the way it had started back then.

Could he dare continue in that case? Could he truly take the risk?

No, yes? Yes, no? _C'mon_...

This was no test with answers to circle, no one to tell him whether he had guessed the correct letter. He had to figure it out _now_.

The phone rang.

Toushiro rolled his eyes and got up, going to answer it.

"Hello?" he attempted to suppress his lack of willingness to speak to anyone and accept messages for his uncle but, _of course_, failed miserably. His voice was an annoyed, rude drawl that made him feel a little bit guilty.

"_Hi. Am I… interrupting?_" a female voice answered, making his eyebrows shoot up with surprise and his mouth agape "_I uh, found your number in the telephone book… hope you don't mind?_"

"No, it's ok. You- um, you're not interrupting anything." Was this excitement he was feeling?

"_Oh, good. I'm glad…_" he scowled as he realized Rangiku sounded a bit different than usually. Less lively, less happy, even… His eyes widened as the realization hit him - she sounded _melancholic_.

And he sure as hell didn't like it.

"Are you ok? You seem a bit… down." He couldn't really remember the last time he had asked someone if they were feeling alright. Now it sounded so uncommon, so extrinsic he found himself worrying over the fact he sounded as if he didn't really mean it.

"_Well… I've been better… Look, I, uh, I don't really know why I called, I just…_"

He waited for her to continue, but she didn't. He could just hear her breathing, unsteady and uneasy at the other end of the line.

"Can I help you in any way?" he whispered at last. She stood quite for a second, then replied softly, almost desperately:

"_Sing me a song…_"

The request caught him completely off guard and he blinked with confusion. For a few moments, he just stood there, unsure of what to say exactly but luckily, she didn't wait for him to figure it out.

"_Please, just a song. Some beautiful, touching song, something powerful, something you like… Please… You have no idea what effect your voice has on others; just…will you do that for me?_"

There was a small pause afterward, then...

"Um...Ok." Hitsugaya agreed, almost in a trance, then leaned against the wall nearby and closed his eyes.

He started off by simply humming the melody of the chorus, remembering the notes, recalling the words. Slowly, the reality began to crumble away piece by piece as he sank deeper and deeper into the depths of his own little sea that he knew he always pulled himself out of with great deal of reluctance.

"Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years  
There was only you and me  
We were young and wild and free…"

He heard her chuckle and frowned, opening his eyes.

"What?" he snapped.

"_Nothing. It's a bit uncommon for a person your age to sing about "our younger years"_."

He felt a small smile spread across his face as well.

"_Go on. I love the song._" She urged. He then let himself slid against the wall, until he was sitting on the floor. He closed his eyes again and let the song flow:

"Now nothing can take you away from me  
We've been down that road before  
But that's over now  
You keep me coming back for more"

He heard her inhale with expectation at that moment and it made him chuckle before continuing.

"Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven"

_What a magic… _Hitsugaya thought _The music… such a casual, yet needed thing. How is it that songs have such power…_

"Oh, once in your life you find someone  
Who will turn your world around  
Bring you up when you're feeling down

Now, nothing could change  
what you mean to me  
there's a lot that I could say  
But just hold me now  
Cause our love will light the way"

…_Power to make you happy, power to make you sob, power to heal your heart…_

_…Power to help you survive in the cruel reality we live in._

"Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven"

_What would we do without music? How would we express the tornado of feelings that threaten to suffocate us? How would we be able to feel what other people feel?_

"I've been waiting for so long  
For something to arrive  
For love to come along

Now our dreams are coming true  
Through the good times and the bad  
Yeah, I'll be standing there by you

Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven"

"_Thank you_…" Rangiku whispered.

"My pleasure." Hitsugaya replied, his smile still in place "I hope I helped at least a little bit."

"_You helped a lot. Believe me. I'll go now. Good night._"

"Sweet dreams." Hitsugaya replied and put the receiver on the cradle. He then stood up and stretched, the remains of the song still tingling on his lips.

Soooo… Could he _truly_ take the risk?

He let out a breath he didn't eve knew he was holding and let his eyelids drop half-way.

Yes... yes, he could.

* * *

At her home, Matumoto removed the receiver from her ear and threw herself on her bed, sighing. Next to her was her mobile phone. On its screen it was written:

_"Two missed calls by Gin"_

She reached for it, picked it up, glancing one more time at the words, then turned it off.

* * *

**A/N: Song: Heaven by Bryan Adams.**

**Long time, no see. Sorry about that. Review, please. And check out my new video in YouTube. (the link is in my profile) ^.^ **


	9. About past

Hitsugaya wasn't really sure whether he liked it or not… having someone as energetic get in his way of consuming acceptable amount of nutrition by chattering tirelessly about random stuff while he tried so hard to concentrate on digestion… There was something really wrong with this girl, he was positive. She was there for only five minutes or so and he was already feeling dizzy only by watching her talk and talk and talk and giggle for God knew what reason… and talk and talk and talk and… Did she feel at least _a bit_ awkward? How did she figure out she could sit on the same table as him in the cafeteria anyway?

"Rangiku!" exclaimed a voice and suddenly someone dumped their tray down on the table with savage force, startling the boy before plopping next to the red-head "I've called you at least a hundred times this morning. Why didn't you pick up your mobile?"

"What are you doing here?" Hitsugaya inquired but Rukia just ignored him, too busy with staring intensely at her friend.

"Oh." Rangiku's cheerful voice faded for a moment "I forgot it home."

Rukia gave her a quizzical look and opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off when someone slammed their tray right next to Hitsugaya's and slumped beside the boy with an exhausted sigh.

"WHAT A HORRIBLE DAY!" Ichigo whined, mindless of the annoyed look Toushiro was giving him in respond of his invaded personal space "The chemistry teacher wanted to chew on me and spit me out, honestly!"

"I can see he did succeed…" Hitsugaya murmured and grabbed the edges of his tray, ready to move a bit farther from the strawberry, when his plans were rudely discomfited as Renji boldly sat down on that side, cutting him off from his only hope for escape.

"Oh, c'mon!" Hitsugaya groaned desperately, now completely squeezed between the two taller men. Nobody heard him, they were all distracted by Orihime taking her place on Rangiku's other side and smiling brightly as she announced she had gotten and A on some test. The boy rolled his eyes with annoyance and tried to think of a good escape plant. Which was a bit troublesome, considering getting up and leaving proved to be quite… impossible.

Hitsugaya glared darker.

"I have to go…" he snarled through gritted teeth and when he received no answer to that, he simply elbowed Ichigo, getting him to let out some weird high-pitched yelp and jump.

"What was that for?" the strawberry whined, pulling away a little and rubbing his abused ribs with his hand..

"Freedom calls for sacrifices." Hitsugaya replied bluntly and prepared to get up and leave. However, leaving turned out to be even more elaborated than he had imagined as Renji casually put a full spoon on the edge of the table with its shank sticking out in the air. The reason of such act was revealed when in his attempts to get away, Toushiro accidentally let his elbow drop on the same utensil and sent it flying in the air. And respectively land on Ichigo's tuft of orange locks.

"Ewwww!" the strawberry exclaimed, pulling away as if he hoped he'd get rid of the suspicious sloppy substance on his head that way.

"EWWWW!" the girls' exclamation followed right after as they as well pulled away from the polluted Ichigo.

Hitsugaya's eyebrows shot up with surprise, but the expression quickly vanished when behind him Renji began writhing with barely stiffed up laughter and everything was clear.

"YOU!" Kurosaki yelled and before anyone could interfere, dipped his hand in his plate without even glancing at it and threw whatever he mastered to hold in the red-head's direction. Surprisingly, Abarai was able to react fast enough as he swung an empty tray in front of himself, succeeding in deflecting the food from its route. However, deflecting the thrown substance didn't make it vanish – it simply changed its victim.

SPLOSH!

"Uh-oh…" Ichigo managed as Rukia suddenly shot up from her seat, her angry aura unmistakable even under the thick layers of dirt and the nasty looking pellet that was sliding down her left eye and cheekbone.

"KUROSAKI!" the scream made the whole cafeteria sink into ominous silence, everybody's eyes now locked on the dark-haired girl with horror. Ichigo looked like he was shrinking right there and then, unlike Rukia's figure that inexplicably grew, shadowing everyone and the strawberry in particular.

"I-I didn't mean t-to…"

"DIE!" Rukia yelled, grabbing her whole tray and without a second to think it over, threw it in Ichigo's direction.

Unfortunately, everybody seemed to miss today.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, PEOPLE!" came Hitsugaya's indignant shout as he pushed himself up from the floor, all covered with slimy grub.

"You have a carrot hanging from your fringe…" Renji chuckled, smirking.

"Oh, WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP!"

SMACK!

And suddenly, the top of Renji's head was decorated with a hamburger.

"This was junk anyway." Hitsugaya pointed out a bit more calmly, then bent down, picking a fork from the floor and stuck it on the top of the sandwich like a flag "That's much better."

Pause.

Suddenly, Matsumoto jumped up, her eyes wide and sparkling with excitement.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

And before you knew it, there were plates, unwanted meals and trays flying everywhere.

Oh, the beauty!

* * *

"That was fun…" Ichigo said as the six of them excited the principal's office after receiving a good amount of reprimanding for starting a major food fight in the cafeteria. They were still covered all over with random representatives of the outcome of their delicious adventure and as Orihime noticed, they smelled funny…

"Talk for yourself…" Hitsugaya growled, rolling his eyes as the one to speak before him slipped on a lump of something slimy that fell from Renji's hair with the (obvious) main purpose to make the strawberry crash down with the grace of an elephant.

"Oooh, you've never got in trouble before, huh?" Renji nudged the boy, mindless of his other male friend, still twitching on the floor behind them "I could tell by the look the vice-principal was giving you…"

"I'd say she was considering whether to tell his uncle or not." Rukia called from behind them, beating some cake crumbs off her front with very little success.

"Aren't we a bunch of horrible spoilers?" Renji chuckled, looking down at the boy and waiting for some respond.

Hitsugaya just snorted, rolling his eyes again and when the red-head attempted to nudge him again, pulled a fork out of somewhere and pointed it in the offender's direction like a weapon:

"Don't. Touch. Me!" Toushiro growled, narrowing his eyes. Next to him Matsumoto laughed loudly, put her arm around his shoulder and before he could hurt her with the utensil, snatched it away from him. Disarmed and helpless, Hitsugaya folded his hands in front of his chest and made a well-mastered grumpy face.

"What are you laughing at?" he snapped, annoyed "I'm dirty, sticky, slimy, I smell of something unspeakable and I don't even want to know what's stuck in my hair at the back of my head! IS THAT FUNNY, I'M ASKING YOU?"

Before Matsumoto could give him a very much expected positive answer, Orihime cut her off with a whine:

"I need to go home and change…" Orihime pouted, pulling on the rim on her blouse to have a better look at it.

"We all do." Rukia pointed out with a sigh "It would be fun to walk around the town, looking like this…"

"We could figure something out…" Matsumoto began, thoughtfully chucking her chin.

* * *

A few minutes later they already had their minds made up – they separated in 3 groups, each of two people and each group went to one of those two people's place (the one who lived nearer) to take a shower and borrow some clothes. Hitsugaya couldn't succeed in getting away without taking part in the oh-so-genius Solution and since he refused to change in other people's garment OR use unfamiliar bathroom and bathroom appurtenance, his only choice was to be the generous host and invite someone in his home. Which again, was hardly according to his taste, but was at least sufficiently acceptable.

"Thanks for the shower!" Matsumoto exclaimed as she entered the kitchen, stretching slowly and gracefully like a cat that had just taken a nap on some sun-bathed rooftop. She was wearing a male shirt, way too big for her and male trousers, barely hanging to her hips – all the garments belonging to Hitsugaya's uncle. She had a towel around her shoulders since her rust-colored locks were still hanging limp and wet down her spine.

Hitsugaya nodded curtly,still facing the counter and leaving her ignorant of the faint flush that dusted across his cheeks. He himself had already changed and showered and his snowy hair was almost as damp as hers, the fringe stubbornly stuck to his forehead.

"Are you in a mood for eating? Because no matter how much food I had the misfortune to meet today, very little happened to enter my mouth, so…" he turned around, holding two bowls of noodles and handed one of them to Matsumoto.

"Thanks." She smiled sweetly as she took the food "You're unexpectedly hospitable."

"I don't have a choice. I'm starving." He answered bluntly and headed to the living-room, where the TV set was. She followed right after, suppressing an amused smile.

"So…what do you do in your free time?" Matsumoto asked, casually plopping next to him on the sofa and tucking her legs beneath her. He gave her a sideward look with just the corner of his eye and continued eating, his face expressionless.

"Aren't you gonna answer?" she pressed. He frowned.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because we're not friends."

Matsumoto cocked her head to a side, both puzzled and curious but nothing near upset.

"Then why did you… sing to me on the phone…?" she asked. In respond his frown deepened and he stuffed as much noodles in his mouth as he could, obviously trying to postpone the inevitable so he could think of a a passable answer. That, however, didn't seem to be of any use as when he finally had no other choice but to reply, it was as simple as:

"I don't know."

"I think you do." Matsumoto grinned, nudging him. It seemed like today everybody felt the inexplicable urge to do that.

"No… I don't." Hitsugaya murmured, increasing the distance between them "Let it go and let it be. We can't be friends."

Rangiku paused, eyeing him up and down.

"You didn't sound that way before…" she murmured, her eyes drifting to the bowl.

"I know. But I thought it over."

Her eyes drooped and a small sigh escaped her lips. Hitsugaya glanced in her direction, a spark of guilt flickering in his eyes for a short moment before he concentrated on his food again.

Pause.

"But we don't have to be friends to talk, do we?" Matsumoto tried again. He looked at her and the edges of his lips twitched almost unnoticeable as if he were about to smile, then he nodded.

A relieved grin spread across the girl's face and her body visibly relaxed.

"What can I ask you?"

"Ask away, I'll choose whether to answer."

"Ok. So… uh… where did you live before you came here?"

"In a small town not so far away from here." He replied, poking what little was left of his meal.

"With your parents?" she asked.

"No."

"Then… where are your parents?"

She realized it was the wrong question to ask when his jaw visually tightened and his aqua eyes froze, darkening with a particularly mirthless emotion. She frowned and looked down as well, her turn to feel the guilt unpleasantly messing with her stomach. _Stupid Matusmoto_. If he said he didn't live with his parents, there must've been a very good but not so merry reason for that. Think before you speak. Was it so hard to remember?

"I don't know my father." He said suddenly, surprising her since she was more than sure he wasn't going to reply "I don't even know his name. You see… Mom never talked about him. She was very young when she got pregnant and I'm well aware it ruined her youth, her life… She never said anything, though. She never yelled at me, she never accused me of anything, she was one of those amazing, loving people who always smiled. My grandparents were nothing like her… Sometimes they… said things… And I knew I was a mistake. I knew mom would've been better off without me…"

"She sounds like a wonderful person…" Matsumoto mumbled weakly, not sure whether she wanted him to continue or not. Hitsugaya nodded, poking the now empty bowl.

"She _was_… she_ really_ was. And she actually loved me… That's why we moved out of my grandparents'. We moved here, to Ukitake's. He was the only one in the family who saw me as she did. We lived here of awhile and then she… met this guy… And she fell head over heels in love with him. He was way older than her and he had already divorced once, so he had a son of his own. They married and we moved out. Then, two years later, mom got ill… The doctors couldn't help her much, because she had been hiding her pain behind a smile for way too long just to prevent everyone from worrying. She didn't want to treat herself. She chose to spend her last days like she had most of her life – loving, caring, spreading light and warmth around her… It was hard to tell in how much pain she was – her sallow face was the only thing that gave away her condition. What an amazing person… My mother didn't fade away like an ordinary sick woman. She was lively and kind to the very end. That's why it was so hard to believe when one day… she just... left us…"

"I… I'm sorry… "Rangiku said, but he shook his head.

"No… Don't be. She died loving infinitely my stepfather – the man who deserved her love the least. But she was one to give away without wanting anything in return… She enjoyed taking care of people. I don't think she was unhappy."

"And what happened n-…"

"Please excuse me, I need to be alone for awhile." He suddenly said. He then got up and left her alone in the room, without even looking at her.

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks everyone who are still with me. I'm sorry for the very very very very late update. I'm sorry. Please, review and let me know if this thing is still worth it._**


	10. Duet

Matsumoto rolled on her back, the receiver pressed to her ear as she sighed softly:

"I'm jut saying it was stupid of me to start the subject. I'm not taking it personally, you go it all wrong." She insisted, twisting a soft strawberry-colored lock between her fingers absent-mindedly.

"_Of course you're taking it personally!" _Rukia's voice objected stubbornly from the other end of the line and the taller girl could almost see the image of her friend rolling her eyes right in front of her _" Just understand, he's not like everybody else, he can't open up and share everything with you all of a sudden as you want him to. Be more patient. He's not being reserved with you on purpose._"

"Yes, I understand, but… you know, I felt awful when he stayed in his room for a whole hour or so and when he finally _did_ get out of there, he looked horrible. I was at a loss, I…"

"_Was he rude to you?_"

"No, no! But he looked… so… worn out. And suddenly so much older!"

"_And you did what?_"

"Ridiculous attempts to cheer him up…"

"_That made it all worse?_"

"Y-yeah…" Matsumoto blushed with embarrassment.

"_But he didn't say he wouldn't come to the rehearsal tomorrow, did he?_"

"No. He didn't…"

_"Then it's all cool. Chill out and get some sleep."_

"Ok. Thanks, Rukia. Bye."

"_Bye._"

Matsumoto hung up and stretched, yawning. She then reached for her mobile phone on her bedside table. It was vibrating furiously, moving to the edge of the piece of furniture and threatening to fall on the floor. The girl took it indolently, her thoughts still wandering about into the conversation she had just had. Absently, she glanced at the screen, her half-lidded eyes having a hard time focusing on the letters and turning them into a meaningful information. However, when they finally did, the relaxed, carried away expression left her face along with all the blood and she couldn't help it but gasp, her hand shooting up to cover her now slightly trembling lips.

_No… No! Go AWAY! Leave me alone!_

Matsumoto let out a small, involuntary whimper and turned the mobile off with a harsh motion, putting it away, too afraid she might actually be tempted to answer it. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain her so abruptly shattered composure. She didn't like the fact the name still managed to affect her like this, to shake her whole being so powerfully, to leave her in conflict with herself. It was not only troubling, it was _scaring _her. How could he have such hold on her? And how long was it going to take to be able to look at what happened, at his name, at _him_, with indifference? Was it going to go away… ever?

Her heart was raising and she felt somewhat weightless, numb, her thoughts blurry and disconnected. This was not normal. This couldn't be happening. She was only just now beginning to truly heal, to gather the broken pieces of her soul, recover from what she was like when he left her behind. What DID he want? After all this time, what did he imagine they would tell each other? Couldn't he understand… couldn't he realize she wasn't ready to face him? Not yet. Not now. Especially not now… Not when she was so vulnerable.

Before she could comprehend what she was actually doing, she was already dialing a number on the phone. She needed a distraction. And it was barely about 7.30pm.

* * *

"You puzzle me." Hitsugaya admitted when he walked into Matsumoto's house, looking around "Why did you call me?"

"I told you, I…"

"Wanted to work on the songs with me. Yes, I remember." He turned around to face her as she was closing the door behind him "But that's not the real reason, is it?"

She stood quiet for awhile, her back still facing him, then she turned slowly around and smiled:

"Would you like a cup of hot cocoa?"

"Sure. Do you have those tiny marshmallows? I love those."

"Me, too!" she giggled as she headed towards the kitchen "Then again, who doesn't!"

Hitsugaya shrugged his jacket off, folding it over his right arm and made a few timid steps in and towards where she had headed. He then stopped, hovered for a moment or two again, and then just sat on the first step of the staircase, turning the lights out on his way so everything sank in semi-darkness, faint light from the darkening street oozing from the windows.

"Why did she call me when she obviously needs some alone time anyway?" he murmured grimly, stretching his legs forward and staring at his feet with surprising intensity. He felt his face contort into an annoyed grimace as he shook his head. He was too unsure of what he was doing here to feel comfortable with himself. He didn't know why he had agreed to come in the first place. He didn't understand what was expected of him and the very thought of _not_ understanding something was quite unappealing to him. Why was he gifted with this so called genius mind if he couldn't put it to any use in situations that were of genuine importance?

He grunted, shaking his head for a second time as he grew even more exasperated, this time with the soft snowy-white locks that were tickling his neck and occasionally getting in his eyes. Oh, but the hair was also _her_ idea, wasn't it?

_What an idiocy.._

Grunt. Grunt.

"Here." A cup of cocoa was shoved under his nose and he blinked with surprise as he took it.

"Thanks…" He murmured as Matsumoto sat next to him on the step with cocoa in her own hands.

"So…" she began, gliding her finger along the rim of the cup "What were… um, you know, your ideas…"

Pause.

Hitsugaya sighed and placed his cocoa next to his foot on the floor.

"That's not why you called." He pointed out quietly, meeting her eyes, his expression instantly softening as he saw the trouble in the blue orbs. She stood silent for a couple of moments, the nodded slowly.

"Sing me a song." She whispered and he raised a brow.

"Again?"

"Yes."

A smirk slowly spread across his face, followed by a very soft chuckle.

"Look, that won't do, I'm not some sort of a personal radio, you know." He replied, his voice stronger as he shook his head. Matsumoto felt her cheeks heat.

"I didn't-" she began but he raised her hand to stop her from continuing.

"I'll do it... I'll sing you a song if you wanna, but only if you sing with me after that." he finished, his smirk turning into a gentle smile that surprised her with the warmth and kindness it radiated. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she found herself mutely mesmerized by his face and before she had time to consider his conditions, she had already agreed.

Hitsugaya looked away, the faded light from the street reflecting in his irises soothingly. He then closed his eyes slowly, beginning to hum the melody of a song that Matsumoto recognized shortly before he opened his mouth and the glorious, lovely voice filled the air.

When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face I can't replace  
And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one

Matsumoto's body had relaxed completely. Listening to this was comforting her, comforting her heart and mind and soul in way that was breath-taking and so, _so_ soothing... Even without music, it was so much more beautiful and melodious than anything she had ever heard. In violation with all common sense, that voice of his, so different from the original, thicker, deeper, still sounded a thousand times more gentle. Like rose petals, gently caressing your ears, your lips, your face, your skin, and in the same time seeping through your body and healing your spirit like nothing else could.

I will never let you fall…let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Matsumoto sighed as the echo of the last few tones vanished completely in the thin air. She wasn't sure whether she'd ever get used to the effect his singing had on her. It was just too strong, too inexplicable, too different from anything her senses had ever stumbled upon. She couldn't imagine taking it as something less that amazing, it just wasn't possible.

"It's your turn." He said and she looked at him with glossy eyes "But I want you to sing something… more cheerful."

"You said you'd sing with me."

"I will. You start. You don't have to choose a duet, just any song." He encouraged, smirk forming on his lips again. She couldn't suppress her own smirk as she looked down at her hands for a moment before closing her eyes and biting the inner side of her cheek thoughtfully. It took her a few seconds of hovering over what song to perform before she finally nodded with content and turned to face him.

**All the could-be's buzzin' 'round  
My mind a thousand-timely cloud  
And now I can not see the sun  
**

**All the worries on my list  
Rush like lamings off a cliff  
I'm powerless to save even one**

**All my friends tell me I'm thinking too much  
It's not over 'til it's over  
Because today is trouble enough  
Live tomorrow, 'til tomorrow  
**

She jumped when next to her Hitsugaya suddenly started singing, too… A completely different song though. Her eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me  
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed  
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb  
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming  
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets  
You'll never know if you don't go  
You'll never shine if you don't glow

She laughed a good, generous laugh when he across his face spread a wide, full-fledged grin and gestured to her to go on. She shook her head with disbelief, but then continued singing from where she'd stopped.

**I'm not jinxing what could be  
Second guessing what I see  
There is you and there is me**

**No ****what if's**

His butting in startled her again and she blinked with surprise.

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

"Go." He nudged her.

**My crossing fingers knocking wood  
'cause worrying about we could  
Spoil the moment when it's good**

**No more**** what ****ifs****  
Could-be's  
One day's  
If only's**

Matsumoto giggled. This actually sounded cool.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder  
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older  
But the meteor men beg to differ  
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin  
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim  
My world's on fire how about yours  
That's the way I like it and I never get bored

Matsumoto could already feel where to begin singing and for her own surprise she found herself enjoying this game. When she started this time, she sounded more enthusiastic and lively, something she now realized had definitely been lacking in the beginning.

**That intro's looping on and on  
Don't really get to feel the song  
When it's only playing in my head  
**

**If I don't listen with my heart  
Trust my instincts from the start  
Then I'm as done, as done can get  
**

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

**So I'm not  
I'm not jinxing what could be  
Second guessing what I see  
There is you and there is me**

**No ****what if's**

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

**My crossing fingers knocking wood  
'cause worrying about we could  
Spoil the moment when it's good**

**No more ****what**** ifs****  
Could-be's  
One day's  
If only's  
**

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas  
I need to get myself away from this place  
I said yep what a concept  
I could use a little fuel myself  
And we could all use a little change  
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming  
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb  
So much to do so much to see  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets  
You'll never know if you don't go  
You'll never shine if you don't glow

**So I'm not  
I'm not jinxing what could be  
Second guessing what I see  
There is you and there is me**

**No ****what if's**

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold

Hitsugaya nodded to her to encourage her to finish her song.

**My crossing fingers knocking wood  
'cause worrying about we could  
Spoil the moment when it's good**

**No more ****what**** ifs****  
Could-be's  
One day's  
If only's**

**If the sky falls down  
What if it don't work out  
What if a black cat crosses my path  
Does that mean you and me, we're not gonna last?  
What if Mr Right turns out to be wrong?  
What if there's**** no**** happy ending for this song  
What if the one for me is the one that's she's with  
When my heart feels love, or will my head believes it?**

I'm thinking too much.  
It's not over 'til it's over  
'cause today is trouble enough  
Live tomorrow, 'til tomorrow

I'm not jinxing what could be  
Second guessing what I see  
There is you and there is me

**No ****what if's  
My crossing fingers knocking wood  
'cause worrying about we could  
Spoil the moment when it's good**

**No more****what ifs  
Could-be's  
One day's  
If only's**

And then the song died.

It was dark already, pitch dark, but Matsumoto could see his eyes glowing faintly. She didn't even notice how her lips were now curved into a sweet, kind smile. Because she had already forgotten why she had been upset in the first place.

"That was fun." She heard him whisper. They laughed very quietly together, as if they were afraid if they raised their voices too much, it was going to break the thin threads that kept the fragile balance between them.

_Strange..._

They continued gazing at each other - an intense moment, _so_ deep and breath-taking... yet somehow not overstraining, but just light and sweet, like cotton candy. Impossible to spoil.

Matsumoto felt his fingers dancing through her hair, she herself unconsciously leaning towards him.

And then the phone rang from somewhere on the second floor.

They both jumped, startled the sound, and he pulled back harshly. Matsumoto felt perplexed for a moment, dazed as if she had just woken from a dream, and she laughed nervously for no particular reason.

"I'll… I'll go get it." She said as she got up. Hitsugaya nodded, grateful that she couldn't see how flushed he was in the dark.

Matsumoto disappeared up the stairs and he exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair.

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

**A/N: Ok, the first song was by a request, it's called Your Guardian Angel. The "duet" was a mix from No More (what ifs) - Matsumoto's part and All Star - Hitsugaya's part.**

**Hope it turned out fine. Review, please!**


	11. Flashback Part 1

**_A/N: Oops, late again. Sorry! But if it's going to make it up to you, I have a really nasty zit. T.T Okay, so here's the next chapter! It might be OOC some, but I really don't understand many of the temper of the new characters I added. Sorry._**

* * *

"Alright… No, it's ok, you don't worry about me and concentrate on recovering." Matsumoto ran a hand through her hair and snapped her mobile phone shut. So much for the rehearsal…

"You're angry." Hitsugaya pointed out flatly from his place on the edge of the stage where he was sitting casually, his legs dangling in the air. Matsumoto shook her head as if to chase the annoyance away and glanced in his direction, glaring mildly.

"I wonder why you're not. It's been more than a week since we last had a rehearsal. Everybody's got that stupid flu. And of course Rukia and Renji somehow ended up getting worse instead of better."

"It's only a week. And it's not their fault."

"Of course not! I'm not saying it is, it's just… we are in the middle of this song, _our_ song and… we'll more or less lose some of the progress because of this…" she crossed her hands in front of her chest, made a circle around the stage and then sat down next to Hitsugaya. He didn't look up, his eyes focused on the guitar in his hands as he gently traced the strings with the tips of his index and middle finger before pulling at some of them, then stopping to adjust the strain of the chords to his likening until they achieved the ability to produce the perfect, flawless sound. The fondness and care with which he touched the instrument had her stunned, shattering the worries that racked her brain for one blissful second, before they returned again, this time somewhat dulled.

"It's really bad we can't do anything, just the two of us…" she found herself saying without thinking. This time he looked up, meeting her eyes with a bit of wonder in his own teal orbs.

"We can fix that, if you wanna…" he replied, raising a brow. She blinked.

"What do you mean?"

A strange emotion Matsumoto could not identify flamed in his eyes, before vanishing when he blinked and looked away.

"I have a bunch of old friends who can play music. I could call them to come over."

Matsumoto's face lit up both with excitement and curiosity.

"You can do that? Really?"

"Yeah, they live in the town I used to live in before… It's not very far away, I'm almost certain they'll be okay with coming here." He nodded, pulling a mobile phone out of his pocket.

* * *

Matsumoto wasn't sure what to expect as she walked to the club with Hitsugaya the next day. If the boy was excited about meeting his friends, he surely covered that up pretty well. He was a bit distracted, she noticed, spacing out a bit more often than usually, but overall he acted like his normal self and when she asked about his friends, he gave her a few names and no descriptions or stories whatsoever.

"Don't worry. They'll tell you more than the comfortable share of information about me and what we've experienced together anyway." He had said, his mouth curving into a half-smirk "I don't think I'd be able to stop them if I tried…"

"Oh." Matsumoto had replied, unsure of how else she should react at his statement. It hadn't mattered, though. He had already started talking about some mathematical issue she didn't really understand. What a weird boy, indeed…

As they walked around the corner behind which the club was supposed to be, a flash of black and white rushed past them and crashed straight into Hitsugaya making Matsumoto let out a yelp and jump back. Toushiro gave out a low, irritated groan as he was nearly knocked off balance and the person who had so boldly smashed into him, glomped him shamelessly and let out a horribly high-pitched scream.

"Yumichika…" Hitsugaya began, but his voice trailed off as the person attempted to squash his lungs into what seemed to be the Hug of Death.

"TOUSHIRO! OH, TOUSHIRO, IT'S BEEN SO LONG! WE'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!"

Hitsugaya choked, but Yumichika didn't seem to notice. Or mind.

Hug of Death proceed.

Matsumoto pulled back a bit, eyes wide and mouth opened, not completely sure of what to do. She just hoped the stranger would notice Hitsugaya's fierce attempt to free himself and let go of the boy before his face turned blue from the lack of oxygen.

"Yumichika, I think that was quite enough, we'll better have him alive." A voice sounded from the direction of the club and Matsumoto turned to find the source, her eyes falling upon three unfamiliar figures. She blinked and her mouth formed a confused "o". Were _those_ Hitsugaya's friends? Because she had definitely not expected them to look like this.

"Matsumoto…" Hitsugaya began, freed at last but still struggling to catch his breath "These are Hisagi, Zaraki and Soi Fon. And the imbecile who tried to hug me to death is Yumichika. Guys, meet my singer partner: Matsumoto."

She smiled nervously, fiddling with the rim of her blouse.

A spike-haired guy with tattooes across his face, a feminine-looking person, a man with the size of a wardrobe and a girl who looked like she had just swallowed a sack of lemons. Brilliant. This promised to be extremely fun…

* * *

"So how did you manage to persuade him?" Soi Fon asked, her voice sounding flat and uninteresting as she pulled her violin out of its case and gently balanced it under her chin for a moment. Matsumoto looked at her, raising both brows with confusion for she was more than surprised the most stern-looking of the four was the first to actually start a conversation with her.

"Into singing with us?" Rangiku asked, her eyes drifting around the stage to rest on Hitsugaya's pale face as the boy grimaced at something, too engaged into discussing unknown matters with Zaraki.

"Into singing at all." Soi Fon corrected, her voice a bit more friendly now "It was hard the first time, I bet it must've been even harder after what happened."

"The first time?" Matsumoto repeated, frowning.

"Well, yeah. Don't you know? Don't you know how we met him?"

Matsumoto shook her head. Soi Fon sighed and let her violin down, glancing at Hitsugaya and Zaraki over her shoulder to make sure they were still deep into their conversation.

"Okay. You look like a nice girl to me and I think since you're dealing with a boy as fond of emotionally overreacting as Toushiro you should know this. So you didn't accidentally screw things up. They're screwed up enough already… for him, I mean…" she glanced over her shoulder once more, her voice fading down to barely above a whisper "Me and those three guys… We were a band, you see. A great band. But even though we play wonderfully, the singing… it wasn't so great. It was fine, but… just fine. And there was this gang in the neighborhood… I don't know exactly what happened but Zaraki was on very bad terms with them. And, well… they played in a band as well. So when a local studio made a competition about musical bands, promising to help the winner make an album… That's when the animosity grew even more fierce…"

_Flashback:_

_The garage's door to the street was lifted. Time-saving and very convenient, Zaraki decided, although he'd gladly crash a door or two at that moment._

_"MAYURI!" Zaraki bellowed at the top of his lungs as he strode ominously towards the garage, face contorted with fury. Behind him Soi Fon cringed with discomfort at the sound but followed silently nevertheless, just in case no one else was capable to call the police/emergency after Kenpachi got his hands on them "MAYURI, YOU SON OF A BITCH, HOW DARE YOU STEAL OUR SONG! SHOW UP!"_

_"I'm not hiding." Came an unpleasantly friable voice from the bottom of the garage as the person in question made a few steps in the light, eyeing his visitors with obvious lack of interest. Behind him, holding different kinds of instruments stood three other men, their faces equally blank and emotionless._

_"YOU STOLE OUR SONG!" Zaraki boomed again, pointing his finger at the object of his accusations._

_"You should be flattered. It's a good song." Mayuri's mouth stretched into a scornful smile "Too bad you can't prove it was yours in the first place, hm?"_

_Zaraki's eyebrow twitched convulsively, his fingers itching to close around the other man's neck, his face however distorting with disgust at the idea touching the clammy-looking skin. This guy, this__** creature**__ in front of him, bred nothing but repugnance and currently rage in him and he hated the very idea of even being into the same room as him, breathing the same air, standing on the same floor. It was sickening, somehow. He would make sure to leave as fast as the matter would allow him. But what bothered him the most in fact was the eerie composure with which his presence was being met._

_"Physical abuse, however, can be easily proved. And I assure you that if things lead to that, your excluding from the competition will be your least problem." Mayuri added, the repulsive smile stretching to a grin. Zaraki's eyes widened for a moment before tightening menacingly. Behind him Soi Fon hissed sharply._

_"Huh…? Um…" a voice sounded and everybody turned to the entrance of the garage where a boy stood quite unstable, with much more shopping bags in his hands than he could possibly handle "What's g-… Who are you?"_

_"Toushiro!" Mayuri suddenly snarled, the grin vanishing, replaced by annoyance and disdain "How much time do you need to come back from the shop, you lazy good-for-nothing freak? Get your lazy ass here and fast!"_

_The boy didn't say anything, just did as he was told, attempting to keep his balance._

_"You can't complete the easiest tasks… I can't believe how ungrateful a freak can be. Since your mother passed away and my father is still willing to take care of you, the least you could do is help out a little at home…" Mayuri continued, forgetting his guests completely as he snatched one of the shopping bags, looking at its content as if searching for something._

_"I do help…" the boy murmured, frowning a little, but quickly looking down when Mayuri lifted his eyes._

_"What was THAT?"_

_"Nothing…"_

_Mayuri snarled quietly again, snatching the other bag and shoving the previous one into the boy's hands again. He proceeded that way till he had gone through all the purchases and when he did, his thin dry lips pursed into a thin line._

_"Where's the booze, boy?" the man hissed through tightly gritted teeth._

_"I __**told**__ you, I'm not old enough to buy one…" the boy protested, but before he could continue, he found himself shoved against the wall, a hand grasping his neck and the bags suddenly gone._

_"YOU ARE TO DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD! YOU HEAR ME!" Mayuri yelled into the kid's face. Toushiro choke, grabbing on the abusing hand and trying to break loose from it._

_"Let… go…" the boy croaked, fighting to catch a breath, his fingers digging pathetically into the dry paper-like skin of the man's limb. In respond he only got shoved higher above the floor, his air supply cut off completely, his neck throbbing with pain as the weight of his whole body hang down on it solely._

_"L-…" Toushiro threw his head back, choking more, blinking rapidly. He was going to loose conscious and fast, he could feel it and then… The hand was gone._

_Toushiro crashed down, quickly stumbling to get on all fours, a wheezy sound escaping his lips, followed by coughing as he fought to catch his breath. His hand shot up, trembling, to wrap around his pained neck._

_Between him and Mayuri there stood Zaraki, hands clenched into fists._

_"What's wrong with you?" Kenpachi hissed "Who gives you the right to mishandle the kid?"_

_"This is out of your business!" Mayuri hissed in respond, eyes tightening as he glanced down at the still coughing kid. The boy hadn't even noticed, but Soi Fon was hovering over him, her hand gently rubbing his back._

_"Just look at him! You're smart enough to understand! He'll never get a better treatment! So un-shove your nose from our family business, Zaraki, and get out before I call the police!" Mayuri added, pointing at the street, his long curved finger trembling with rage._

_Kenpachi gritted his teeth angrily, but after a few moments of staring into the other man's eyes, he finally turned around and walked out in the street, his strode stiff. Soi Fon stood up, glancing one last time at the boy at her fit, then quickly ran after her friend._

_"Aren't you going to do something?" she asked, catching up with him. Zaraki shook his head, a small sigh escaping his lips._

_"No. It's a pity, but Mayuri's right… There's nothing to be done…"_

_End of Flashback._

* * *

**You'll get the rest of the Flash Back into the next chapter. ^_^**


	12. Flashback Part 2

**_A/N: Well, yes, I'm late once again and the chapter isn't very long either, but hey! I didn't get as many reviews as I usually do on my previewous chapter. I'd update sooner otherwise. Anyway, the song is "Behind Blue Eyes" by Lipm Bizkit. For Twilight fans, read my story "Veto" and tell me what you think. Besides that please REVIEW and I'll make sure to update sooner and make the chapter longer._**

* * *

Flashback:

_"What are we doing here, again?" Soi Fon asked as she peeked cautiously from behind Kenji's broad back. The man rolled his eyes in response, snorting._

_"Finding out evidence about the fact that that son of a bitch has stolen our song." Kenji replied, gesturing towards the inside of Mayuri's house. Soi Fon looked behind her back at the window they had just used as an entrance and raised a nicely curved brow._

_"Well, I'm pretty sure there's someone in the house. The window was ajar, after all. And, honestly, sneaking around a house, where the inhabitants still move around, oblivious of your naturally so unwanted presence, isn't exactly the smartest thing to do." she pointed out, not so much because of the hope he'll listen, but because she knew well enough her words, in combination with the slightly you-are-not-that-clever-are-you? kind of tone was very much annoying to him "Besides, what are expecting to find? A letter in which he confesses officially that he's a talent-less bastard?"_

_Kenji paused with a groan, irritation entering his mind along with the meaning of the woman's unfortunately very truthful words, but he shook it all off, determination quickly sharpening his features again:_

_"... Then I'm looking for a way to screw HIM up. Find out what he's intending to do and figuring how to use that information against him." he insisted, making a few steps inside and looking around._

_"Sneaking around your foe's house. Wow. How valiant." Soi Fon murmured. He didn't pay her any attention, just started to make his way further inside the house, trying, rather fruitlessly, to be quiet and slinky. His enormous size didn't help him in that task. Luckily, whoever was still in the building, obviously was distracted and didn't seem to notice the weird thudding noises that came in unequal intervals every now and then, along with creaks, crunches, scrapes, bumps, plops and plumps._

_"There's nothing here." Soi Fon pointed out some time later, closing the last drawer in the roll in Mayuri's desk "Nothing about music or songs, that is."_

_"Now that he has our song I guess he hasn't got much to worry about. He's been a cheater as long as I can remember. He's got rid of all remains of remorse and he doesn't lose any sleep worrying what he'd do if he'd have to deal with things on his own." Kenji grumbled, shaking his head._

_"That means it's pretty useless to hang around here." Soi Fon interjected stretching a bit "We'll just have to figure something better and be more careful with keeping it safe."_

_Kenji huffed, then opened his mouth to say something but his lips froze and he turned around abruptly._

_"Did you hear that?"_

_Soi Fon paused as well, raising a brow as she pricked up her ears, expecting to detect sounds that marked someone had noticed their presence. Instead, something else, something softer gently caressed her senses._

_"Guitar?" she suggested, her voice barely above a whisper as she unconsciously attempted to preserve the fragile clarity of the melody._

_"It might be a record?" Kenji suggested._

_"No." she shook her head making a few steps towards the source "There's someone singing, too. I know this song… The voice isn't the original singer's… But it's not Mayuri's or any of his friends' either." She turned around facing Kenji for a second, then nodded eagerly towards the door "C'mon, let's go see who that is."_

_Before he had time to stop her, she was already gone. Kenji groaned, then went after her._

_With every step he took, the music got louder and clearer. The voice became somehow more real, more tangible, revealing unexpected, stunning brilliance, strength and beauty. _

…**And no one knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies**

**But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free**

_The notes, every each one of them, flowed perfectly flawless under the slender fingers that danced along the strings of the instrument. He could only imagine them moving and moving and moving, swiftly and yet with ease, in a way that one could only appraise as impossible. Those digits, a miracle on their own, seemed to make the player unite into indescribable synchronization with the body of the guitar rather than rule it. _

**No one knows what its like  
To feel these feelings  
Like i do, and i blame you!  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through**

_And that voice, voice so wonderful, so incredible it made the man crave to reach the source to be closer; desperate to clutch to more of it as if it was the only thing that would keep his heart beating. Oh, the combination was mind-blowing, intoxicant, unbelievable and along with all that so hard to believe._

**No one knows what its like  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
Behind blue eyes  
No one knows how to say  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
I'm not telling lies**

_Somehow, without even noticing, they had reached the small door that lead to the garage from the inside of the house. Soi Fon was merely a step before Kenji, just as desperate as he was. She grabbed the handle and pushed it open rather harshly. In that same moment the melody ceased, a cry of surprise replacing it along with the broken shriek of the strings of the guitar being pulled wrong._

_"WHAT THE HELL…!" someone yelled, then a crash sounded as he fell backwards, bringing a couple of more objects along with him._

_"You!" Soi Fon yelled with disbelief, pointing her finger at Hitsugaya, who was at that moment trying to get up from under the guitar and several other things that had covered him when he had tried to clutch to them to keep himself from falling._

_"You must be kidding me…" Kenji insisted, eyeing the boy with skepticism. Hitsugaya gave him a silent glare from underneath, then pushed the guitar aside and slowly rose to his feet, dusting himself off._

_"I have no idea what she must be kidding you about, but if you don't give me a proper explanation of WHY you are here, I'll call the police." The boy threatened, reeling a bit as he took a step backwards, his jade eyes never leaving the two intruders._

_"How did you do it?" Soi Fon suddenly asked, catching both males completely off guard._

_"What do you m-…?"_

_"You were singing!" She cut him off, her eyes suddenly wide "You were singing better than anyone I have ever heard in my life! And I don't even have the slightest idea of why that is! It was just so..."_

_"Are you MOCKING me?" Hitsugaya hissed, anger contorting his featured "If Mayuri finds out I touched the instruments, he's going to kill me. He hates it even if I just hum! So just knock it off and leave and no one will find out about this."_

_Soi Fon and Kenji exchanged glances, then nodded to each other._

_"You don't like Mayuri very much, do you?" the man asked, a grin quickly spreading across his face._

_Hitsugaya narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest._

_"He's my stepbrother. It's not like I have a choice. Neither does he."_

_"Don't you have other, more loving relative you could stay with?" Soi Fon asked._

_Hitsugaya paused for a moment, thinking over his answer._

_"I have an uncle… But he's in another town. I don't have the money to go. And my stepfather wouldn't lend me any…"_

_"Why's that?"_

_Hitsugaya sighed with irritation, obviously not enjoying the conversation._

_"My presence as a factotum seems to be rather convenient." He looked away for a moment, gritting his teeth, then added urgently "Will you leave already?"_

_Soi Fon just smirked in response._

_"Why don't you come with us? If things work out well, soon you'll have the money to go wherever you like. And if by the time you do you've changed your mind about leaving, then you can stay with us…"_

_Hitsugaya frowned, shifting his eyes from Kenji to Soi Fon and vice versa suspiciously._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Come sing for our band and help us win this competition."_

End of Flashback.


	13. Speaking without words

**A/N: Hi. The songs that follow are "Remember The Name" buy Fort Minor and "I Want To Spend My Lifetime Loving You" by Mark Anthony & Tina Aren (that's the song from "Zorro"). Now, I would REALLY appreciate if you reviewed. And in case you're wondering, I took so long because I was waiting for more reviews on my previous 2 chapters. Very egoistic thing to do, , and I'd appreciate if you check out my new video. It has nothing to do with bleach, but I'd appreciate some opinion.  
**

* * *

_Thud, thud, thud, thud…_

Hitsugaya paused for a moment and fixed his earphones, the music immediately becoming louder and clearer in his head. A small smile of content tugged on his lips as the beat washed away the unwanted thoughts, leaving the familiar feeling of desire for action. He hadn't listened to the song for awhile but it still effected him in the same strange way. He wanted to move. And he wanted it bad.

He pushed the impatience away, closing his eyes just for a moment and feeling every muscle in his body.

His eyelids lifted and he looked at the hacky-sack for a second, before throwing it in the air. His right sneaker connected with it, softening the fall just enough so he could send it back in the air in the wanted direction. He used his other leg to hit it from behind and then a few times with other one in the front, next it was on his shoulder, but pushed away swiftly and again claimed buy his left sneaker.

…**This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name  
**

He remembered the first time he had tried this. It seemed so easy from a distance, not quite as hard as many other sports, not nearly as dynamic. However for his own surprise he found out it was quite difficult and it did make you sweat. You needed a lot of exercise before you would be able to do even the easiest tricks. Back then he had plenty of time, of course. And with his infamous stubbornness he succeeded into achieving quite remarkable skills.

**  
Mike, he doesn't need his name up in lights  
He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic**

Nice. Almost hit the poor lady with the huuuge glasses.

He made an apologizing face as he ran to get his hacky-sack back.

**  
He feels so unlike everybody else, alone  
In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him**

Iiiiincoming hacky-sack! Beware, people!

_Gah, I'm out of shape!_

**But fuck 'em he knows the code  
It's not about the salary it's all about reality and makin' some noise**

He always thought about what he would've practiced if he had been taller. He probably would've tried basketball. Maybe dancing. But hey, he still appreciated the things he was good at. He loved skateboarding. And he had discovered the hacky-sacking again.

**  
Makin' the story makin' sure his clique stays up  
That means when he puts it down Tak's pickin' it up, let's go**

He seemed to had REdiscovered a lot of things recently. Singing. Friendship. Socialization...

...His hair.

And maybe one more thing he wasn't quite comfortable with.

Girls. Or one girl, to be precise.

He sighed. It would never be just one girl. _**She**_ would always be there, too.

**Who the hell is he anyway? He never really talks much  
Never concerned with status but still leavin' them star struck  
Humbled through opportunities given despite the fact  
That many misjudge him because he makes a livin' from writin' raps**

**Put it together himself, now the picture connects  
Never askin' for someone's help, to get some respect  
He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach  
And now when it all unfolds, the skill of an artist**

**This is twenty percent skill, eighty percent fear  
Be a hundred percent clear 'cause Ryu is ill  
Who would've thought he'd be the one to set the west in flames?  
And I heard him wreckin' with the crystal method, name of the game**

Hitsugaya cursed quietly under his breath when he missed the hacky sack, then slowly stretched, getting rid of a few spine kinks before bending down to pick it up. He was quite glad not many people passed by this playground. He preferred training in peace. The only ironic thing was that in the very few moments someone DID pass, Toushrio managed to send the sack flying merrily in their direction. Wasn't that amusing?

He threw the hacky sack in the air and caught it on his sneaker, just balancing it thoughtfully for a moment.

It wasn't like he really wanted to think of Momo. He actually preferred he didn't. But amazingly, he wasn't such a great master of his mind and feelings as he gave himself credit to be.

And besides... Even if he couldn't get completely rid of her presence - whether in his head or heart - it seemed like recently... it was much more faded than before. Much more ghostly. Someone else seemed to be pushing it away. He found it refreshing and much more healthier. Even if it was still quite uncomfortable.

**Came back dropped Megadef, took 'em to church  
I'm like 'bleach, man, why you have the stupidest verse?  
This dude is the truth, now everybody givin' him guest spots  
His stock's through the roof I heard he fuckin' with S-dot**

**  
This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name  
**

**  
They call him Ryu the sick and he's spittin' fire an' mike  
Got him out the dryer he's hot found him in Fort Minor with Tak  
A fuckin' annihilist porcupine he's a prick, he's a cock  
The type women want to be with and rappers hope he gets shot  
**

Hitsugaya popped a bubble of pink gum and grinned, never stopping to move. The little oval object flew around, letting out thud noises every time it connected with his snicker, a person or the ground. It wasn't really worrysome when it didn't have to do with the last two. And it seemed like they did occur him less and less often.

He huffed, removing some gum that was stuck on his nose tip.

**Eight years in the makin' patiently waitin' to blow  
Now the record with Shinoda's takin' over the globe  
He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope  
You won't believe the kind of shit that comes out of this kid's throat**

**Tak, he's not your everyday on the block  
He knows how to work with what he's got  
Makin' his way to the top  
People think it's a common owner's name  
People keep askin' him was it given at birth  
Or does it stand for an acronym?**

**No, he's livin' proof got him rockin' the booth  
He'll get you buzzin' quicker than a shot of vodka with juice  
Him and his crew are known around as one of the best  
Dedicated to what they doin' give a hundred percent**

He removed a lock of white hair from his eyes, letting out a small puff. It was amazing how he still couldn't get used to the feeling of having something on his forehead. Even now, sometimes, when he woke up in the morning and turned off the alarm clock, he instinctively reached for his cap that he used to put on the bedside table.

**Forget Mike, nobody really knows how or why he works so hard  
It seems like he's never got time  
Because he writes every note and he writes every line  
And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind**

**It's like a design is written in his head every time  
Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme  
And those motherfuckers he runs with, those kids that he signed  
Ridiculous, without even tryin', how do they do it?**

**This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name**

**This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill  
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will  
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain  
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name**

He jumped with surprise when someone tapped his shoulder and accidentally kicked the hacky sack in his own face.

"Ouch." he reeled for a moment, shaking his head, then pulled his headphones off and rubbed his face with a groan. That must've been a nice show to watch from aside. And the laugh that rang behind him proved it.

"Sorry for scaring you." Matsumoto giggled as he turned around to face her with a frown.

"It's alright." he said, his scowl softening some as he bent down to pick his hacky sack up "What are you doing here?"

"Your uncle told me I would find you here."

"Really?" he raised a brow and folded his arms in front of his chest "It still doesn't explain what you're _doing_ here."

She grinned. What a grin... It could literally blind you.

"Do you want to hang out with me tonight?"

Pause.

"Where?"

"I was thinkiiing... karaoke club?" she put her hands behind her back biting on her lower lip with anticipation "What do you say?"

"Don't we sing enough together, in your opinion?"

"Yes, but if the public in this club likes us, we get a prize."

Hitsugaya's lips curved to a side thoughtfully.

* * *

"People are looking strangely at us." Matsumoto murmured, blinking down at her mic. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes with a sigh, his own mic in his right hand that he had let dangling by his side, while the other one rested in his pocket casually.

"Guess why." he hissed.

"Why?"

"A tiny white-haired guy with a tall gorgeous girl. Wouldn't you stare?"

"You think I'm gorgeous?"

Hitsugaya glanced at her with the corner of his eye.

"The music's starting."

Toushiro resisted the urge to crack his neck bones again and just waited for the intro to be over. He always felt weird when he sang this song. It didn't feel completely right. But Matsumoto had insisted and since it was just some stupid karaoke, he figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

_Moon so bright, night so fine  
Keep your heart here with mine  
Life's a dream we are dreaming_

Matsumoto smiled at him and winked moments before he was done with the first part, then confidently took over.

Race the moon, catch the wind  
Ride the night to the end  
Seize the day, stand up for the light

He couldn't help it but smile. He figured it was one of her favorite songs. She sounded so familiar with it - like she had song it thousands and thousands of times before and still hadn't grown tired of it. Some songs were just too powerful for something like that to happen to them.

Blue orbs met jade ones for one short moment. And she closed her eyes before the chorus. Actually, he wished she hadn't - she had such beautiful eyes.

And then they sang together. Two voiced, two amazing voices, melting together with such indescribable perfection it left the audience with mouths opened and eyes wide.

_I want to spend my lifetime loving you  
If that is all in life I ever do_

Strange. He was starting to feel more comfortable about this.

_Heroes rise, heroes fall  
Rise again, win it all_

In your heart, can't you feel the glory?  
Through our joy, through our pain

_We can move worlds again  
Take my hand, dance with me_

She turned completely towards him, ignoring the audience and made a step towards him, both her hands wrapped tightly around the mic. Hitsugaya found himself suddenly enchanted, he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. Yet, it didn't prevent him from singing. His lips moved on their own, his voice modulating swiftly and fluently, the words clear and as magical as ever.

_I want to spend my lifetime loving you  
If that is all in life I ever do_

_  
I will want nothing else to see me through  
If I could spend my lifetime loving you_

Was it the same with her?

_Though we know we will never come again  
When there is love,_ _life begins  
Over and over again_

_Save the night, save the day  
Save your love, come what may  
Love is worth everything we pay_

_I want to spend my lifetime loving you  
If that is all in life I ever do  
I want to spend my lifetime loving you  
If that is all in life I ever do  
I will want nothing else to see me through  
If I can spend my life time loving you_

And just like that it was over and they both lowered the microphones together. The applauses exploded, washing over them, yet they didn't break the eye contact. Not quite yet. They just stared each other in the eye, saying things without words and hoping that the other will understand even if they themselves didn't.

* * *

"I should've guessed." Hitsugaya murmured, shaking his head as they exited the club, Matsumoto hugging a large plush panther in her hands.

"If you had asked what the prize was, I would've told you." Matsumoto pointed out, rubbing her cheek against the soft fur of the toy. He couldn't help it, but chuckle as he watched the expression of childish joy and adoration across her face.

"I'll walk you home." he said, his voice soft. Matsumoto tore her attention away from her newly found object of affection and looked at him, blinking.

"Are you sure?"

Hitsugaya shrugged, his lips curving into a gentle smile.

"It's late."

They walked down the dark streets, talking quietly, their steps hardly heard. As they strode, their bodies intuitively closed most of the distance between them - but they didn't try to do anything more. Hitsugaya's hands were in his pockets and Matsumoto's - wrapped tightly around her prize. Neither reached for the other. They just enjoyed the company. And then, when they finally arrived at their destination, they stood on the ail before Rangiku's house and just gazed into each other's eyes, once more speaking without words, touching without hands, singing without voice. The moon hid behind a cloud, leaving them in her dark shadow. The night embraced them in its arms, bringing them together, closer and just like that, without a warning, they kissed.


	14. Flashback Part 3

* * *

_**A/N: VERY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ!**_

_**Okay, this was supposed to be a bit longer, but I didn't have much time, because I wanted to update before I go abroad. I'm traveling tomorrow and I'll be away fro about 3 weeks and I'm not sure whether I'll be able to write there. So I wanted to update before that. At least this story. Now, if I'm able, I'll update. But I DON'T KNOW! I'll be able to go online at least half an hour a day (I hope) so review, I'll see your reviews and reply to them (even if delayed a bit). **_

_**This is a little flashback I hope you enjoy. Thank you. *bows*  
**_

_

* * *

Flashback_

_"Gotta tell ya, kid" Hisagi said, slowly shaking his head with amazement "I had doubts about you, but... the public's applause literally BLEW away the stage."_

_Hitsugaya let a small smile form on his lips and nodded, immediately returning his attention back to the glass of orange juice. He, Zaraki, Hisagi, Soi Fon and Yumichika were having a late night snack in a cafe nearby the place they had participated in a sort of a private "Battle Of The Bands" between their band and Mayuri's band. The night had been intense. The audience seemed to had liked Toushiro's performance way more than their rivals' one which had almost turned into a physical fight between the gangs after the show was over. But even though that was somehow avoided, the verbal battle did happen and it included so much of Hitsugaya's name that any traces of the boy's happiness of the first night he had actually sung on stage, were wiped away for good._

_"Hey, kid" Zaraki said and his giant heavy hand landed on the boy's shoulder, making him bend a little forward over the table "Are you alright?"_

_"Yeah, I'm fine." Hitsugaya murmured, stiffening when the man lifted his palm again and let it fall right back, probably in attempt to pat Toushiro's significantly smaller shoulder._

_"Are you upset about what happened after the show?" Kenpachi asked again._

_"I'm fine." Hitsugaya repeated making a faint attempt to smile "It was a great night. Thanks, guys."_

_"...You _are_ upset." Soi Fon pointed out, frowning "You really shouldn't listen to that son of a bitch."_

_Hitsugaya closed his eyes for a moment, the world behind the lowered lids drowning in silence for Mayuri's words to ring clearly in his head:_

_**"If you want to have the bastard-freak, that's fine! And you boy, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, know that you'll never have a real family! You'll be all alone all your life! You'll be lucky to have one person out there to actually **_**care**_** about you! Enjoy yourself for now. You won't have much more of this for long to be happy about."**_

_"I..." Hitsugaya began, opening his eyes again and shaking his head "I just... I didn't..."_

_"You thought he had a point?" Yumichika asked, raising both brows. Hitsugaya didn't say a thing, didn't move, just swallowed hard and let the rest of the gang groan with exasperation. _

_"I'm going to suffocate that douchebag as soon as I lay my eyes on him again!" Soi Fon hissed, slamming her fist on the table._

_"Stuffing his own socks into his mouth so he wouldn't be able to scream and hitting him with a baseball bat after he's already dead." Yumichika added with glee. Hitsugaya choked on the orange juice and stared at the narcissus with surprise._

_"I have some ideas, too!" Hisagi exclaimed, rubbing his hands together with a sort of sick joy._

_"I don't insist you do that." Toushiro assured them, sweatdropping at the infuriated, yet excited expressions on those three's faces. Beside him Zaraki chuckled and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a loud ear-ripping scream that made everybody jump startled. Before Hitsugaya had the chance to remember how to breath again and actually ask where that noise had come from, a unfamiliar girl popped in front of him with almost frightening enthusiasm flaming in her big brown eyes._

_"You are that guy who sang today in the club!" the girl exclaimed and clapped her hands together._

_"Um..." was all Hitsugaya could say, shrinking back in his chair when she leaned forward to have a closer look at him._

_"It is you! Oh, you were brilliant! I loved your performance and your interpretation of the song! Where can I hear your singing again? Are you going to compete in more serious contests? It'll be such a waste of talent if you don't! You just have to! I think there isn't a person that heard you tonight that wouldn't agree with me. Oh! But where are my manners?! My name is Hinamori Momo, nice to meet you!" and with that she stretched her hand forward._

_"Hitsugaya... Toushiro." he mumbled in respond, a faint blush tinting his cheeks when he took her hand tentatively and shook it. Around him the rest of the gang examined the scene, exchanged creepy sly looks, nodded conspiratorially to each other and without warning stood up simultaneously, making their newest acquaintance jump with surprise for the second time in the last ten minutes._

_"We are going now, Toushiro." Zaraki began and when the boy began to stand up, landed his giant hand on the small shoulder, pushing the kid back down "You can stay and have fun."_

_Before Hitsugaya had time to protest or require more explanation, the gang was out of the cafe, leaving him all alone with Hinamori and his half-empty glass of orange juice. He stared stupidly after them, trying to understand what had just happened and more importantly - why. Momo on the other hand didn't seem nearly as disturbed as he was and just silently pulled an empty chair to herself and sat down awaiting the boy's recovery._

_"Well, that was just weird..." he finally announced, shaking his head. Hinamori chuckled._

_"Agreed. You should probably ask them about it after awhile... since I doubt they'll tell you if you do it too right away."_

_Hitsugaya took a short moment to muse over._

_"...Or I point out flaws on Yumichika's face till he cracks..."_

_Hinamori gave him a strange look and he just sighed, explaining it was a long story about people's dangerous obsessions with their appearance. She accepted his half-explanation without questions and after making sure it was okay to stay with him, ordered herself a coke and asked him about his friends. He told her a little about the band and what the people there were like and how he didn't know them well enough but felt strangely comfortable in their company. She then related about how she had ended up on his performance that night and how the night before she had experienced an unpleasant break-up and how today her friend had dragged her along to the little concert to cheer her up. Hitsugaya listened patiently, not sure whether he was the right person for that, but feeling sympathetic for the girl and responsible to hear her out._

_"I'm not sorry for coming, though." she said "Your singing was wonderful. I've never heard anything like it. It just made me forget everything. And you looked amazing on stage, yet I'm not quite sure why that was... You're probably quite experienced, aren't you?"_

_Hitsugaya shook his head, staring at his now empty glass._

_"It was the first time I've actually sung in front of people." he admitted, lifting his eyes to meet hers "I was so nervous I thought I would never be able to even open my mouth. But once I did... I've never felt so free and alive in my life. I don't know how long it'll be before I crave to do it again." he chuckled softly "It might be addicting."_

_"I don't think it'll be harmful if you got addicted to singing on stage. I'm sure there'll be quite a mass of people being extremely happy and grateful about it." Hinamori assured him, smiling "By the way, do you play any instruments?"_

_"My mother taught me to play the piano." Hitsugaya said, sitting back in the chair "Then when I got interested I bought books and learned by myself how to play some other instruments, too."_

_Hinamori stared._

_"And... how many instruments would that be?"_

_He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck absently._

_"I play well the guitar, I think. And I'm pretty sure I do well with violins and drums, but I'm not fond of wind instruments."_

_Hinamori's brows almost sank into her hair from shooting up so suddenly._

_"You're not serious, right?"_

_"About what?"_

_"About playing all these things. You're just a teenager." she pointed out skeptically. He just shrugged again._

_"I guess I'm good at learning stuff..." he admitted slowly, then sat up, taking a more serious stance "But enough about that. Do you play anything?"_

_"Cello." Hinamori said, thoughtfully tracing the edge of the table "But not much realization so far." she paused, then lifted her eyes to gaze at the boy with wonder. Hitsugaya frowned and was just about to ask what was wrong, when she abruptly reached over the table, catching his hand in between hers and leaning forward._

_"Will you hear my playing? Please? I didn't see anyone playing cello in your band, maybe you'll need someone."_

_Hitsugaya's eyes reached the size of plates, his face growing bright red and his skin feeling strange against hers._

_"I-I don't know... um... I mean... I, uh, I don't... make these decisions, I just...you know... sing..."_

_Hinamori blinked, then figuring out he was about to crack any moment now, opened her mouth to continue pleading, but was cut off by Hitsugaya's mobile ringing loudly from somewhere in his clothes._

_"Oh.. Sorry..." he said and started rummaging about his jacket "Kenpachi gave me his old mobile. I have precisely four people in my contact list. Very dumb, huh?"_

_And with that he finally found it and turned to a side, answering it with one hand covering his other ear._

_"Hello?"_

_"__**You make **_**these**_** decisions NOW! Hear the girl, I don't care if we need the stupid cello or not!**__" Soi Fon's voice yelled painfully in his ear, making him pull away from the mobile with a face contorted with irritation._

_"What the heck..." he murmured and turned around eyeing the wall that separated the cafe from the street. The solid materials such as bricks and penoplast were merely about a meter tall and the rest was just large glass windows that allowed people from inside and outside the cafe to see through. In the very corner next to one slightly opened window (quite visible for people who weren't distracted by little brown-eyed girls), there were vertically lined four pairs of eyes._

_Hitsugaya lowered the mobile, hanging up in the process, his own teal orbs glued dreadfully on his new discovery. Hinamori examined his face for a moment, blinking with confusion, then followed his gaze. The hovering eyes hurried to hide as fast as possible, yet obviously not fast enough._

_"Ooooh!" she exclaimed with realization and laughed "Guess you don't have to think of ways to crack Yumichika."_

_"I'm going to kill them..." Hitsugaya hissed, gritting his teeth together. She laughed again._

_"C'mon, let's ask for a back door." she said, standing up "Maybe you could walk me home. And tomorrow we could meet for you to hear me play. Okay?"_

_"S-sure." Hitsugaya agreed, blushing again as he stood up._

_End of Flashback._


	15. Behind the Scene

**A/N: Hey, there. I'm back. ^^ Well, you wanted a longer chapter, so here it is. I think this chapter will be pretty much the end of Toushiro' flash backs... I think. Anyway, the chapter is longer than usual, I think, so I hope you are satisfied, and I hope you enjoy. So review when you're done, ok? Anonimous reviews are also welcomed! ^^  
**

* * *

"He just went to take a shower" Ukitake said, smiling gently at Matsumoto "And I really have to go, I have some business to take of. But you can stay here and wait for him, if you like." he gestured towards the living-room hospitably "I'm sure he won't take long. You can watch TV or a video cassette while you're waiting."

Matsumoto nodded and returned the smile, then when the man waved her goodbye and left the house, she headed towards the living-room. She could hear the faint sound of the heavy water drops landing hard from somewhere on the second floor and a soft humming accompanying it. Grinning and shaking her head as she recognized the tunes of a simple childish song, the girl sat on the sofa and turned the TV on, flipping quickly through the channels. It took her about a minute to figure out there was nothing acceptable on and with a groan of irritations she got up and went to see what kinds of video cassettes there were. Her finger glided with boredom along the names of the movies, all of them painfully familiar. When she found nothing interesting, she puffed to herself irritably and pulled a random one out. She was about to turn around and head back with her choice in her hands, when something caught her attention. In the newly opened space from where she had pulled out the cassette, there was another one in the back, with the name handwritten with a marker. It was obviously either recorded from the TV, or shot on place by somebody with a camera. Matsumoto raised a brow, glanced at the movie she was holding, then shrugged and shoved her hand in the hole, pulling the newly discovered video.

About ten seconds later, the cassette, named "**Me singing, Dragon of Ice, underground**" was playing on.

The video was indeed shot on an amateur's camera. A good-quality amateur camera, at least. The sound was very clear and the director was standing on the perfect spot, able to see everything that was happening in front of him. The screen was filled with the image of a not very big dark place, obviously in a building, with a small stage at the back and amazingly many people surrounding it. Matsumoto made an assumption it truly wasn't an official concert but just some sort of underground fun.

There was a moment of blurriness when the singer and the band that was supposed to sing came out. Obviously, the one who was shooting shook the camera unintentionally when the audience started cheering, but quickly recovered and switched it to a much closer view. Matsumoto could now have a very clear look at the singer and it made her eyes pop big and wide and her mouth agape with shock.

She almost didn't recognize him. And it wasn't only his appearance. When Hitsugaya lifted his eyes and smirked at the camera, she knew that it was far from his looks that was different now. Hitsugaya's hair was longer, messier, spikier. The ever-present rebellious aura that she had always felt flaming, blazing, radiating from and around him was thousands times stronger. His jade orbs seemed brighter, more dazzling than ever, glowing in the semi-dark room and never as beautiful, surrounded by their thick, pitch-black lashes and a few strands of soft snowy hair.

He was wearing black from head to toe just as Zaraki, Soi Fon, Hisagi and Yumichika with their instruments behind him.

Matsumoto remembered to close her mouth, when Hitsugaya's eyes lowered to fix the mic and the strange mesmerizing effect that held her paralyzed was gone. She shook her head sharply, once. Unbelievable. How could he do that through a video record? So disturbing...

Next thing she was shocked about was his singing, when she recognized the song. She was just so used to Hitsugaya's taste for slow, gentle songs or mildly amusing ones, that seeing him sing something so different and yet seeming so natural for him made her whole being shake with confusion.

**So cold that you cannot cope  
With a frozen heart  
I guess we blow apart  
I guessed it from the start **

Matsumoto's body had leaned forward involuntary as she waited with anticipation in the small friction of time between the couplets to hear how he was going to continue. Hitsugaya gripped the mic and his eyes squeezed shut as he started the chorus, his white teeth flashing.

**Stay in shadow  
I'll run this world out  
Stay in shadow  
It's running out of time  
Stay in shadow  
I want to watch it drown  
Stay in this now**

Matsumoto was so consumed that she didn't realize when the sound of water from upstairs stopped. She was absolutely stunned, stunned beyond believe by this boy's abilities and his immense talent. His deep, low and powerful voice was manipulating the tunes and the words with such lack of effort and at the same time building up such tension and vigor into the air that she suddenly found herself completely breathless.

**Don't say because you can't  
Say what we should have been  
Don't show what I resent  
Don't know cause I forget**

**So cruel to be so blind  
Darkness was on my side  
Now that you've come and gone  
I know where I belong**

**Stay in shadow  
I'll run this world out  
Stay in shadow  
It's running out of time  
Stay in shadow  
I want to watch it drown  
Stay in this now**

Why was this so different? It was still him singing, it was still her sweet Toushiro, who made every love song claim new, undiscovered levels of beauty and sensuality and who's voice could curve and ring into all the right places to make her heart both sink or fly. It couldn't be anyone but him, because it was only his singing that made this whirlwind of emotions raise into her body...

...Or maybe there was just one more man who could make that happen...

**Light is leaving as I watch you go  
Light is leaving inside of my soul**

**Light is leaving as I watch you go  
Light is leaving inside of my soul**

**  
Stay in shadow  
I'll run this world out  
Stay in shadow  
It's running out of time  
Stay in shadow  
I want to watch it drown  
Stay in this now**

Why did it feel so strange? Why, when it truly was still him? It was still...

**I want to watch it drown  
I want to watch it drown**

Matsumoto released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding when the song ended and the tension vibrating in the air vanished. The small audience from the screen exploded into a hurricane of cheering and whistling. She resisted the urge to clap herself and just let a small happy smile spread across her lips. Toushiro was and always would be - a prodigy in any way possible.

"What are you doing?!" came a sharp yell from behind her and Matsumoto turned around, her eyes wide with confusion. Hitsugaya was standing on the doorframe, barefooted, wearing a pair of baggy pants and unbuttoned white shirt over his bare chest. His hair was damp and limp around his neck, forehead and cheekbones and his pale lips were just barely parted. His eyes were wide, glazing with surprise, alarm and apprehension that Matsumoto couldn't quite understand.

"You were in the shower and I just..." Matsumoto began, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder at the TV, her face one of utter innocence and confusion, but Hitsugaya made a sharp, impatient gesture with his hand.

"Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!" He shouted, startling her and made a movement towards her, but stopped dead on his tracks, his eyes growing even wider.

"Okay, okay, sheeesh..." Matsumoto murmured and turned around, but suddenly dropped the remote control she was holding. She found herself frozen with shock when her eyes locked on the picture, zoomed as much as possible, to show Hitsugaya and a delicate-featured black-haired girl, their lips locked into a fierce kiss, right there, on the stage. The camera pulled back a little, letting the people who were watching have a better look. The girl's hands were around his neck, tightly wrapped, pulling him as close as possible, while one of his hands was on the back of her head to keep her in place and the other one was around her waist.

At that moment Matsumoto knew - his singing was different, not because the genre was different, but because it wasn't really the Hitsugaya she knew there, on the stage. It was someone, very much like him, but definitely _not_... the same.

_Flashback:_

_Hitsugaya was happy that Hinamori took on herself the task to help him find the way to the small, not-so-clean backstage, for he wasn't very sure he could do it on his own. He felt so lightheaded and dizzy that he could barely focus his gaze on anything or anybody in particular. He was very much hoping his current condition wasn't as obvious to the other as he feared and suspected it was._

_He sat on the first chair he found, trying not to blink as many times as he had the urge to. Somewhere beside him Hinamori giggled delightfully and her hands wrapped around his neck from behind, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek._

_"I'm telling you, this is an awesome advertising!" she chirped "I know we didn't need it much for tonight but I love the crowd's reaction! And I couldn't wait till the end of the next song, in which I'm playing."_

_"It's okay, I don't mind..." Hitsugaya mumbled absently. She pressed her cheek against his._

_"I wasn't very sure, but it seems like people do love it when there're relationships between the band members. And I don't mind pretending for fame, really. I just hope the stupid reporters don't dig it out."_

_"We are not so popular as to engage the paparazzi's attention, Momo." Hitsugaya pointed out, suddenly very sober and turned a little to give her a raised brow._

_"Our act as a couple is helping to change that." she replied._

_"Or maybe Hitsugaya's singing is." Zaraki's voice boomed as he walked past the two and dumped down into the chair beside them. Hinamori rolled her eyes._

_"Of course, Shiro's singing is not bad, but we have to use everything we've got." the girl said very competently . Somewhere beside Zaraki Soi Fon turned around to glare at Momo with blazing annoyance and contempt in her darkening orbs. Kenji, sensing the suddenly very heavy and tensed air, glanced over his shoulder, giving the woman a soothing look then when it didn't work, stood up, walked to her and lead her out of the room. Hisagi and Yumichika followed right after, gazing at Hinamori and the very much oblivious Hitsugaya on their way out._

_"Please, calm down." Zaraki whispered as he walked Soi Fon in the grey, narrow corridor. The woman folded her hands in front of her chest stubbornly._

_"This girl is hurting him!" she growled, her eyes narrowing as she glanced at the door they had just walked through "She's hurting him every fucking moment and I've had enough of it!"_

_"There's still a chance that..."_

_"That what? That she's not using him as much as she obviously is, while we are all consciously letting her!" Soi Fon snapped, baring her teeth viciously._

_"Toushiro is letting her, too, you know." Hisagi pointed out as he closed the door behind him and Yumichika softly._

_"Do you really think he doesn't understand what she's doing?" Zaraki added, raising a brow._

_"The boy is just hoping he's wrong." Yumichika interjected "He's head over heels in love with her."_

_"And don't forget it's pretty much our fault he's like that." Hisagi said and they all let a long, irritated groan._

_"So we are the ones who have to do something about it!" Soi Fon said, tapping her arm with her other hand's fingertips impatiently._

_"Do you think he won't be even more hurt if we do anything? At least he has his hope now." Yumichika murmured and the woman's shoulders slumped._

_"Let's wait a little bit longer and see what happens, okay?" Kanji said softly "I don't think it's a good idea to do anything right now."_

_There was a short pause, then Soi Fon sighed and nodded slowly and obviously with great reluctance._

_"Fine..." she mumbled._

_"Good. Now let's get back inside." Zaraki said and pushed the door open for everyone. Then froze._

_There, in the middle of the room, there stood some strange unfamiliar man, Hinamori Momo clutching to his arm and gazing up at him with dreamy eyes full of admiration and rapture. In front of them there was Hitasugaya, leaning forward in his chair with a suddenly very deep frown on his face._

_"I've wanted to present him to you for awhile, Shiro-kun, this is Aizen Sousuke." Hinamori chirped and a strange, creepy smile spread across the man's face._

_End of Flashback._

_

* * *

Song: **Stay in Shadow by Finger Eleven**  
_


	16. Letter

* * *

_**A/N: Well, there were some complaints about the length of the chapters... as in, that they are too short, so this one is longer. Hopefully you're satisfied. I also hope you enjoy it and review, though I'm a bit hesitant about this particular update... Anyway, here it is.**_

_**P.S. I'm going to another town for 3 or 4 days, so there'll be delay to the review replies. :)  
**_

* * *

"And then what did he do?" Rukia asked the next morning in the small local cafe they usually visited and took a sip from her cappuccino. Matsumoto's lips curved to a side as she proceeded to poke her piece of chocolate cake with her fork. Her brows were so furrowed they could actually compete with Hitsugaya's "frowns-of-doom" and it was both kind of funny _and_ disturbing.

"What do you think he did?" she said between her teeth.

"Went totally nuts and chased you out of the house with a stick?"

"Right. That would've been better." Matsumoto murmured, resting her head on her hand and letting out a small sigh "Oh, Rukia... You should've seen the look on his face..." she whispered, closing her eyes for a moment. She could almost see him right in front of her, his slightly parted lips, his wide, glass-like eyes. She had called his name, but she could see that for him her voice sounded so distant, like the shadow of a eternally lost dream. She could sense how his reality was mercilessly slipping away from him, blending with the expressiveness of the forever memories. Images, laughs, voices, touches - all strange, torturous and begging to be forgotten. A world without beginning, without an end, everlasting, ever living. A sickening cocktail of painful longing, a destroyed crumb of hope, boundless hurt and disappointment...

And yet somehow, he had managed to pull through, to come back. And when he did, when he could feel the solid ground under his feet and when he could breath in and it didn't make him choke, that was when that strange, indescribably emotion overwhelmed him and took him miles and miles away from her.

"He just, you know, asked me to leave... But he was so cold and distant, so... scary..." Matsumoto groaned, slashing the cake in two with annoyance "Why did he do that? He didn't even let me tell him why I came in the first place!"

"And why did you go in the first place?" Rukia asked, raising a brow. Matsumoto felt a faint blush tint her cheeks and her eyes adhered on the destroyed cake.

"Definitely not to upset him like that..." she mumbled, letting her lips curve into a childish pout.

"Rangiku, are you hiding something from me?" Rukia asked, placing her cup down and scanning her friend's face with concern. Matsumoto let out a small whine and dropped her head on the table.

"Just one teensy-weensy thingy..."

"Which is...?"

"Well, remember when you were sick?"

"Very clearly. And?"

"And then I kissed him." Matsumoto finished, making her friend sweatdrop.

"What a long and touching story." Kuchiki pointed out, shaking her head as she picked her cup up again. Matsumoto raised her head, looking at her friend with confusion.

"Aren't you surprised?" the strawberry blond asked, blinking several times. Rukia shrugged.

"Maybe a little. But I think I kind of expected it." she tilted her head to a side "Didn't you?"

The taller girl let out a small growl.

"It's frightening how well you know me..." Rangiku mumbled, resting her head on her hand. A strangely gentle smile twisted Rukia's lips.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Matsumoto sighed, closing her eyes for a moment.

"I guess... I guess that when I first discovered that there was something more about Hitsugaya Toshiro than his moody face, bitter language and cold attitude and saw the talent... this incredible, _unbelievable _talent... I couldn't exactly figure out why he was the way he was, why didn't he step forth and show what he got but I think that I always knew. Always knew how broken he was... How broken he is."

"And you like fixing broken things?"

"Please, Rukia, don't make it sound as if I'm speaking of an object. Toshiro might be strange to some extension but he's a thousand times more real and alive than any man or boy I have ever cared for in such way..." Matsumoto didn't mention a particular name in that statement, but they both knew there was just one person she would be comparing Hitsugaya with "At first I just wanted to help him. Just that. And then..."

"Something changed dramatically as you came to know him?" Rukia raised her brows and smirked when her friend nodded.

* * *

Hitsugaya slumped in his chair, covering his face with his hands and gritting his teeth. This was becoming so complicated! _Too_ complicated! He felt like he was having a horrible, disastrous deja vu and the feeling had been growing stronger and stronger, deeper and more terrifying since the very moment he had agreed to take part in this. It was a nightmare, crawling out from the depths of his wicked subconscious, reaching with its clawed and shriveled hands to grip his throat. He was suffocating in his own airless world, his chest tightening with every inhaling he dared to take. He didn't know what to do and it was slowly driving him insane. He wanted to let go of his past and blindly trust the future, but his scars were burning, they were crippling him and he couldn't find the courage to take the unknown salve to cure himself. He had been fighting against himself for weeks, months even, pushing his thoughts and worries away as much as possible, but now that his memories had crashed down on him, so unexpectedly, all his fragile guard had fallen apart. He had to face the happening. And he had to either except it or forever reject it.

Toushiro exhaled slowly, running a hands through his silver locks.

Why had Rangiku come? Why, when he had remained silent and given her the chance to walk away from that strange, inexplicable kiss they had shared? And why did he experience this sudden surge of hope and joy that fragment of a second when he had seen her in the living-room, just before noticing what she had been watching the whole time?

Could it be...?

Could it truly be that _he_...

He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling for a few long minutes. After all this time, all these talks, all the singing, the goofing around... was it really so strange to allow this thought to enter his mind?

_But I gave up on this... I forbid myself to ever let it happen again..._

Hitsugaya felt a undefined shiver run down his spine, electrifying his insides and rushing the blood in his veins as he involuntarily recalled those few short second of indescribable bliss when Rangiku's warm, smooth lips touched and moved ever so gently against his own cold ones. He could almost inhale her scent at that moment, feel her mild taste in his mouth and experience all over the delicacy of her tender skin when he had unconsciously reached to run his fingers across her slender neck.

It had been nothing but unforgettable. A kiss like no other. A sensation, so saturated, so intense, that the ground under his feet had ceased to exist, along with all the pain, rage and sadness in the world, leaving only warmth and love to seethe and extend inside his heart and soul.

So extraordinary that the mere thought of it made him dizzy.

Hinamori hadn't ever done this to him. Her kisses had been nice and pleasant, but they had had so much lacking in compare, so much less emotion and care that they just felt... empty. No matter how hard he had tried to see in them something more than what they obviously had meant, no matter how much effort he put to show her, at least through this little act of affection how he felt about her, they'd still been empty pretty shells of fondness that had never existed.

He sighed. He could almost hear Hinamori's voice, echoing around the room, her careless words, straightforward wishes, her stupid, enraging obsession with that man, Aizen and blind trust to everything he had said.

A whiff of anger caused his body to wince. He remembered how after the day that tape had been shot, everything had slowly begun to fall apart. Every word that Aizen had said, Hinamori took as gold and worshipped from the bottom of her heart. She had followed the so-called "manager" around, admiring everything he did or said, not letting anyone dare to object. She had neglect everything and everybody and had forgotten the existence of other human beings around her.

She had followed blindly and unreasonably the ideas of a perfect stranger, a man she had just met, she had done everything Aizen had said, changed everything he hadn't liked and had lost everything she had had in the process, without even noticing. Including her dignity.

And it hurt Hitsugaya the most that he, himself, had let her do all that...

Toushiro closed his eyes for a moment, clearing his head, then slowly sat up and bit his lip.

Maybe it was finally time to let go and accept the facts. Maybe it was finally time to give the world a second chance and dare think of happiness and acceptance.

He was in love again. But this time the object of his affection wasn't a senseless, naive girl that saw him as nothing more than a useful tool - this time it was a woman with big, warm heart, capable of loving and caring like no one he had ever met before...

He let a small smile twist his lips and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

* * *

Matsumoto was too irritated to check who was so annoyingly pressing the doorbell without a halt to take even a mere second to check who the molester was before cracking the door open with an angry expression plastered on her face and mouth ready to yell.

"Ya look so cute when ya're angry, Ran-chan..."

Matsumoto's voice was suddenly gone for good and her legs went so weak, she had to cling to the doorknob for dear life.

"Gin!"

The man stepped forward, taking a firm hold of her elbow and pulling her straight on her feet again.

"What are you...?" she trailed off when he pulled her against his body and wrapped his arms around her.

"Ya didn' return my calls..." he pointed out, his sly, ever-present smile growing a bit and his brows raising. Matsumoto was speechless, her hands involuntarily squeezing his arms, her lips slightly parted and her eyes wide with shock. It took her a few seconds to find fragments of her voice again.

"Is it really... you?" she whispered, shaking her head. He let out a small chuckle, nuzzling the top of her head.

"I came back ta ya and ta d' band and I'm not goin' anywhere anymo'..." he said, leaning to capture her lips into a kiss.

* * *

Hitsugaya was staring at the sheets of paper as he walked down the street distractedly letting his feet guide him. He was reading the words again and again, trying to find a way to make them sound more perfect in harmony with the music they had to match. He wasn't sure if this was exactly finished, but even if it needed some slight editing in future, he was pretty cure that the base was set, solid and unyielding.

The skeleton of the song had been built.

He had been surprised himself when he had realized how fluently the lyrics had submerged in his mind, dancing under the tones of a new, unknown melody. The song was right there, had been there the whole time, he'd just had to set it free and allow it to recreate on paper for the rest of the world to recognize.

Now he needed to show it to Rangiku and discuss it with her... No, first he was going to apologize. Yes, he was going to apologize for his behavior the previous day and then, if she was willing to listen... well, he was going to speak with her about what that kiss had meant to him... what she meant to him.

He felt his stomach twist unpleasantly when he turned round the corner and saw Matsumoto's house not far away in distance. The lights were on and he could see some movement through the window. She was home.

_Deep breath..._

He was pressing the doorbell before he knew it. He had got on the threshold faster than he had imagined. Or maybe everything around him just seemed too unimportant to take his time. He took a deep breath and waited, biting his lower lip nervously. He wasn't going to ring anymore. Just once, shortly. He knew how Matsumoto hated when people pressed the doorbell for too long.

_Stay calm... don't panic..._

Then, just as he was beginning to lose his nerve and started wondering if he was doing the right thing, someone answered the door, making his hear leap.

But it wasn't Matsumoto.

His eyes widened with shock and his lips parted, inhaling sharply at the sight in front of him.

"What the...?" he mumbled, shaking his head and blinking rapidly as if he expected the image to just go away, vanish, or transform in something more acceptable. But despite his hopes and wishes, the tall slim man didn't disappear. Quite the opposite - the stranger raised his brows and examined Toushiro with curiosity that just couldn't belong to an illusion.

"Short, white hair, teal eyes... Ya must be Toushiro, correct?" the man asked, not even trying to hide the amusement in his voice as he leaned against the doorframe on one shoulder "Ichimaru Gin, pleased ta meet ya."

Hitsugaya's face became completely shallow.

"Ichimaru Gin?" he repeated on the verge of choking "You are..."

"Back." the man finished for him politely "Tha's right... 's actually a good thin' ya came, cuz it'll be betta for ya ta kno' in advance... save yourself the humiliation... "

"What are you talking about?" Hitsugaya uttered, his heart missing a beat. The man sighed, scratching the back of his neck absently.

"Ran-chan was gonna come ova' ta ya tomorro' or somethin' ta talk ta ya... "

Hitsugaya could already see where this was going and his temples began to throb, a sick feeling spreading through his body at an enormous rate.

"...Now tha' I'm 'ere your services are no longa' required. Since ya were just a replacement an' all. So thanks a lot, ya did great aaan' ya can go now."

Toushiro squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, shaking his head. This.... this couldn't be really happening, it was just too... _no_...

"I want to speak with Rangiku." the boy insisted, making Gin raise an amused brow.

"Do ya really think it'll be any good?" the man pushed himself away from the doorframe, leaning forward a bit with his hands folded in front of his chest. "_Wake _up, boy! Do ya honestly think she needs ya? Especially now, that _I'm_ back? You were just a replacement. So step aside an' stop trying to play with the big boys."

"You don't know anything..." Hitsugaya tried but his voice was slightly unsteady and the fox-face didn't miss that.

"How much do I need ta kno'?" Ichimaru asked, faking a thoughtful face and chucking his chin with his index finger "Cuz I dun think ya havta be a boy-genius ta see tha' there's no real reason fo' Ran-chan ta choose ya over me, except maybe out of pity. Not sayin' 's not quite a powerful reason, but 's not a reason ta last. One day she'll wake up and realize what a mistake she's made, wha' a chance she's missed... an' if ya're a proud lil fella, I bet ya wouldn' enjoy tha' much. Would ya? So do her an' yourself a favor an' leave without making it painful an' difficult fo' either of ya."

Hitsugaya stood silent for awhile, trying to settle the turmoil that was his inner world. His body suddenly felt exhausted, his limbs numb, his chest heavy. He could feel the sheets of paper in his hand dry and rough and regreted all the effort and care he had put in this useless piece of trash.

"Right..." he uttered feebly, looking down for a moment then handed Gin the song "Will you please give this to Matsumoto-san?"

"O' course." Gin said. Hitsugaya nodded to himself, then turned around and walked away slowly, his shoulders drooping.

Ten minutes later Matsumoto came back from the shop with dinner. Ichimaru gave her the sheets of paper and told her that Hitsugaya had come by and said he wanted to leave the band. She was ready to run after him and discuss the matter that same minute, but Gin managed to calm her down and make her believe there was no point in doing so, for she could just wait for the next day and also give the boy a chance to think things over.

* * *

Next day afternoon Matsumoto came over Hitsugaya's house, determined to speak to him. She found Ukitake devastated, talking about how Toushiro had left the previous night to go to some relative for a unknown length of time.

"He asked me to give you this." the silver-haired man said, handing her a small envelope and then walked into the kitchen to see how the tea was doing. Matsumoto opened the letter with trembling fingers, pulling out a folded piece of paper, written all over with Hitsugaya's neat and steady hand-writing and a dried up snowdrop that had probably been preserved between the pages of a thick book for ages fell from the folds.

_Rangiku,_

_ I'm truly sorry for the sudden take off, I really wish I had the courage to at least say goodbye to you. Forgive me. I just couldn't._

_ I want to tell you how much you've done for me, how for the last few months you've turned my upside-down world into the right position but I'm afraid that no words will be enough to describe that. I hope my attempts don't seem as shallow and pitiful as I think they do and you'll understand at least partly what I mean to say._

_ Rangiku... You brought me back my hope, my faith in people, you flamed the spark in my frozen heart once more and gave me a reason to get up in the morning. In you I saw salvation that I thought did not exist, I inhaled air that was purer than everything I've ever breathed and finally let myself hear the warmth in the music, not only the ruefulness. _

_ And yes, it was you again who reminded me what laughing and joy and friendship are and it shall always be you who taught me how to love to the point of sacrificing and be grateful and happy about it. Love without the pain of it, without the sorrow, without the throe, the hurt, the regret. Only the bittersweet melancholy. Only that._

_So I'm thankful._

_ You never looked down on me. You accepted me the way I was and let me see myself through your eyes - normal and human, an image I had never completely dared to think of myself. You allowed me to taste of your energetic and free-spirited nature and somehow succeeded in spreading your light even in the darkest and most arcane places of my soul. _

_ You offered me your hand when no one else would and I'll never forget that. ..._

_ So I'm grateful._

_ Without you the remains of the frost that had benumbed my whole being would've never been melted. I had never dared think I would free myself of them completely till two days ago. But as much as it does resemble a dream, you did kiss me. You kissed me and shared with me your warmth, your ever-lasting fire and your endless will for life. So thank you. Thank you, my Goddess, my Muse, my Love._

_ Thank you for everything you've done. Thank you for everything you've given me. Thank you for existing in the same world as me._

_ I guess the very least thing I owe you is an explanation. A story, if you may. My story. It's not a very happy one, not a fairy tale and it might not be very entertaining, but it'll clear things out for you._

_ Yes, I do owe you that... so here it goes..._

_

* * *

**A/N: I won't be adding the rest of the letter, it's quite useless, I think, you already know what happens...right?**  
_


	17. Reason

_**A/N: Strange and not very long chapter. But it's NOT like you guys DESERVE more. My reviews keep on lessening. And I'm not happy about it, okay?**_

_**You're making me angry. You won't like me angry. I'll basically make this a non-happy ending fiction if you enrage me. Just at the happy final Toushiro or Matsumoto JUST MIGHT get hit by a truck.**_

_**And, yes, DIE!  
**_

_**And don't look at me like that, I won't be the slightest bit sorry. Nuh-huh!  
**_

_**This fiction won't be more than 20 chapters long. We're reaching the end people! SO STOP GIVING UP ON ME NOW!  
**_

* * *

_"Does it hurt...?" her voice was gentle and soothing, like cool summer rain, engulfing him, caressing his skin, consoling his soul . Hitsugaya lifted his lids ever so slightly to look at her. He already knew it could not be real, it could not be anything but a dream. But then again, were dreams so wrong, just because they didn't belong to the reality he was bound to live in?_

_"Does it hurt...?" she whispered again, a hint of mild worry seeping in her words. He sighed and let a small smile twist his lips. She always asked such strange, difficult questions..._

_"I...no, it doesn't...it doesn't hurt... it's just..."_

_"Then... what is it?"_

_Hitsugaya closed his eyes for a second._

_"The music..."he whispered, his lips barely moving._

_"The music?"_

_"Yes... the music... can't you hear it, mom? It's so sad." he opened his eyes when he felt her hand on his cheek and he found himself staring into a pair of jade eyes, identical to his own. They were both floating, the world around them empty, yet complete, built from the ever-changing and mingling shades of white and blue. _

_"Is it angry?" she asked softly, her slender fingers tracing his jaw "Tell me."_

_He shook his head._

_"Just sad." he said and she smiled._

_"You're such a good boy." she uttered, then put one hand on either side of his face and leaned forward to give him a kiss on the forehead "I wish I was able to tell you that more often..."_

_His chest suddenly felt heavy and the feeling of a lump stuck in his throat made his choke. He squeezed his eyes shut and reached out with both hands to embrace her. She felt like water against his body, unsolid and cold and her fingertips, tickling his spine gently were benumbing his muscles. But he didn't care. He didn't want to let go._

_"I miss you, mom." he sobbed, clutching to the remains of her smoky memory "Why did you have to go?"_

_"I'm so sorry, Shiro." she whispered "But you're strong... you can make it..."_

_"I lost it all, I lost it all, again..." his voice was cracking on every word and his body was beginning to shake violently._

_"Be strong, Toushiro."_

_"I'm so lonely, mom... I'm so..." he choked, tightening his grip on the fading away body "Please..."_

_"You know I can't stay." she cooed against his ear. He shook his head again, dropping his arms by his sides as he fell to his knees, squeezing his eyes shut and letting a single tear roll down his cheek._

_"Please, don't leave me..." he whispered once more, but she simply exhaled and ran her cold hand over his forehead._

_"You're not as alone as you think." her voice echoed through his world, sinking blissfully into the depths. He looked up to see her last smile, a smile of longing, love and regret and sighed._

_"Mom?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Is it always going to be like this..."_

_"What?"_

_"The music. Is it always going to be so sad?" he asked, a spark of hope enlightening his teal orbs. She bent down to kiss the top of his head and burry her nose into the tuft of white hair._

_"That depends on you, Toushiro." she said, ruffling the spiky locks, then her hand dropped by her side and she stepped back "Live, my love. It's time to wake up..."_

Hitsugaya woke up with a start, on the very verge of sliding off his seat in the empty train compartment. He groaned and rubbed his eyebrows to chase away the sleepiness, before noticing the train had stopped moving. Assuming that was what had got him to wake up, he got up and after gathering his luggage, proceeded to drag it out of the train. He quickly caught a taxi, pulled out an old piece of paper from his pocket and read the address to the driver, then sank back into the seat and redirected his lidded hazy eyes to the window and the quickly changing views outside. It was quite risky, what he was doing. And quite his only way out. If it didn't work, if it turned out that nothing had ever changed during all these years, then he didn't know what he would do. But then again...

He shoved a hand in one of his bags' side pocket and pulled out a stack of letters that had yellowed with the age. The paper was dry and worn out, the ink a bit smeared at places. All these letters, none of them ever returned, most of them never opened by the person they meant to reach... It was quite surprising, really. That his mother, so soft-hearted, so forgiving, had never let herself say "I accept your apology" to her parents.

He closed his eyes for a moment. He remembered the time when he had found the letters and realized that his mother had been receiving one of those every few months, seen how sorry her mother and father were for making her leave and yet she had never returned a single one of them. It was just not like her... And it had puzzled Hitsugaya to his very core of why she was acting that way. So it was pretty much expected that he had asked her about it. And then she had said something he would never forget:

_I can forgive people for insulting or treating me badly. I can smile and let it go. But I can never and I will __**never**__, __**ever**__ accept and remain unconcerned when they are hurting _you_._

He blinked a few times, chasing away the moisture that had gathered in his eyes and hugged one of his bags to his chest. _Then it's up to me, isn't it, mom? It's up to me whether I'll forgive them or not? And I know if you were still here, you would support me, you would be there for me, you would understand... _

"We're here." The driver announced, pulling over and looking at the boy over his shoulder. Hitsugaya nodded, then paid up and got off the car with all his bags. The taxi took off, leaving him standing all alone in front of a small and very well maintained house, with a nice clean garden in front of it. He glanced at the number on the fence's door, then pushed it open and walked in, dragging his stuff behind him. He dropped the bags on the ground a little bit before the doorsteps, then walked to the door and pressed the door-bell.

He could hear some movement from the inside, before a key was pushed into the keyhole and a small and quite thin elderly woman stood on the threshold. Her blue eyes widened at the sight of him, her dry lips slightly parting from the shock and Hitsugaya knew she had recognized him.

"Hi..." he greeted softly, his eyes full of apprehension as he waited for her to do something. Her hands shot to cover her mouth.

"Toushiro... is that you?" she uttered. Swallowing with some difficulty, he gave her a small nod and before he knew it, he was pulled into a tight embrace and the woman had burst into tears.

"My boy, my dear boy... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything..." she sobbed into his small shoulder and he knew he had done the right thing.

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Matsumoto shook her head in denial, her eyebrows uncommonly furrowed and her temples throbbing with stress. Her hand with the letter was trembling uncontrollably and her miserable attempts to regain her composure failed one after another, living her more and more overwhelmed with desperation. This couldn't be happening. It didn't make sense. It was _just_ a dream. She was going to wake up any minute now, _any_ minute, and realize with great relieve that she wasn't sitting in her principal's living-room, she was not reading Hitsugaya's farewell letter and she wasn't really hurting as much as she thought she was...

This was not real.

It couldn't be. No, it was too cruel, too unjust, it was nothing but a surrealistic nightmare.

So why wasn't she waking up...?

"What do you _mean_ you don't know where he is?" she exclaimed, looking at Ukitake with disbelieve "I thought you cared about him!"

"I _do_ care about him." the man insisted patiently. His voice was gentle and polite as always and only a very observant kind of person could notice the strange shade of sadness that somehow smeared with the dying tunes of every word he uttered.

"Then _why_..."

"I care for him _enough_ to trust him on this decision and let him be." He paused for a moment "He's more mature than most adults that I can think of. He'll be fine, I believe in it. He just needs time... to heal."

"He _doesn't have a reason_..."

"Do you really think that a person, such as Toushiro would do anything whatsoever without a good, logical reason for that? There _must_ be a reason. We just don't know it."

"I... I..." she looked at the dried snowdrop, lying on the opened envelope on the table in front of her and her stomach twist into a ball "What am I going to do now?"

Ukitake gazed at her for a moment, then smiled sadly at her.

"Go home and think. And seek for the reason..."

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"If he was here, who would you choose?"

"It's been months, Rukia, why do you keep asking me this?"

"Because I can see you're unhappy. And I did notice the relieve in your eyes when they delayed the contest. You are still hoping he'll come back..."

"He won't. I know that now."

"..._who_ would you choose?"

"Toushiro's gone, Gin's here. I don't have to choose."

"So you take the easy way out?"

"What's so wrong about the easy way out?"

"It's not satisfying. It won't make you happy."

Matsumoto squeezed her eyes shut.

"Goddammit!" she exclaimed, slamming her fist on the table they'd been attempting to do homework on for the past hour and a half "He left! What do you want me to do? He left, _just like that_! Without... without saying why... And it only makes me think it was me who did something... to chase him away..."

Rukia frowned and opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by her cell phone began beeping.

"Ichigo?" Matsumoto asked, sighing as her shoulder slumped tiredly. Kuchiki threw her a guilty look, before standing up and walking a few meters away before picking up. The strawberry blond could hear her friend trying to speak as quietly as possible, probably not wanting to disturb her but her head was throbbing so wildly with some sort of dull, born from the stress and still unfound answers ache that she couldn't comprehend any words whatsoever, even if she wanted to.

She couldn't and she wouldn't blame her friend for finally getting together with Ichigo. She had seen it coming. Both of them always seemed to have a thing for each other, regardless the fact they often fought and made scenes in public. It was a sort of strange attraction they shared and Matsumoto was pretty sure they were happy together.

"It's good to have someone around and be happy with them..." she murmured, resting her cheek on her hand as she went through the textbook without really reading something "I just wonder why me and Gin aren't. And it feels like we'll never be."


	18. The Day Before

**A/N: Okay, I think we need a little bit explanation here. First of all, I know that I might've acted a little bit childishly about the reviews, but believe it or not, I have a good reason. This story has a very satisfying amount of reviews, I know that and I'm grateful for it. It started off extremely successfully and then all of a sudden - what do I get? Like, below half the amount of reviews I usually do. And that carried on since that time, no one ever telling me what I've began to do wrong - wouldn't you be annoyed?**

**Second of all, thank you all for being so kind to review! To the members of the site to whom I've already written thanks, well thanks again and for all the anonymous reviewers out there - thanks to you too. **

**About the story - hm, I think one or 2 more chapters to go. Yeesss, this is one very OOC, overdramatic story, but hey, it's in the description - see? Drama/Romance. It's because I'm overemotional freak when it comes to writing non-humour fics. Sorry. No, seriously, I AM sorry.**

**In addition, after this is over, I'm going to start a new humour fic, because I've had enough of drama for now, I need a CHANGE and I need it NOW. And well, my humour fics are less OOC. As much as you may not believe me.  
**

**Now, about this delay. **

**School is driving me insane right now. In a nice combination with my personal life - friends having problems, me having problems with friends, me having problems with friends who have problems, etc. Not gonna bore you. I also experienced a small author's block because I knew what I wanted to write in this chapter but didn't know HOW to do it. Oh, and btw, I SPRAINED my ankle, which swell, so be understanding, I'm in pain.**

**Now, be good, okay? I really need some support right now.  
**

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Things just didn't seem to go right these days.

It was dreams every night, some of hope, other of despair, different stories, the same characters. The reality was almost as suffocating as the nightmares because the feeling of incompletion, of gloom predestination, it could not and would not go away.

She woke up every morning, craving with every fiber of her body for something to change. For the days to stop rolling in the same mirthless manner, for the life to become colorful again, for the music to be beautiful and moving once more.

She ate and tasted nothing, smiled but always with a hint of sadness, she hugged and kissed and cared for others but there was always something lacking. Something vital. And little by little it was killing her from the inside.

Everything around her seemed to be a cruel reminder of the past. The time didn't heal her heart the way she hoped it would. The memories grew faded and uncertain, but the emotions that went with those were as strong as ever and she couldn't help it but wish with all her heart that one day she'd have it all back.

But nothing ever happened, the patterns remained the same and she felt a piece of her soul tearing off and perishing every day.

"I don't know why I'm calling you guys again, I know if there were news you'd let me know." Matsumoto sighed, running a hand through her hair as she paced around the kitchen, barely noticing where she was or what she was doing "It's a lost cause... isn't it?"

She could hear a soft exhale from the other side of the line and then some crackle before Yumichika's voice sounded again.

"_I'm really sorry, Rangiku..._"

"Me, too. I suppose if he hasn't come back by now, he just doesn't want to. And there's nothing we can do about it..." she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, reaching with one hand to rub her brows in attempt to loose the tension that had built up behind them "But I'm repeating myself again... I must be a real nuisance."

"_Don't worry, I understand how you feel.._"

"Yeah... Thanks. Talk to you later, then."

"_Bye, Rangiku._"

"Bye."

On the other side of the line Yumichika dropped the receiver on the cradle and turned around abruptly, putting his hands on his hips with a pout.

"I can't believe you just made me lie to her!" the narcissus exclaimed, his voice a bit unusually high-pitched with the indignation that crept into it. For a couple a seconds all he got in respond was a small and very weary sigh before opposite of him Hitsugaya slowly rose from the sofa, making his way towards the window.

"That's why I came to you, Yumichika, it's because you're so easy to persuade." Toushiro said, a small, slightly sad smile tugging on the edges of his lips. He reached with one pale hand and pulled one of the curtains, letting his eyes wander about the view in front of him aimlessly before settling on some spot beyond the horizon "I already explained to you the situation, I don't have much choice."

"I explained to you the situation as well." Yumichika replied, rolling his eyes artistically "You _do_ have a choice. You're just making the wrong one out of stubbornness."

"She's better off without me."

"_She misses you!_" Yumichika insisted, a rather uncommon frown appearing on his face as he now crossed his hands in front of his chest "You have to go back and settle things."

Hitsugaya let out an irritated sigh before turning around abruptly to face the other man.

"There's nothing to settle! And if I go back, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to leave again!"

"And WHY do you think you'll have to?"

Hitsugaya fell silent for a moment, gritting his teeth as he tried to think of a good way to explain the utter havoc that was his inner world right now and the utter havoc that had been his inner world ever since Ichimaru Gin returned in Matsumoto's life and he himself had to disappear. If he wanted to clear things out completely for Yumichika he had to tell the whole story and it bothered him to even _think_ of remembering it all in details, yet alone tell it out loud...

...Somehow, voicing something like this, something that usually irrevocably brought pain, could only make you hurt even more. Hitsugaya knew that better than he wished he did.

"...This is pointless." the boy murmured, shaking his head.

"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't just pick up the phone and call her again to tell her you're here?" Yumichika asked, tilting his head slightly to a side and raising a brow provocatively. Hitsugaya growled softly before running a hand across his face wearily.

"Dammit, Yumichika! You gave me a word."

"I did, but I thought it'd be reasonable."

"It _is_. I left because I wanted to move on and I wanted to let her have her life back, without me getting in the way..."

"And did you? Move on?"

"No." Hitsugaya admitted, closing his eyes for a moment as a look of shame settled a cross his face. Yumichika contemplated him for a moment, then shook his head and added a bit more softly:

"Well, you don't have to be a genius to figure that neither did she. And you really have to think about what you're going to do about it."

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When Matsumoto woke up next to Gin the morning of the day of the contest, she was not surprised to find no excitement nudging her insides and no nervous smile tugging on her lips. It was a gray and plain day like any other. Nothing special about it. They were going to go practice with the band, sing a little bit, get some applauses and leave. And that was that. Nothing to be all that agitated about.

Sensing her movement, Ichimaru groaned aloud, somewhere between the world of dreams and the reality, then rolled to a side and dropped his hand across her midriff, nuzzling her neck sleepily.

"Good mo'nin', Ran-chan." he drawled rather inarticulately, intentionally tickling her skin with his hot breath as he did so "'s the big day, how're feelin'?"

Matsumoto just shrugged, not sure what to say to that but Gin didn't notice the strange reaction and feeling completely content with his current position in the warm bed next to her, simply continued stealing some illegal minutes of sleep like he always did when he knew they had to get up quickly. Rangiku just closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.

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When the band got in building where the contest was going to take place, most of the other competing bands were already there, talking with the sponsors and the staff, clearing details out, discussing the rehearsing, the members of jury and the rules and basically making sure that the poor people wouldn't get away before explaining every minor detail of the forthcoming evening. Matsumoto decided that she didn't care and just pestered the nearest man with a suit and a file of where they could go to make some preparations and then practice.

While said man with the suit and the file was going through some list (from that file), Ichigo and Renji were busy telling basically everybody they met how awesome the band was, how no one else stood a chance and something about kicking butts till bruises showed up... Next to the two Rukia and Orihime were having a hard time keeping themselves from announcing they hadn't met the two boys in their lives and rushing away as fast as possible. Rangiku and Gin seemed like the most composed people even though the lack of excitement was somewhat uncommon for the red-head and it didn't remain unnoticed for the more anxious members of the band, despite the fact they choose not to mention anything.

"Ran-chan" Ichimaru called few minutes later, gesturing to her to come talk with him in private "Can I have a word with ya fo' a secon'?"

Matsumoto's gaze slid across the other members of the band and seeing they were all occupied with either accidentally breaking things, struggling with falling objects or fighting between each other, she figured it was okay to leave them for now.

"What is it?" she asked as both of them stood far enough from the others. Ichimaru paused for a second, hesitating how to put his question, then finally asked:

"Are ya sure 'bout da song?"

Matsumoto's eyes widened.

"W-what...? What do you mean whether I'm sure about the song?"

"'m jus' sayin'... Ya kno' we've been practisin' some of my ol' songs... we're prepared enough... we coul' switch."

"And why would we do that?" Matsumoto snapped more harshly than she intended to as she folded her arms in front of her chest restlesstly. Ichimaru of course didn't show the slightest sign of distress and merely shrugged.

"Dun kno'... I was actually waitin' fo' you to suggest it fo' quite awhile... After all, it's tha' kid's song."

"Is it too hard for you? Is that _it_?"

"Maa, maa, Ran-chan, no need ta be so touchy." Gin said, raising his hands in front of himself defensively "I'm tellin' ya this cuz I really think 's fo' the best to change it while possible. Ya do kno' well enough da song wasn' written fo' _me_. It jus' doesn' seem ta come out right when I sing it..."

Matsumoto's hands flew to her temples, her face contorted with stress.

"Dammit, Gin, why are you doing this now?" she exclaimed, feeling her head begin to throb "This is really stupid..."

"Jus' explain why you insist on da kid's song so much." Ichimaru pressed, his grin wavering a little bit and one of his brows giving a small twitch as his mask of composure threatened to crack. Matsumoto's hands moved down to cover her mouth for a few short moments, then she sighed, not sure what to reply for awhile.

"Don't I have the right for this little sentimental whim?" she asked softly as she let her hands drop languidly by her sides "Let's be reasonable, Gin, it wasn't all that smooth while you were gone - I admit it - especially in the beginning. However, we were starting to collect ourselves, to put the pieces together, mending what was broken, replacing what was gone for good... And even though there were misunderstandings and problems here and there, I'm not going to deny that we weren't doing to be fine. The band was going to be alright. With Toushiro. I don't even know what happened the day you came... I don't get it - what went so wrong... Everything just suddenly took this completely different direction... You're here, like you've never left and Hitsugaya, that peculiar boy that I finally thought I was beginning to get... He was gone, just like that, without any explanation, without telling anyone why h-..." she paused, her slightly downcast eyes suddenly widening and her gaze snapping up ".Gin..I just realized, you were the last one who spoke to him... He came to my house and you were there..." she ran a hand through her hair slowly "I was so upset about the whole deal that I never really thought about it... What the hell did you tell him?"

Ichimaru's brows rose with amusement.

"If ya're gonna accuse me, jus' do it." he said, his voice slightly taunting, slightly provocative and yet somehow containing a hint of resentment. Matsumoto gazed at him for a few seconds, appraising him, before she pursed her lips and shook her head.

"You didn't..."

"It shouldn' matter now, should it?"

Matsumoto squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled slowly, her hands clenching into fists.

"What did you tell him?"

"C'mon, Ran-chan, I didn't _lie_ to him..."

Matsumoto's eyes shot open before narrowing dangerously at him.

"What. Did. You. Tell. Him?" she hissed through clenched teeth.

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"GET OUT!"

"Oh, c'mon, Ran-chan, you're not serious..."

"I'M DEAD SERIOUS, YOU BASTARD, I DON'T WANT TO EVER SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Renji and Ichigo's eyes widened as they saw Matsumoto shoving the fox-face rather harshly towards the exit. Her face was rapidly changing colour - from deadly pale to crimson and she seemed to be shaking despite the force with which she was pushing Ichimaru.

"'s an ol' story! Ya havta calm down!" Gin shouted as he turned around and grabbed Matsumoto's wrists to prevent her from proceeding "Wha're ya aiming fo'? You wanna end up with no lead singer on the day of the concert?"

Matsumoto gritted her teeth, her eyes flaming dangerously before she pulled violently away from his grip.

"I'd rather get kicked out of the stage than spend another minute with a liar like you!" she hissed "I can't believe I ever trusted you again! All you do is ruin my life again and again... And I've finally had _enough_ of it. Leave."

The room fell dead silent, the lack of words or any sound whatsoever being filled with the almost crushing tension of the anticipation and suffocating mix of emotions that were electrifying the air. Ichimaru gazed at Rangiku for a few seconds, trying to see exactly how serious she was, then his grin faded away. She was unyielding this time and he knew it. No backing off. No regret. No. Never.

Ichimaru shrugged.

"Dun need ya anyway." he said with a light tone that made her shake with anger "Bye, Ran-chan! It was nice... doing things with you." and with that he turned around and casually walked away. Behind him Matsumoto let out a small gasp before plumped down on the nearest chair with exhaustion.

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"Vanilla and Strawberry." Hitsugaya ordered quietly, reaching with one hand to tuck in some of the more rebellious locks that were escaping from under the cap. The guy behind the ice-cream cart gave him a weird look before proceeding to fill up the cone.

"I just don't want to be recognized by... certain people." Toushiro said as he glided his index finger along the peak of his cap before taking the ice-cream and paying up. He then turned around and walked towards the nearest empty bench that very conveniently faced the exact same building he had come here for. He sat down slowly, stretching his legs forward with a content sigh and directing his gaze at the edifice.

"So... here we are, Hitsugaya, this is the place where the contest is going to be." he murmured "What are you going to do now?"

And with that he started eating his ice-cream.


	19. Chapter 19

**Authot's note:**

Ok, guys, here's the thing - I know I've made you wait for too long and I'm sorry but this year's been really difficult for me and the second term is even worse - I have almost no free time, I have to go somewhere extra every day after school and on Saturday I'm on a course for 4hours and a half from 14:00 to 18:30. The teachers said at least she'll try moving the course to maybe 10 in the morning in the end of the month which will be a lot better... But back to the point. I've had half of the last chapter written for months and I just can't get to finish it. So if you want me to, I can post that part, or you could wait for the whole thing to be finished. Tell me what you think.


	20. Winners

_**A/N: Anyone still here? I won't be surprised if not, after such a long time. I'll skip the disappointing making of excuses.**_

_**I must warn you though that I'm a bit out of shape and maybe this final isn't as powerful as I wanted it to be.**_

_**One more thing: THE LYRICS you will see are MINE. So they can be, and probably are FULL OF MISTAKES. Please, I beg you, do not judge! I WILL REMOVE THEM IF THEY ARE RUINING THE STORY! Seriously, tell me if I should. I wanted to make something special for the ending, ask you to imagine your favourite melody with what I've written, but I guess I am no poet after all. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoy it anyways. Tell me what you think. **_

_**THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS IF I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANY REVIEW REPLY! I'm sorry about that. I've become a slacker. In any case, I'll try get back on board and write some new fics. :) **_

_**Oh, yeah, and be warned that this contains a lot of FLUFF. xD  
**_

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"What are we going to do now...?" Matsumoto whispered, letting her ivory eyelids drop slowly. Her fingers ran through her hair, starting from the top of her pale forehead and pausing at the back of her neck, before covering her face. A strange, fusty feeling was slowly rising in her stomach, shooting roots of forlornness through her whole being, benumbing her limbs and draining the blood from her face. She did not regret what she had done, but that step, that decision, had left her sapped and dried up like a fallen tree leaf. It was probably the closure of a long and important chapter in her life, no matter from what angle she looked at it.

"It's okay, Rangiku..." Orihime's gentle voice spoke next to her ear and a hand rubbed her back soothingly "We'll make it."

"We're out of lead singers again..." Matsumoto groaned, shaking her head "I let you down, guys and I'm so s-..."

"Don't you dare apologize!" Rukia snapped, smacking Rangiku's shoulder lightly "You did what you had to do. You are our friend and we will support you, no matter what."

"I know that and I am grateful, but it was just the most horrible time to do it..."

"Don't give up on us so fast. We've come too far to just renounce because of a little obstacle." Rukia's small lips tugged into a gentle consoling smile "One of the boys will take up the role of the lead-singer and you'll see it'll all work out in the end." she turned around abruptly, her sharp eyes landing on Abarai "Renji, you know the lyrics, don't you?"

The red-head scratched the back of his neck, shifting his weight from one foot to foot awkwardly.

"Well... Yeah, I mean, I think so..." he murmured uncertainly "But honestly I don't think that's a good-..."

"Wonderful!" Orihime exclaimed, clapping her hands together cheerfully "See, Rangiku? There's nothing to worry about!"

"Guys..." Matsumoto began but the rest of the sentence just failed to emerge in her mind and leave her lips as her eyes travelled between the faces of her friends. Ichigo's mouth stretched into a smirk as he juggled with the drumsticks absently.

"It's not about winning, you know." Kurosaki pointed out, sending a gentle look in Rukia's direction "We've put a lot of effort in this. So the least we could do now is try. I think everybody would agree with me on this one."

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Maneuvering between hysterically running about people? So not Hitsugaya's thing. And he was only outside of the building, hardly having tried anything just yet. He was observing, contemplating... putting off... The boy wasn't completely sure what he was doing here, standing stupidly like a tree and... what? _Waiting_?

Gah! What _was_ he truly aiming for, what was he _hoping _for? He was no contestant, no participant and he wasn't planning to become one. Not that it was possibly now, anyway...

All he knew was there was someone inside, someone beyond the crowd of chaotically buzzing people, who he needed to reach. What he was about to do afterwards was just another question in the endless list.

Hitsugaya stepped aside, making room for a couple of men who had just got off a truck to carry several large boxes through the busy entrance. One of the edges of his lips pulled a bit into a sort of smile, as he made a mental note that the basketball training for the past months had paid off - the few inches of height he had gained granted people didn't attempt to walk over him anymore. Quite the opposite - as a matter of fact sometimes he would catch the eyes of some girl, staring at him, and not with the apprehensive kind of look that he was used to deal with as a part of his not-so-bright agenda, but a different, warmer, inviting and interested kind of way that made him quickly avert his eyes and pretend he hadn't noticed anything, as his cheeks unavoidably heated. That had certainly not been the result he'd been aiming for when he had started training - the real reason was he just wanted to keep his mind busy, not thinking about his problems. Sport was a good way to do so - he had realized - and soon he'd found himself spending more and more time on that. Hours and hours every day - till the sun settled down and he had to head back home. And inevitably have all the thoughts he had tried to ignore throughout the day rush into his head, crawl into his conscious and then take over his night dreams...

Toushrio shook his head abruptly to clear his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets, absently watching the men pass by from underneath the slightly lowered brim of his cap. They were probably the third group of deliverers for the last...what?

He glanced at his watch. Twenty minutes. The third bunch of deliverers for the last twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes? He'd been standing there for _twenty_ minutes?

Hitsugaya let out a frustrated growl, rolling his eyes heavenwards and just as he was about to mentally start pouring profanities on himself, he spotted a familiar face exiting the building with a cell phone to his ear.

"I've no idea wha's got into 'er. She jus' basically kicked me out. An' seriously wha's she plannin' to do without a lead singer...?" Ichimaru snarled into the mobile, throwing an overtly malevolent glance over his shoulder "Tha' stupid brat's brainwashed 'er or somethin'... She's been like a fuckin' zombie eva' since I got rid of 'im. 's hardly any fun bein' with 'er anymo'..." he slowed his pace, going round the corner where there were almost no people passing by and stopping there "I ain't worried though... She'll beggin' me to take 'er back in no time. Ya kno' how women are... I mean gettin' all worked up ova' somethin' tha's happened _months_ ago? I told him he's not needed anymo' so wha'? It was the truth. And Ran-chan wouldn' have had the guts to tell 'im. I did 'er a favour and soon enough she'll realize it and she'll be come back like a lost puppy, seeking its master... Oh, hold on a second..." he turned around at the feeling of someone tapping his shoulder "Yeah?"

Next thing he knew, there were stars dancing merrily in front of his eyes and blinding pain as he lost balance and fell backwards on the sidewalk.

"Ah, that felt good." Hitsugaya pointed out, rubbing his knuckles as he smirked down at the guy in his feet.

"Wha' the... _You_?" Ichimaru hissed as he supported himself on the elbow of one of his hands and held his bleeding nose with the other one. "Wha're ya doin' 'ere?" the man's eyes travelled up and down the youngster, a look of pure hatred mixed with nuances of confusion settling across the fox-like face.

"Surprised?" Hitsugaya asked, bending slightly forward with his hands crossed in front of his chest "And to answer that look you're giving me, yeah, I have changed quite a lot. I'm taller as you may have noticed. Tall enough to be on the right eye-level to punch you in the face, anyway. And by the way, I won't have any second thoughts about kicking your pathetic ass next time. So I suggest you don't come near me or Matsumoto ever again. For your own good, not for mine, since if you actually do it, I'm gonna enjoy myself so much while keeping my promise here. Have a nice day." and with that Hitsugaya turned around on his heels and walked away with a small smile playing on his lips.

He needed another cone of ice-cream to collect his thoughts and make out the details of what he was going to do.

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We could go on and describe in details the few hours that were left before the start of the concert. We could follow Matsumoto's inner battle as she realizes how useless everything is and how no matter how hard she or her friends try, their song would never sound right, as it would always lack that one something just bellow the surface of the melody and the lyrics, that one _significant_ ginger and ardent something, smoldering in its very heart that would make everybody who listen to it hold their breath.

We could of course, see Hitsugaya's attempts to find a way to go behind the stage without getting kicked out of the building. We could grit our teeth with anger at everybody who tries to get in his way, and keep our thumbs crossed to the very last second, urging him to get there faster. But actually all everybody is concerned about is the final scene.

The final scene pays off for all the wait and the nerves you've wasted as it finally gives you what you want.

So... what _do_ you want?

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The show had already started, making everything backstage a mess of complete havoc. People were running here and there, participants were puking out of emotional overload, a panicked drummer was running around in search for his drumsticks and sandwiches were going missing all the time. As Ichigo described it, all hell had broken loose. For his snack had vanished as well regardless of his careful guarding.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Renji suddenly complained, making everybody else snap their eyes in his direction.

"You can't be serious." Rukia uttered, her voice deadly low as she nodded towards the stage "We're right after this band is finished." The red-head chose to ignore her, shooting a pleading look in Matsumoto's direction.

"Can't it wait?" Rangiku asked, raising a brow. He shook his head frantically and she sighed with defeat "Just make it fast."

"I'll be right back." he promised and dashed out, frantically maneuvering between the people who got in his way. He reached the much needed destination in mere seconds, just to find out there was a huge line of men in front of it. Hopping impatiently on one spot, Renji let out a small groan of irritations and spun around, vaguely recalling the location of another toilet near the entrance. He glanced over his shoulder at the unmovable queue and had made up his mind in a second, darting off towards his salvation.

Several moments later he had done his job and was preparing to run back to his friends, when the sound of someone's yelling reached his ears. Whoever that was, was apparently getting on the guards' nerves with his demands to enter. From the sound of it, several other people were trying to persuade him stepping back and giving up on his attempts to get inside. Renji paused for a moment, raising a brow as the voice pulled a string in his mind, the feeling of familiarity came down on him, seeping through his skin like spring rain - warm and cold at the same time.

"What the hell..." the red-head murmured, his eyes widening ever so slightly. Next thing he knew, he was running towards the source of the noise, shouting to the guards to let Hitsugaya in.

1111111111111111111111

"This is bad, this is really bad..." Matsumoto murmured, glancing at her watch impatiently. The look of apprehension was becoming more and more saturated on the faces of the members of the band with every passing second. They had been warned already to prepare to come on stage in one minute, and Renji was still nowhere to be seen. What the hell was taking him so long? If it had to come to this, they'd better had signed out of the damn contest hours ago...

"You have to get out there." one of the organizators said as he stood next to them and gestured towards the scene "We don't have time for stage fright right now. Collect yourselves and get going."

"It's not stage fright." Matsumoto objected, a hint of desperation creeping in her voice "We're just missing a..."

"I'm here!" a voice yelled from across the hall and a blurry red spot ran towards them "Go out there guys, I'm coming!"

The sigh of relief escaped from Matsumoto's lips seemed to collide quite literally with those of the other members of the band as they gathered their instruments and strolled towards the stage.

They had no doubt hat Renji would follow them right after. They were so sure, so certain that the moment they step out, Abarai would be there beside them, that they didn't even look back to check.

They did realize his absence second after the spotlights were on them.

11111111111111111111111

You know... people out there who love each other are not always super-star beautiful as they describe them in films and books. It is a world-wide _lie_ tending to deceive teenage girls between the age of 13 and 15 years that only people who look like supermodels get their happy ending. In fact, there're are plenty of couples out there that, as you walk pass them down the street, you wonder what in the world they find into each other because they are nothing like the idea of Prince Charming and the Fairy Maiden and as a matter of fact they have so little (or lacking) physical virtues you probably can't even begin to imagine the factors that had drawn these two together in the first place.

Or, there's the other very interesting case you may have noticed several times these days... A gorgeous person, walking hand in hand with a grey, plain man or woman and smiling as if the latter were the brightest star in the sky.

Do these people, as they gaze into each other's eyes, ever wonder of why they love the one they love?

They do not. Simply because they are _too_ busy _not understanding_ how they had got so lucky as to find someone that special; too busy pondering how come the one they love had not been stolen by someone else, and why don't everybody in the world see how beautiful and perfect that one guy or girl is.

You _don't_ wonder why you have fallen for someone. You _do_ NOT love them because they have the deepest eyes, actually you find they have the deepest eyes because you love them. You don't love them because they have the sweetest smile, it is in fact, the other way around. You see the qualities no one else does because you have been blessed as to give your heart to that one person and to be able to adore the beauty in them in a way that no one else can.

You love them, because you love them.

And that was exactly what Matsumoto realized when instead of Renji's baritone, the words of the song exploded in a familiar, deep yet velvet-like voice.

For a moment she thought she was dreaming. It was both impossible, yet somehow, somewhere in her mind, she realized she had been anticipating it. With just the few starting words, the song sounded a thousand, a million times better than it used to be with Gin. The way it was supposed to be.

It sounded right.

In that one moment when she gazed in his eyes and mouthed his name, her entire world, sustained with so much effort during his absence, collapsed. And in that very same second, was rebuilt from the ruins, more glorious and beautiful than ever.

_Toushiro... you are here..._

She forgot all the questions she had been planning to ask him, she forgot all the anger and pain, and the suffering. It all vanished, just like that. It didn't matter how different he looked, that he was taller and a bit paler or that his hair was a little longer, splashing out of his ridiculous hat. He looked just as perfect as he had always been. And it felt as if it was the tomorrow of the day after he left. It felt like they had never been separated.

_And that is how wonderfully we belong together..._

She smiled, taking a deep breath as she watched him sing the first couplet of the song, inhaling all the love and care he had put in composing it.

They took away my happy ending

they took away my hope and soul

they took away and never gave me

the chance to complete once more

His voice was as magical as ever, soaked with all the pain and disappointment he had ever suffered. It was almost as if he was telling a story, without really describing anything specific. As if he was taking the listener's hand and guiding them through the decaying mazes of his mind.

She closed her eyes and opened her mouth to carry on with her part.

I was a shell, I was a shadow

I was a perishing sea foam

My heart was dust, my feelings - ashes

I was forever buried, gone

Hitsugaya made a few steps towards her, completely ignoring the fact that they were standing in front of a carefully observing audience. At that moment it was only him and her out there. And he could see that was exactly what she was thinking when they voices exploded in a perfect unison, entangling together and molding into one another in the smooth thread of the wonder of music.

_Show me, that I'm not alone_

_lead me out from the eternal dusk_

_take my hand, let's find the sun_

_let's find the hope, the love, we must_

_Fulfill my wish, fulfill my craving_

_I want for once my happy ending_

They took turns handling the couplets, exploring each other when silent, but when they sang together it was breathtaking, it was beautiful and it was making the whole crowd shudder and move to the very edges of their seats.

I have forgotten how to care

I don't recall what passion is

I don't remember, yet I dare

to long to have just one more kiss

Just one your kiss

She wanted to ask him if he was going to leave again. If he had come just this once to help her out, for the good old times. He wanted to ask her if she would take him back, if she would forgive him for being stupid and running away when he had to stay and fight. But as they looked at each other they realized that voicing those question was unneeded.

_Show me, that I'm not alone_

_lead me out from the eternal dusk_

_take my hand, let's find the sun_

_let's find the hope, the love, we must_

_Fulfill my wish, fulfill my craving_

_I want for once my happy ending_

For the questions had been answered long ago.

She reached carefully for his hand but he grabbed hers and squeezed it in a heartbeat.

If you were ardent warmth and endless light

if you were the sun; that blazing might

then I'd be that one mindless snowflake

that fell in love with you; that cherished

the only kiss it gave your rays

and being blessed, then perished,

engulfed by your holly shine

He drew her closer to him, his eyes never leaving hers as they paused before the very last chorus.

Matsumoto smiled softly, her eyelids half-closed. Maybe the song wasn't so special after all. Maybe its content wasn't so surprising or original.

_Show me, that I'm not alone_

_lead me out from the eternal dusk_

_take my hand, let's find the sun_

_let's find the hope, the love, we must_

_Fulfill my wish, fulfill my craving_

_And please, just be my happy ending/I want for once my happy ending_

_Will you please be my happy ending?_

But it was the magic of the real emotion that made it so powerful.

Matsumoto chuckled when she realized she didn't have to look down at him as his eyes were now at her eye-level. Her chuckled echoed through the hall, adorning the last few tunes of the song. Then she slowly reached and took of his cap, releasing a few more silver locks. He gave her a shy smile as if asking for a permission. He didn't really have to.

Suddenly, as if scared that if he took any longer it would all disappear, he drew her against her and kissed her.

The audience exploded into applause but they didn't hear anything. It didn't matter how well they had done or whether kissing on the scene was allowed and they would be kicked out from the competition.

It didn't matter if they were going to win the contest.

In their mind they were winners. They had won each other.

_**The End (I think...)**_

_**

* * *

Cheers!  
**_


	21. Author's NoteSequel?

Nooow, here's the thing – I've been thinking a lot and I admit that I screwed up plenty with the story final. It was just such a long time after the my previous updates, that I kindda forgot all my ideas about the story, and all the things I wanted to put, and most of the stuff I already had… yeah, messy, messy, messy. So… I have a suggestion. I've been considering a sequel and I believe I can pull it off – make it better than this story even, since my grammar is much better now. And the spelling. And the vocabulary. And the stylistic.

I've been going through some of the chapters, correcting some mistakes that I found (I was such an idiot back then) but I'm only like halfway through the story so far.

Anyway…. If you think that this story has come to an end and any sequel would just ruin it – ok, I will agree with you on that one. But if you want to see more, then I am totally in. Any suggestions, requests, etc. will be considered. Especially at this point, because the story is still forming in my head. I'm unsure of whether I want it to be pure romance/drama or add some action. Also the Momo factor is under question, though so far I think I'll let her out. Too much ex-girlfriend stuff? Dunno. I'm all ears, tell me what you think!


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